How should I have dealt with this?

[happy2bhomely]

I work in the leisure/hospitality industry in a predominately male environment. I work with a mix of men and women. I say this because it is expected that we tolerate a certain amount of 'banter' from customers. A lot of it can be quite sexist, but I don't feel harassed or anything.

A couple of weeks ago I had just finished setting up for a function (21st birthday party) and was handing over to the next shift. A male colleague (35 yrs old) commented that he was glad to be working the shift because of the 'talent'. He was referring to the birthday girl and her friend. I rolled my eyes and he said something about only admiring etc.

Then a second male colleague (a manager) the same age chipped in.

It went like this,

Colleague: I'm only admiring from a distance.
Arse: As long as they bleed, they're fair game eh?
Colleague: What?
Arse: You know, as long as they are old enough to bleed, then fair enough.
Me: Did you actually just say what I think you said?
Arse: Yeah. Don't you get it? I said as long as they're old enough to be bleeding, then they're old enough for him.
Me: Yeah, I get it. I just hoped I'd heard you wrong.
Arse: You get it don't ya?
Colleague: Erm yeah.
Arse: I said...
Me: I can't believe you think it's ok to say that. Can you please stop.
Arse: Woah. Sorry didn't mean to offend. It's only a joke. I've heard you can't take a joke. You're a bit sensitive, aren't you!
Me: Really? Ok. I'm off. See ya.

The next morning I reported this to my general manager. He said he was shocked but it sounded like childish humor more suited to the pub and he's sure the guy didn't mean anything by it. Nothing more has been said.

I have requested not to work any more shifts with him but I can't help but feel something else should have happened. Am I overreacting and is this just 'banter'?

I'd point out that 9 year olds can 'bleed' and do they think that's acceptable?

I think it's why it upset me. I have 2 daughters who are 'bleeding' and both under 15. We also work with children and teens and it just shocked me so much that someone would say it, especially in front of a female colleague.

I'd tell anyone that would listen that arse tolds you that he thinks having sex with ten year olds is ok.

That's a disgusting thing to say and should be taken more seriously

In "The Worst Book I Ever Read" (Wilbur Smith for anyone interested) the author describes every female and her breasts and whether or not she's started her periods (which he calls "Red Moons". As in "she had not yet seen her first red moon") the moment a female character starts menstruating they are immediately "adult" and fully formed sexual beings. The "good" characters have sex but with limited partners. The "bad" ones sleep around.

I got ticked off on here a few weeks ago by saying I'd thrown this book out of a train window, but having it in my possession made me feel soiled!

Sorry for the derail. I think what your colleague said is atrocious. And I hope they respect your request to never have to work with him again. I think you handled it very well.