Sister living in a tip

[Realitea]

My sisters house is a tip. There is stuff everywhere, all over the kitchen table, all up the stairs and covering every surface and the floor. It’s dirty aswell and she has a cat which adds to the dirt. Rubbish is piled up in the kitchen and her baby doesn’t have a bedroom as it’s full of stuff belonging to my sisters dh.
All the family are concerned for her and when we offer to help she gets cross. Her dh does nothing to help.
They keep their curtains closed all day so people can’t see in and it’s really unhealthy for the baby.
Despite her living ten minutes from me she won’t let me or anyone for that matter, in to the house. So she must feel embarrassed about it. She never visits any of us and seems closed off to everyone. She was like this before the baby was born too. It all happened when she met her now dh.
Who can I speak to, to get her some help? Or get her to wake up to the seriousness of this. I see it as an accident just waiting to happen.

If she is in rented accomodation (private or council) then she is likely to be in breach of her tenancy.

If she has a hoarding problem then she could see her GP to get it documented, and then if in council housing, contact them, as they are usually supportive in helping people to get their place habitable, rather than evicting. If the living accommodation is unsafe for the baby, then social services need to be informed, and would then support them to get it sorted and cleaned.

Sorry, re-reading it sounds like her DH who may have a hoarding problem. Same steps apply, but if he refuses to get help then she needs to take responsibility for keeping the baby safe.

Ask the NSPCC what you should do? I would have thought they will say these parents need reporting to social services.

Op you've all tried and had no joy. I'd pass it on to social services. Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility

You can pass your concerns directly to SS or via NSPCC. You could always contact her health visitor too if you know their name.

You need to be contacting ss on behalf of that poor baby. What will happen when their mobile and at risk of stuff toppling on them or touching something dangerous?

That’s what I thought. When it’s older it’ll be pulling at things and things will fall. The stairs are a big hazard. Clutter all up them. She owns the house, she’s very professional at work that’s why it’s so strange that her living arrangements are so crazy. It’s definitely her dh who is the hoarder. My poor mum went over here to clean once and her dh went crazy because she had moved something of his and he couldn’t find it! So she hasn’t helped again. The bathrooms are pretty vile.
I do know her health visitor. Maybe that’s the best first step to take

The HV would be a great first step and refer on if needed rather than you having to be the one to call ss.

I see people advising to talk to HV a lot on here and wonder what they think the HV will do. Other than the issue of resources, the HV will not contact the person in question unless they ask for support or it is a scheduled contact time - the have no jurisdiction to and will likely advise you to contact social care if you are concerned. If social care have concerns then they can refer to health visitor.

What does Dsis say if you raise it with her? Any chance her or partner are depressed?

Ok- different perspective. Stop discussing sister amongst yourselves (even with the best intentions). How about arranging to meet your sister and baby outside of house at a place she's comfortable with...a soft play area/ care. Try not to judge. Be there for her and don't immediately share everything she says with the rest of the family. Try to get her on side.
Try and see her life objectively. Some of the things you describe sound worse than others.. having curtains closed don't harm baby (providing they do get fresh air/ sunlight/ go outside).
How old is baby? Are they just choosing to go sleep? Obviously cat poo left around house is a big problem. It's difficult to know from your message how bad things are...is it possible you have different standards but hers are Ok? Not saying This is the case...something to think about. I have a friend who thinks people who don't change their sheets twice a week are disgusting. We all have different standards.
Could you try and let your sister know you love her/ aren't just trying to pry...can you help her....don't treat her like she's messed up or is a bad mother. More just that you know what it's like being a mum n want to treat her. See if she will let u tidy up a bit. Focus on basics. Empty bins. Stair way clear. Bathroom clean and kitchen. If that's doable.