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Original poster

Odd incident with man in supermarket

50 replies

couchparsnip · 23/12/2018 20:55

I was in a supermarket earlier and it was very busy and this incident keeps playing on my mind. I am probably overreacting but just need some perspective if that's ok.

A man and his trolley were standing in an aisle I needed to go down. A lot of people were coming the other way so I waited in front of him and then went round when there was a gap. He then said something like 'you made it past eventually then' so I nodded and went to move on. He then said something else I couldn't hear so I moved closer and said pardon. He then told a story about someone pushing past him and how he grabbed them and punched them. At that point, before I could move away, he pulled me towards him by coat and mimed punching me, he actually touched my face with his fist and made my head go back.
I was shocked and upset, I told him loudly not to touch me, walked away and told security. They talked to him but did nothing else.

I've been going over it in my mind ever since. I realise I shouldn't have moved closer but he seemed harmless, he was probably about 60 years old, with white hair so I guess I thought he wasn't a threat at the time. I told DH when I got home and he hugged me and agreed it was weird but didnt' seem to understand why I was upset.

I am probably overreacting.. can anyone help me calm down and not let a stupid man ruin my evening.

OP posts:

DeepanKrispanEven · 23/12/2018 21:39

Don't report this to the police, they will do precisely nothing about it.

CatnissEverdene · 23/12/2018 21:39

Wow that's really weird. I think I'd feel shaken too.

Juells · 23/12/2018 21:43

He obviously gets off on frightening and intimidating people. The store should have done something about him.

AppleBlossomArseCheeks · 23/12/2018 21:44

Gosh crazy stuff, hope you are okay now op x

AdaColeman · 23/12/2018 21:45

Oh dear, that would have upset me too.
I was waiting at a bus stop one night when a young man grabbed my arm and told me that he knew eight ways to kill a person. Luckily, I could see a bus in the distance and thought I would get on it wherever it was going. But the man jumped onto the bus, and so I stayed put.

My guess is that he saw you as a polite woman waiting for others to pass by, so thought it would be easy to intimidate you.

Thank heavens that you weren't hurt, the world is full of strange people. It might be worth emailing the manager of the store to ask if the incident had be caught on film, that would give you something to go to the police with.

TheLittlestLightOnTheTree · 23/12/2018 21:45

yes they have cctv....i don't see your point?

as i said, security guards have no 'special power' here...

sharke · 23/12/2018 21:48

At that point, before I could move away, he pulled me towards him by coat and mimed punching me, he actually touched my face with his fist and made my head go back.

I'm sorry but I'd have called the police there and then.

What the FUCK.

Sparklingbrook · 23/12/2018 21:49

Security Guards can view the CCTV and get back to the customer. Not straight away in a very busy shop admittedly. Not sure what 'special power' is all about...
Or the shop manager can have a look.

Juells · 23/12/2018 21:49

It seems very premeditated, doesn't it? He blocked the aisle so he'd have a handy victim - if someone pushed past he'd be able to make something of that. You didn't push past, but he was aware you were there, waiting to see what you'd do, and when you disappointed him he had a go at you anyway. I would talk to the store manager, I think. That's not normal behaviour.

Loka123 · 23/12/2018 21:50

It would have been ok if he had mimed the punch without physically touching you (i.e. not grabbing your coat, nor making contact with his first to your face) - him doing these things to a total stranger, esp a woman is crazy - he's probably drunk or a bit of psycho/creep.

Your DH doesn't understand why you're upset probably because generally, men do this stuff to each other jokingly all the time so he probably viewed it from that perspective but it's different when 1)you're a female 2) he's a total stranger to you

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 23/12/2018 21:54

OP what an unpleasant experience.

let yourself be upset - I agree with this. Don’t beat yourself up further for being upset about it. Acknowledge it and get the support you need from DH and others.

Reporting to the police might help you feel better even if they can’t do much. But they might be able to as PPs have said with the help of CCTV.

Petalflowers · 23/12/2018 21:56

The comment about getting past was fair enough.

However, pulling you close to him with the pip unchains story was scary. No wonder you felt shaken. Defiantly weird.

Petalflowers · 23/12/2018 21:56

Punching, not sure about pip unchained.

