How do I become a competent cook?

[KateGrey]

If I hear one more word from my mother about cooking I might scream or cry. I hate cooking. I have three kids (10,7,5) and cooked a lot when they were small but the younger two have special needs and have sensory issues relating to food. My mum is on my case constantly that I should be cooking their Christmas lunch (it’s the one meal a year she invites us too and we never ask she offers). They come over for takeaways as my dad is quite fussy so only time she gets a curry or Chinese is with us. I cook a very limited amount of things because of the kids (though they eat a lot of veg). But cooking stresses me out. I have adhd so find planning and following a recipe hard. I haven’t told my mum about me having adhd as I am already made to feel I don’t measure up - her friends kids are all great and are off doing exciting things. I’m a sahm as I can’t work because I can’t leave the kids in any before or after school care and wouldn’t want to.

How do I improve my cooking? Just the thought panics me as I know my younger two most likely won’t eat any of what I cook and my eldest has coeliac disease so we have to be very careful around what he has.

Any books or websites that would help a nervy cook?

You don't have to cook just because your mother tells you to. She's no longer the boss of you!
However, it's a useful skill and a pleasure once you do it by choice.
You make stuff you like, for far less cost.
You have control over the family diet.
Far less waste too.
Start with simple things and then try more complicated ones.

I learned to cook from books. Delia Smith does a complete learn to cook one.
But other ( younger) people will no doubt have more up to date suggestions.

I would focus on simple recipes rather than one particular book. Tray bakes are good as you can cook everything in he oven, together or separately (depending on the food and what type of fussy eaters you have ) and you don't have all the coordinating so everything is ready at the same time, which for me is the most stressful bit with kids underfoot.

I also like stews as you can do those well in advance and then just reheat - and cook something like potatoes or rice to go with it while it heats up. Or even do a stew which has potatoes in as well as veg and meat, and then you might just want some bread.

Basically, I would focus on ways to take the pressure off - because it is a learned skill, even for those who don't have the added complications you have.