I really struggle to understand this and I wondered if anyone had a clue what it's all about?
It makes me sad to be writing this about him, but the person I'm thinking of is my brother.
He's 27 and finally moving out. He's been a burden on my parents for years, owing them money, leaving piles of pots after cooking, leaving things dirty. He also has his bedroom cleaned, washing and ironing done, and while I know this is my mums fault (and I tell her this) he has a sense of entitlement about it all and gets angry when I call him out.
My parents are lovely, they want the best for both of us, want good relationships with us and are just generally good to us.
I'm close to my parents and I've posted before about my brother who just doesn't seem to want to spend time with us at all.
He'd rather avoid us completely and often questions get one word half arsed answers. If you get half a smile out of him it's the best day of his life.
He's had a gambling (and therefore debt) problem since he was about 18-20. We only know this because of what ex girlfriends have witnessed and told us such as putting £100 in a machine (forgot their name!) up town and shaking when watching the racing. His Twitter is 99% gambling related too.
He denies it entirely and makes out he just spends too much. My mum could always tell when he was in deep trouble as he'd come home from work as white as a sheet and collapse on the bed and sleep for hours.
Sometimes I wonder whether the addiction is why he's selfish or whether it's just who he is?
He never makes a fuss or comment about anything in life. It's like he just doesn't care, the only time he speaks is when he has a new girlfriend or something exciting about himself. He doesn't get excited for me for example, even when my son was born I got the bare minimum said to me.
I don't remember him being particularly nice prior to the addiction to be honest but maybe it took over and stopped him growing up as he should? I think he was a regular moody teenager and now as an adult I can't decide whether he's just a selfish arsehole or severely depressed. A part of me suspects the first.
It isn't like he has a terrible life either, he has a fantastic job, friends, lovely girlfriends, a family that adores him and everything else!
He is very popular amongst friends and they wouldn't believe how he is around family. He also changes into a different person around my son and will have fun with him. But for some reason my parents and I get nothing, we'd love for him to be a proper part of the family but he excludes himself and it feels like he doesn't want us. The only time he wants me is if he needs a lift or to borrow money, I no longer do either for him so he no longer contacts me. Completely selfish.
I just don't know whether maybe something bad happened to him to make him this way or whether he just doesn't care about any of us? I wish more than anything I could understand what goes on in his head because he worries me and my parent sick at times.
I suppose nobody has the answer but him. but any sort of insight would be much appreciated!