Advice please - sorry, this is quite long.
I have been working with a new colleague for a few months now and am finding him incredibly difficult. I have now been asked to input to his end of probation review and really have nothing positive to say. On the technical side, his work is sloppy and he seems to lack the basic competencies required for the role. He is also a difficult character - he is unwilling to receive feedback/ask questions, particularly from me. I suspect this is because I am a level junior to him (although I have been in this team for a couple of years whereas he has moved from quite a different role externally so it would be natural to ask questions of me while he adjusts). I can only assume that he is threatened by me as he undermines me by not copying me on emails I should receive or inviting me to meetings I should attend and he will often cut across me when I try to speak in meetings.
I have always received positive feedback about my performance but I have enjoyed my role much less since he joined. Realistically if he stays I will want to move role as I cannot see myself continuing to work in these circumstances. I have tried to resolve these issues myself in a number of ways - I really do believe that I have tried my hardest to be open minded, helpful and welcoming. I have never had this kind of issue with colleagues previously. I have also mentioned my difficulties with him to my manager, who has not been hugely helpful as he expected us to 'resolve our differences' amongst ourselves. However, if I go into the level of detail above at his end of probation review, I expect my manager will take my feedback seriously as I work most closely with the new man and I have been lead to believe that they see me as an asset and are keen to retain me.
Most of me thinks that I should tell the truth about my experiences of working with him in a calm and measured way and that any negative consequences are of his own making. However, I am worried that this will cause him to lose his job (in particular, I do not think the competence issues can be easily solved) and I am really struggling to get past my feelings of guilt /anxiety about that potential outcome. He is the sole earner in his family and has three young children. Has anyone been in a similar position? What would you do?