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Original poster

Strange interaction- what was it about?

13 replies

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/12/2018 12:13

I don’t want to be outing so i’ll be vague about some details. Im a regular poster and happy for HQ to confirm this.

I met someone recently who I knew as a teenager but haven’t really seen for years. It wasn’t a social occasion so no alcohol involved and not a “fun” event where everyone was having banter. While standing with a group that included this person (and my mother!) she asked me if I was seeing anyone, I said I wasn’t and the conversation went as follows;

Her: “what, NO-ONE?”
Me: “er, yeah, no-one”
Her: “why not?”
Me: “oh i don’t really have time to be seeing anyone, what would I want a man for anyway?”
Her: “for your hole!”
Me:
Her: “you can’t tell me there’s been NO-ONE? Everyone needs someone”

At this point the person nearest us was looking really uncomfortable and I tried to change the subject asking the rude woman if she was seeing someone which she was so I asked about him, what he worked at, how long they’d been dating etc but she turned it back into me.

Her: “get on tinder”
Me: “ oh I’ve been on that but it never came to anything”
Her: “are you a lesbian? It’s fine with me if you are!”
Me: “erm, no, but thanks for outing me to my mother if I was”
Her: “it’s okay if you are, you know me, I just say it as it is”
Me: “yes I can see that”

And then I just started talking about something completely different to others in the group. The rest of the group had been chatting between themselves and I don’t think they heard the interaction other than the uncomfortable woman beside me.

It was very weird. It has dawned on me just today that it felt very much like a creepy horny man who was trying to flirt by being really vulgar. But this person has zero sexual interest in me so it wasn’t that. But what was it? I don’t think it was actually about me at all or was it? Is it very strange that a woman in her thirties with two children and a full time job is single? I’ve been asked by other people if I’m seeing anyone and when I say no they leave it at that. Why was this person so adamant that I should have a penis for my vagina?

OP posts:

SlowNorris · 23/12/2018 12:19

But what was it?

Nothing.

SpoonBlender · 23/12/2018 12:30

Some people are idiots. Let it go, move on.

Coffeebean76 · 23/12/2018 16:41

She was drunk and obnoxious. Anyone who says ‘I just say it as it is’ is best avoided even when they’re sober.

ALongHardWinter · 23/12/2018 16:52

Some people (usually women for some reason) just don't seem able to accept that some women are perfectly happy without a man in their life. I've had a a couple of similar experiences to this since my divorce many years ago. I've come to the conclusion that there are quite a few women out there who only feel truly valued if there is a man in their life. Strange but true........

Grace212 · 23/12/2018 16:58

I'm single
occasionally have experienced similar
some people were sober when they went in for this line of questioning

it's horrible but just forget about it and move on. they are the pathetic ones.

IncomingCannonFire · 23/12/2018 17:09

She sounds like a rude twat. Not even off her tits to justify the weirdness. I can see why you didn't keep in contact with her.

Original poster

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/12/2018 17:57

Hi thanks for the responses. I realise this seems like nothing but it did embarrass me and I was just trying to work out whether I am actually the weird one for being single or if this woman is just a sex obsessive or something. To clarify she wasn’t drunk. I find it slightly comforting to hear others have experienced this odd line of questioning. I don’t get it. Who cares that much about someone else’s sex life? Anyway, I shall forget about it. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:

Grace212 · 23/12/2018 18:07

yes, and her terminology....

I did once have a woman ask me "you don't even do online dating for like.....sports?"

Theconifers25 · 23/12/2018 18:11

Your overthinking this. It was just a person without tact asking about your love life.

BerylStreep · 23/12/2018 18:18

Well she clearly has crap social skills.

I'd let it go, but give her a massive swerve if you ever come across her again. Is it likely that you will see her again?

I used to have a friend like this. She was horrified that I wasn't in a relationship and I got to hear that she often mused to others that she thought I was a lesbian (and not in a good way). It really said more about her than me.

Grace212 · 23/12/2018 18:24

@Theconifers25 "It was just a person without tact asking about your love life"

it's more than lack of tact though. Or is it now socially acceptable for a complete stranger to say "but what about your hole?" !!

Original poster

ILoveMaxiBondi · 23/12/2018 19:15

Yes probably am over thinking it.

It’s possible I’ll See her again but I’ll be better prepared and have an escape plan ready so I can avoid her.

It really was more than just nosiness about my love life. I’ve had that before, people generally accept I’m single and that’s it. She was really insistent that I couldn’t possibly not be having sex and that I needed to be having sex.

OP posts:

Grace212 · 23/12/2018 19:32

"She was really insistent that I couldn’t possibly not be having sex and that I needed to be having sex."

yes, it is awful when someone is so personal, I think. I have had one person ask me if I tell my neighbours when I expect to be home - because I don't have a man to look after me!! - but that freaked me out less than the woman who said "don't you do online dating for sport".

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