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Buying high quality

14 replies

NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 17/12/2018 21:13

So I’m currently having a disagreement with my mum and sister about my insistnace on buying things that are high qualit, even though they may occasionally cost more. I’m a full time student, I have a low income (student maintenance loan) high rent (thank you student properties) and I get the highest daily living allowance and lowest mobility allowance from PIP (Personal Infepence Payment). I don’t smoke or take drugs and I drink (get drunk) once every couple of months at home with my flat mates because it’s cheaper than going out. I try to shop local and buy cheap but ethically sourced, farmers and harvested foods because I want to not because I need to which means I meal plan and have a lot of meatless meals.

They can sort of understand why I buy particular types of food for eithical reasons but they really don’t understand why I’d pay more money for a coat or a pair of shoes when I can get similar in primark, which I get they see me paying a lot for a coat when I have a limited income and it looks ‘wrong’ whereas I feel that buying better quality boots and shoes or coats, things that I’ll use daily is more cost effective than buying multiple pairs over time because the poor quality means they’ll fall apart in weeks rather than in a couple of years. Which means I’m spending just as much if not more money on the same thing than if I’d just bought a decent one to begin with.

OP posts:
NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 17/12/2018 21:14

Adding on that they’re quite happy for me to buy high quality stuff for them or that they can use or borrow because it’s nicer and not broken.

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mortifiedmama · 17/12/2018 21:38

I think it depends. If it's coat you'll replace every year (i.e. a 'fashion coat') then I think spending loads for better quality is a little silly. but if it's something that you plan to wear day in day out over a longer time period then a quality item makes sense.

I think both cheap (in quality and price) has its place but skimping can cost more in the long run.

My mum is terrible for buying cheap shit, she doesn't see how buying a £10 pair of winter boots which last 3 months is more expensive than buying a £50 pair that lasts 3 years.

safariboot · 17/12/2018 21:47

The saying goes, "buy cheap, buy twice". I quit shopping at Primark because it's junk that falls apart. That said of course a high pricetag is no guarantee of quality!

Obviouspretzel · 17/12/2018 21:58

If more people had your philosophy, then as a society we would waste far less.

To be honest it sort of sounds like they want to keep you in your place.

NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 17/12/2018 22:35

@mortifiedmama, oh yeah I’m all for high quality but cheap things if I can get them 😂 love a bargain and often buy in sales, don’t do fashion coats and things I like practical so my coat is a woollen navey duffle coat that’ll be worn till it comes apart. But most of my pjs and graphic tees I wear to uni of with kids work are cheap and cheerful from primark or supermarkets. ASDA pjs are lovely and soft usually decent quality and as cheap as primark.

@safariboot, I do a lot of research and read a lot of reviews and shop around before I buy anything online and when I go instore i check seams and fabrics before I purchase. I can’t afford to buy the same thing multiple times. It’s more cost effective to save and buy decent and if I can wait for it I’ll wait for the sales.

@Obviouspretzel, I doubt that because they can’t afford to buy nice things either. Mum doesn’t see the point of buying nice unless it’s a special occasion, the sister I’m disagreeing with has no disposable income at all and the oldest one doesn’t spend money at all because her and her partner are very tight with money, the next one down always complains about having no money but then goes out and buys a load of cheap tat that breaks or falls apart and the next one buys mainly high quaility or branded clothing because she likes it and can afford it. I never question how they all spend there money or why they buy what they do but they all quiz me on why I want it, why I need it and why I’m waisting more money than necessary when I can buy something cheaply. Which fair enough sometimes things cost more than they should but for example last year because I’m careful I save a lot of money and often have a disposable income to play with or save (I really need to start saving I have nothing in my savings at the moment).

OP posts:
Jayfee · 17/12/2018 22:36

As the Danes say, buy well - buy once. It is greener.

NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 17/12/2018 22:39

@Obviouspretzel, I do hate waste though and I am in process of donating everything I’ve not used, touched or looked at in the past year to charity, (if it’s not something that I can regift as I’ve box/draw of readily available gifts for friends) as it’s in typically pristine quality and if it’s not it’s binned.

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FlibbertyGiblets · 17/12/2018 22:44

Just don't discuss it with them. Distract and divert the conversation. If they keep on well you got from ebay/charity shop, keep them off your back that way.

NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 17/12/2018 22:55

@FlibbertyGiblets tbh I never want to discuss money or my spending with them because I think finances ought to be private and it’s crass to ask unfortunately my family don’t feel the same way at all.

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FlibbertyGiblets · 17/12/2018 23:08

Hmmmm tricky.

I would be inclined to try the broken record - my finances are really not up for discussion thank you. Please can you stop.(repeat)

Then you would not be unreasonable to state that if they continue you'll have to leave. And do. Harsh but effective.

Good luck.

NameChangeToAvoidBeingFound · 18/12/2018 00:40

@FlibbertyGiblets, might work though. Though they may also use it as proof that since starting university I’ve turned into a snob, when in actuality I’ve learned the value of money and buying things that’ll last .

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tutu112 · 18/12/2018 01:42

Mortifiedmama - please excuse me if I missed your point, but your mum seems to make sense. £10 pair of boots that you wear for 3 months then have to chuck out (or relegate to gardening or dog walking use )each year ( winter season is 3 months. ) equals £30 total spent over 3 years. ( a new pair of £10 boots bought every year for 3 years)
£50 pair of boots last as you say , 3 years. Equals £50 total spent over 3 years, ignoring polish, reheeling or mending costs.
That still makes your mum £20 better off overall, no?

mortifiedmama · 18/12/2018 03:21

tutu112 she ends up buying 2 or 3 pairs a year (too damaged even for dog walking) October to may so £30 a year, £90 over 3 years. Sometimes more as she lives in Cumbria so they are pretty much a year round boot. She'd be much better off buying one decent pair of bootss.

MerryBear · 18/12/2018 03:30

Break things down into cost per wear. That really shows the difference.

My grandma used say “buy cheap, buy dear”.

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