Quirky lonesome mums unite here!

[JohnMcCainsDeathStare]

Perhaps I ought to have posted this in Special Needs but this is a thread where those of us who don't have that many real life friends and are not sure why can hang out here.
So if you found it hard to make friends stick in real life maybe we can get them to stick here.

As for me - I do have friends but don't often see them and those I do are mostly thanks to DH. I work in STEM and like doing stuff like outdoor pursuits, obstacle course races and video games. I am also a massive SCI-Fi nerd as well and that my nerdity is part of how I work for a living. I also have two equally quirky small boys as well.

BTW don't feel you have to be quirky to join this thread, this is a place to go of you're feeling lonely and want to day hi

Can I come? I unfortunately lack any quirkiness so resisted posting sooner, but it seems that’s ok?
I have a grand total of zero friends having misguidedly stopped initiating contact 14 years ago to weed out those that weren’t true friends. I was left with one, who emigrated 13 years ago and sadly died 2 years ago. I hadn’t seen him since he moved abroad and spoke about 3 times a year, but he was always my best friend.
I’m very shy and naturally socially awkward but mask it so well I apparently come across as “sweet” and “lovely” but “scary” and “intimidating”... basically not someone anyone would choose to spend time with, even though I’ve lots of acquaintances. 4dc, a full time job and huge insecurity massively impact on my opportunity to socialise even if I was invited anywhere (not that I have been for 10 years plus!)
I’d love some friends, though I suspect I might be hard to get on with!

God, sorry if that sounded self-pitying! Didn’t mean to!

I feel your pain. I have also come across as scary ans intimidating. I have ASD though ans have always been seen as a but wierd though.

And you're right about ( now ex) friends. It's revealing how much actions can be different from words. In my case I think I suffer from no one listens to the listener. People pour their hearts out to me but them moment I appear to have a life less than awesome or am not a godlike omniscient being they go strangely deaf.

Thing is I wonder if ' intimidating' and 'scary' people are people who despite life are comfortable in their own skin and this throws some people- since many socially successful people clearly aren't.

Haha, wouldn’t say I’m that comfortable! I’m quite painfully aware of all my flaws. I think that’s where the shyness comes from- I’m terrified of appearing boring or stupid!
I do come across that way though: lots of people comment along the lines of how easy it is for me with my perfect life (including while going through a messy divorce, no friends, house a tip... obviously they wouldn’t know any of this as they’d never ask/ know little about me!/ are just vague acquaintances!)
I think I seem much more together than I am, and tend not to want to bore acquaintances with my stuff!

Actually, not sure where they get the impression about my life. I’m never immaculately turned out, have a career but a low paid one, dc are amazing but only in the same way everyone’s are to them, average house, constantly treading water basically! Maybe my fake confidence to hide the awkwardness is too much!

I'm not sure either. I am confident in my own skin but also have an existential fear of being unmasked as serenade person who knows very little when in actual fact I am an expert in severe science things (apparently?).

Thing is I am so used to be g seen as a strange gonky but at the same time oddly threatening since my age was I single digits that it's something I accepted as a part of me.

They people who are fond of me say that I am awesome but I seldom get to see them. They do say I am perhaps a bit too 'real' for some since I generally don't do things I don't want to do if I don't have to do them and show resistance to anything that doesn't seem to make any logical sense.

Well, I think you sound exactly like the sort of person I’d choose as a friend. I’d rather more people were “real”. It seems like a lot of people have a skill set around not being, which I’d find too tiring/ difficult myself. Plus you seem really intelligent, interesting and self aware.

I have recently been diagnosed with EUPD and don't trust my reaction to anything anymore. It makes relationships very tough

Thing is people who are my friends and they have a wide range of backgrounds admire me for being loyal and straightforward. I don't think I'm rude but I am blunt. As you can guess that goes down well in a job interview - even for a STEM position.

My friends have a weird demographic - there are a few mum friends but the few remaining Uni friends i have are mostly men and also older men I've met through work - not many women but accident rather than design. I find both sexes hard to read. Men can appear more straightforward but they really aren't. If you don't think men don't get self conscious around younger, more attractive men then your're not living in the real world or have never done LARP.

How's everyone doing this 2nd week in January?
I'm OK but suffering a bad dose of weltschmerz considering that the new President of Brazil seems content to destroy the rainforest...

But good news is I have a presentation forming just in time for my conference in America.

Anyone else finding SAD gets them down? For me its the mood swings that get me and I snap at people. I need to meditate - anxiety really kills my sleep.
Got to check flight details, print stuff out and have presentatio version one. Also need to thrash out tactics with my boss for the coming spring re proposals and all those other shenanigans.

How's everyone else? Anyone else think that British winters are THE WORSE!?