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Xmas present quandary

2 replies

Jocasta2018 · 20/12/2018 22:36

Firstly a bit of background.

I bought a flat with my partner nearly 6 years ago. Whilst I was able to come up with 50%, my partner could only put in 10% and was looking to get a mortgage. My mother stepped in and paid the remaining 40%. There was an agreement between them, drawn up by her solicitor, that he would repay Mum on a monthly basis into a designated bank account. This repayment would be interest-free. On the event of sale, his new percentage would be worked out.

When the flat was sold, he had paid my mother £40k in total and with the rise in both his % of the flat and house prices, he walked away with £70k.

My mother is now in a dementia care home. I have control of her finances. Every year, for Xmas and birthday, before she became ill, she used to give my partner £50 gift voucher. I have continued this and write a card for her which she signs. He would give her gift vouchers back or we would buy some clothes for her, him putting in some cash towards them.

I'll be seeing Mum on Christmas Day and have started putting her presents bags ready to take in. He brought over her present and said 'it's a tin of biscuits, I thought she'd like them as she's got a sweet tooth'. At no point has he mentioned anything else, going halves on clothing for her, a voucher for online clothes shop I get things from for her, etc which is what usually happens.

If this is truly all he has given her (and I've checked out his Xmas card, I can't feel cash or gift card), how should I react? WWYD? Should I remind him of my mother's generosity? It's leaving a bit of a bad taste in my mouth to be honest... Is he being a CF?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 20/12/2018 23:03
Hmm

I don't see what the issue is.
The whole loan for the flat was what it was. It has nothing to do with Christmas presents.
Your Mum is in a dementia care home - I can't see why you feel she needs lots of new clothes or handfuls of money. You say yourself she has had to give you control over her money - it no longer means anything to her.
I actually think a box of biscuits is probably a pretty nice present in her circumstances.
I don't understand why you are asking WWYD? Confused
I would take the present to her.

FeatherStrong · 22/12/2018 19:26

The loan was repaid. The debt ended.

Stop gift giving to him tho. Just write a card. Their not in a close friendship or in-laws

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