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Original poster

I don’t want to go to in laws because of shingles

64 replies

Bobthebuildercanhefixit · 23/12/2018 19:22

FIL recently had shingles, around 3 weeks ago. My DH thinks I’m overreacting but we have 2 small children (newborn and 18 months) who’ve not yet had chicken pox. I’m worried he might be infectious. We are meant to be going on Boxing Day and staying till after the weekend. I have a great relationship with ILs but anxious FIL is still contagious/infectious. Honest opinions please.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bobthebuildercanhefixit · 23/12/2018 20:12

He has a rash still.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 23/12/2018 20:13

Yes but it's it weeping fluid or is it crusty?

dementedpixie · 23/12/2018 20:14

Is it in a place that can be covered? How old is your baby?

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General health
HollowTalk · 23/12/2018 20:15

I wouldn't go anywhere near him while it's like that. I know it's a shame for him but if he felt like I did when I had shingles, he'll be glad of the rest.

LIZS · 23/12/2018 20:16

Is the rash exposed or covered? Ds went to school with shingles as it was on his back and covered.

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 23/12/2018 20:17

Even if the rash is covered, how's his personal hygiene?

His handwashing?

Scratching the rash could pop the blisters and the fluid could transfer by touch.

I wouldn't risk it.

Timeandtune · 23/12/2018 20:17

I am pretty relaxed about this sort of thing but I wouldn’t take a baby into this environment and if I was FIL I would be insisting on postponing the visit until he is fully recovered.

FestiveForestieraNoel · 23/12/2018 20:18

My husband had shingles just as our son was born so he couldn't be at the birth. The blisters had crusted over by the time I was discharged with the baby 5 days later. He kept away from the baby for another 7 days just to be sure.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 23/12/2018 20:23

I'm very surprised you say he still has a rash over 3 weeks later. Surely it's no longer oozing and he is no longer contagious. Taking the children will be fine.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 23/12/2018 20:26

3 weeks is a long time - like a pp mine had fully crusted over in less than one week.
Can you have a frank chat with fil or mil to confirm this if is the case?

OhLemons · 23/12/2018 20:30

You could see where my rash had been for a few weeks but it was t blistered or weepy for that long. My GP told me as long as it was covered (before it had dried) that I wouldn't contaminate anyone!

My 2 year old had it (different time) and the rash was on her leg. Was told it was perfectly okay to send her to nursery as long as she was wearing leggings (again, rash was dry before she went in but it wasn't stipulated that it had to be as long as it was covered).

In your shoes I would go but kindly ask FIL not to cuddle the newborn as a precaution. His rash will be dry by now.

Tink1990 · 23/12/2018 20:40

I wouldnt go. Sorry. I would be apologetic but explain its just not worth the risk.

MadeForThis · 23/12/2018 20:47

Why take the chance. I'm sure he wouldn't want to risk spreading it to the baby either.

ShesABelter · 23/12/2018 20:49

Well we have just come back from my mother in laws who informed us whilst there she has shingles whilst sitting cuddling into my five year old whose never had chicken pox. I know he has to have it sometimes nut it's his bday in a couple of weeks and my husband's self employed and got a big tax bill end of January so neither of us can afford to be off work.

M0reGinPlease · 23/12/2018 20:51

Not a chance I'd be going with a newborn.

dementedpixie · 23/12/2018 20:51

Was your MILs rash covered? If so, it's unlikely to pass on chicken pox

jessstan2 · 23/12/2018 20:52

He will probably be OK ShesABelter, I doubt she was rubbing your little one against her rash. Relax.

fluffymrray · 23/12/2018 20:54

Covered or not, absolutely no chance I'd risk a newborn with that. Our friends 8month old was recently hospitalised due to chicken pox, it was awful.

Original poster
Bobthebuildercanhefixit · 23/12/2018 21:56

To answer the questions:

No the rash isn’t open and weepy.
Doctor told him it can take up to 30 days to fully heal but assume it’s not infectious until up to this time.
Yes, it’s covered as it’s on his torso.
I’m sure FIL has ok personal hygiene, never really considered it! He smells clean and looks tidy, so never had any reason to think otherwise.
Baby is 6 weeks, toddler is 18 months.

I am grateful for replies, thank you.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 23/12/2018 22:06

If they are scabbed he is no longer infectious. Also his torso will be covered.

Original poster
Bobthebuildercanhefixit · 23/12/2018 22:27

My concern is around things like him scratching/touching his rash, then touching something we might touch. Toddlers aren’t known for their hygiene- especially mine! That said, I’m wondering if DH should take big DC and I stay home with little one. I don’t know. I’d be upset to miss out but devastated if I knowingly put my small baby at risk. I know the risk is small but I don’t know if its negligible.

OP posts:
Rosalise · 23/12/2018 22:31

My daughter caught chicken pox from someone with shingles and lost the hearing in one ear. It's rare but the specialist said he saw many cases of it.

OneMoreWish · 23/12/2018 22:32

Check nhs I looked at it other day- yes five days after blisters appear not infectious but someone else could get it and take 1-3 weeks for their spots to appear... I didn't go to family do because relative child had chicken pox and I'm in early pregnancy

I don’t want to go to in laws because of shingles
I don’t want to go to in laws because of shingles
dementedpixie · 23/12/2018 22:32

If they have scabbed then there are no fluid filled blisters to pass on chicken pox. Does he often stick his hand up his jumper to scratch himself?

dementedpixie · 23/12/2018 22:34

The transmission of chicken pox from shingles is through contact with fluid from the blisters. It is not airborne like chicken pox would spread