Have you had a 3rd child and regretted it?

[50ShadesOfCrayCray]

As the title says really.
I'm happy with 2 dc but haven't completely ruled out a third. I have some friends who have 3 and say that although the dynamic of the family changes massively (more so from 1 to 2 in their experience) they don't regret having number 3. I'm sure no one 'regrets' having a child but to those with 3, do you regret not stopping at 2? (Taking the actual child out of the equation?)

Nope I love being a mummy to 3 x

My third turned out to be third and fourth. You are warned.

Third is the straw that broke the camels back. Love her, and the 4th but it was having a third that made our lives difficult as well as she turned out to be a difficult child.

DC3 completed our family. Yes it's work but now they are at school it's a lovely stage.

Yes. She's a really difficult child and I've run out of energy from the other 2 to deal with her properly. Straw, camel, as above.

We almost have a third, but since the youngest is at school I'm now so relieved we're past that stage. We definitely made the right decision to stop.

A friend has (a very gorgeous) third and its confirmed that we dont want to go back there!

Yep!

Bloody adore the child. She's an absolute angel, she lights up a room, she's cute ad a button and I've never known a 3 year old so painfully polite and we'll behaved.

BUT, our eldest two are 10 and 12. The 3 year old affects the entire dynamic daily. We can't go to theme parks, days out, cinema, and the cost of holidays is horrific. We've just had to shell out 5 figures on a holiday that would have been half the cost for a standard family of 4.

Things just don't gel as well. It's not easy. Good job we all live her with all our hearts and can see light at the end of the tunnel!

Think very, very carefully.

Sometimes I daydream about how comfortable and easy life would be with two. We’ve made our choices and have no regrets, love our gang, but without a doubt, god, life would have been so much easier. 3 was what threw it into chaos.

I've changed my mind. She keeps giving me the best koala cuddles I've ever had. She's just perfect. I can't regret her.

Maybe I'll have a 4th

Monkeyface, she needs an age buddy. 😂 Go for it. My 4th is a year old. As I always say to people, there’s nothing higher than 100% stress and we were already there on #3 so she’s made no difference.

I do think I need an 'accident' soon

39 weeks with my third so will let you know

At the start ( I had them all close to together), because I'm on my own a lot and it was hellish.

But now I absolutely wouldn't change it for anything. They are all young enough and close enough in age that it works out well. Had conception taken longer though, and left too much of an age gap between first and second, I wouldn't have had a third.

I am of the camel’s back brigade. Love him, but he is our tricky child as well. If I could chose again (with no knowledge of him and how much we would love him etc) I don’t think I would. That said I would not change him for the world (well perhaps a bit less stubborn and hard work).

Yep. Love all my children to bits but in hindsight should have stuck with 2. It is so much more expensive for food, activities, days out. Holidays are designed for families of 4. Cars are a pain and cramped for family days out. At one point I had them all at different schools so logistical nightmare.

Also one is always the scapegoat or feels left out, or doesn't fit in. Very rare that they all get on at the same time.

Mine are 9 and teens btw.

Number three arrived together with numbers 1 and 2 for us so there wasn't much of a choice. I was positively surprised about the dynamics of 3 when I had been convinced that 2 or 4 would have been best.
However, in terms of practical things, do consider if you are willing to go the extra mile: car, holidays etc

I have a friend who always wanted 4 children. She had her third and said it broke her -mentally, physically and emotionally - so decided to stop there!

My third is a terror at only 6 months old

Bloody adorable and lovable, but definitely the worst one

I don't think anyone regrets having a child once they're here, but I had no idea how draining a 3rd would be.

We love him with all our hearts, but we both agree that the sensible thing (for us anyway) would have been to stop at 2.

Although, I think it massively depends on other things like your finances, if your family help out with babysitting etc.
My friend has 4 and the grandparents regularly take them, even overnight I'm a bit jealous

My friend got pregnant when her 1st was 3 and then ended up with Irish twins with 8 months between them (pregnant 1st period and 3rd baby born early). She said it was actually easier for her because they were at such close stages so she wasn't going back to square 1. (She said baby no.2 was hard work because she felt like she had waited too long and had to go right back to the start all while having a child in nursery who was at completely different stages and needed 1 on 1 time which she couldn't give) Also made her days easier to cope with 2 similar ages kids while her eldest was at school. She said having the 2 napping/eating etc at the same ish times gave her more structure to plan her days so she could spend enough time with dc1. Whereas 1 baby needs all your attention, she could leave child 2&3 to entertain each other.

I love 3
He's a terror but really makes the family. The older two often fall out but they both get on well with #3 so it works. I dont find 3 any harder than 2 tbh, and there's the same age gap
I found 0-1 hardest, then 1-2. 2-3 was a breeze!

However he's only 2.5 so I may change my mind!

It's hard to really contemplate it once they are here as I wouldn't change it now I love them, but I do think it really does shift things and makes everything harder. I do sometimes (often) day dream about how much easier life would have been with 2, but I think it's more to do with the fact that I've had 3 close together and I'm just so sick of dealing with the trials that little children bring. I'm ready for the next phase but this one seems to be lasting forever. That, and the fact that there always seems to be one child that is unhappy about something, or waking in the night/early or ill. It's exhausting both mentally and physically.
I'm glad we did it because I know when I have 3 adult children I will be glad I have them, and they have each other but it's hard at the moment. Maybe after a full nights sleep I'll feel better! I do sometimes day dream about a 4th but I think it would kill me!

I do like the fact that it forces us to have more 1-1 time with them all though as when we had 2 we tended to group them together at all times but now we tend to divide and conquer and change things up so they all get time with each parent/sibling. They are 3 individuals.

Third child broke down my marriage, derailed my career and I haven't recovered from the trauma 8 years down the line. She is also my most difficult child.

I adore her obvs but if I could turn back time...

At the start ( I had them all close to together), because I'm on my own a lot and it was hellish. But now I absolutely wouldn't change it for anything.

This was my experience too, especially as #2 forgot how to sleep not long after #3 was born, and neither of them relearnt for quite a long time. They're all teens now and it's surprisingly wonderful.

Also my eldest ended up deciding to go to boarding school, so I'm really glad we have a third as the youngest two are such good company for each other. Neither of them has any plans to leave home before college thank goodness.

Someone I worked with had a third, and THEN realised that they couldn't fit 2 car seats plus a baby seat in the back of the car. SIL had a third at age 40 and was so bloody knackered all the time, she really regretted it. Having said that, obviously there will be plenty of parents who loved having a 3rd.