It feels like the whole world is going to see relatives over Christmas and for the second year running, we're not.
My Mum's house is tiny and when she's filled it with local family members (who live within walking distance mostly) there's little room left for a family of five (or four if adult teen stays behind)
We live 250 miles away, so an overnight stay at least is required (and she's annoyed if we stay in a hotel)
She says we don't visit often enough, but when we suggested going up a month or so ago for a weekend, she was 'busy' (she wasn't busy, according to my sister, she likes plenty of advance notice for a visit, despite the fact that my siblings visit daily and have keys to let themselves in and out) She hasn't been here for a few years, says it's too far.
Visits at Xmas are usually fraught with arguments as Mum likes to drink too much and start shouting at me for being the crap daughter who lives at the other end of the country. Neither of my teens want to visit much at all (they don't like the atmosphere and when my teen currently doing GCSEs brought GCSE work to our last visit, Mum said this was very rude and shouted about it)
I just feel sad that I don't have a normal relationship with family up there (dh's Mum and Dad are dead but we do see his siblings)
The visits we do make are fraught with tension. I dread them and walk on eggshells the whole time. I have a very surface relationship with my Mum because opening up to her isn't a good idea. She stores any weakness about my kids or me as future ammo, so I tell her very little.
I just feel sad about it. Facebook is awash with people who have normal family bonds and I want some of that too.