Wordthe · 23/12/2018 21:56

don't give me that bulshit @Loka
men do not go up to strange men in the supermarket grab them by the coat pull them in and mime a punch in the face

And it is not remotely ok to mime punching at random strangers
if he did that to a man he probably get his lights punched out in return

Juells · 23/12/2018 21:59

pip unchained

How do words get so mangled!

Original poster

couchparsnip · 23/12/2018 22:00

You all agreeing that I was right to get upset has helped. Thanks xxx

Apart from the person that called DH a dick! I think you misunderstood, he wasnt minimising, he was agreeing with me that it was weird and was sympathetic. He just didnt understand why I was upset. He would just brush it off if it happened to him and thought I could do that too. He's supportive even if he's a bit clueless!

I mentioned it because maybe some fellow women would have more empathy. And you do, so thanks again. xx

OP posts:

threestars · 23/12/2018 22:03

You did the right thing by telling security.

Let’s hope he’s banned from shopping there again. It’s natural to replay something like this over and over in your mind. The problem is that he’s unlikely to be giving it a second thought. He wouldn’t have picked you out especially, he would have done it on a whim.
He is the one with a problem - he can’t even shop without causing aggro. Perhaps he’s a very bitter man?. Since you did the right thing, and there’s not really anything more you can do about it, congratulate yourself On doing exactly what you could have done, and pity him instead of getting upset. He doesn’t deserve to get the reaction he was hoping for. See his reaction as pathetic instead of frightening. It can help, I hope?

vdbfamily · 23/12/2018 22:08

Hi op. I had a weird supermarket moment yesterday too, must be in the air. An assistant came up to me and whispered that a man had been following me and my daughter and behaving strangely. At that point my DD12 was not in sight so I shouted her name and got what we needed. At check out staff member reappeared and said, ' he has long hair tied back, if he follows you out, come straight back in and we will look after you've !! Another staff member was guarding the door as we left and we legged it back to the car. Still feeling a bit freaked out!

HirooOnoda · 23/12/2018 22:11

All sounds very weird but equally not anything that requires, needs or deserves too much thought or angst. Old man poorly handles exchange with stranger in supermarket, from the description he was clumsy and a little inappropriate but not really much more. Move on, enjoy Christmas and forget about it

The thought that the police would be in any way interested in this is misguided at best I am afraid

mumsastudent · 23/12/2018 22:12

high on something (too much chocolate!) sorry op - nasty -but there are some strange people out there & odd behaviour & 60+ doesn't = dementia - they could have spent a lifetime being odd (& it doesn't =Autism necessarily either) got it - he lost the plot its.....Brexit!!!!

jessstan2 · 23/12/2018 22:16

Very weird indeed. I would be upset if that happened to me.
I hope you never see him again.

This time of year (especially in shops) brings out the worst as well as the best, in people.

Original poster

couchparsnip · 23/12/2018 22:17

vdbfamily - that sounds awful. I'd have been completely freaked out too.
How great were those staff though.

I don't think the police would do anything about the 60 year old oddball. It's not assault, it was inappropriate but I wasn't hurt, just intimidated.

OP posts:

WhenOneDoorClosesAnotherOpens · 23/12/2018 22:26

I don't think the police would do anything about the 60 year old oddball. It's not assault, it was inappropriate but I wasn't hurt, just intimidated.

No, unfortunately the police would be unlikely to do anything OP. My elderly NDN has done something similar to me. It really frightened me because he turned up at my house when he did it. The police said he likely had dementia and told me to ignore him. It was scary though and I've been on edge since then. Glad your husband is being supportive. You're not silly to be upset. Hopefully you're feeling better now.

vdbfamily That's terrifying! So glad to hear the staff were watching out for you and your daughter and you both were able to get away safely.

tempester28 · 23/12/2018 22:36

I would get in touch with the store manager - chances are he does this to others. It must have been a horrible experience, but don't let it ruin Christmas! Personally I would email the store manager and ask them to look into it seriously - because it will probably happen to someone else if this is an intentional behaviour. But once you have sent your email put it behind you.

HirooOnoda · 23/12/2018 22:56

@tempester28

What makes you think he likely does this to other people? I haven’t read anything to suggest he is some sort of serial inappropriate aisle wanderer - a one off aisle wan*er for sure but that seems about it. We do love to extrapolate to the n’th degree on MN don’t we

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