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Original poster

Just lost my shit.

26 replies

cjt110 · 17/12/2018 19:13

..with DS(4). I feel like an utter cunt

I was never forced to eat food as a kid.

He asked for weetabix before bed and I said no he had potatoes to finish. He got upset and said he wanted weetabix. I gave in and gave him some. After a few mouthfuls he said he wasn't hungry now.

I got cross and said he had asked for them so would sit at the table til it was gone. he got upset so I shouted at him to get to bed.

Weve cuddled and I've apologised for shouting. He was sobbing his heart out telling DH I was cross at him.

What an arsehole I am...

OP posts:
HopeHopity · 17/12/2018 19:14

I was an arsehole this morning too 😔

Can we be guilty arseholes together?

KitKat1985 · 17/12/2018 19:15

Honestly that really doesn't sound that bad. I doubt there's many parents out there that haven't occasionally shouted at their kids when they are being PITAs.

ABitCrapper · 17/12/2018 19:16

I've been an arsehole with my toddler as well today, I really shouted at him and roughly snatched something out of his hand which pulled him over.
I put myself in time out to calm down and cuddled afterwards.

SnuggyBuggy · 17/12/2018 19:16

It's a tiring time of year for little kids. I expect you are both knackered.

BertandQueenieforever · 17/12/2018 19:16

You’re not an arsehole. Don’t beat yourself up, we’ve all done it. They reeeeeally test your patience don’t they!

Greggers2017 · 17/12/2018 19:17

I lost my shit at my 11 year old DD for leaving my kitchen that I'd just cleaned in a state. I'm pregnant, hormonal and poorly with a bad cold.
I felt so bad I've given her my hidden box of Ferrero rochet.
Can I come and sit on the crappy Mum Step too?

Jokes aside. We all do it from time to time, we can't be perfect.

HopeHopity · 17/12/2018 19:19

I was upset because he has been so difficult lately and I am poorly so I was raising my voice 😔
I am always so kind to him, he must have been so confused and worried 😔

Wotrewelookinat · 17/12/2018 19:23

We all do it. We all have bad days. Apologise, explain that you’re feeling tired/ill etc. It does no harm for our DCss to learn that we are human with feelings and emotions. What you can teach them is how to handle these emotions and to have the grace to admit when you’re wrong.

Deeedeeee · 17/12/2018 19:29

My DD (age 7) overheard our neighbour loudly telling off her DD (nearly 2) and putting her on the naughty step etc. She was shocked and said "mum you would never shout at me like that and I was never that naughty when I was little" - wrong on both counts! I definately lost it when she was at the tantrum stage, she was really annoying and it's impossible to stay calm all the time. BUT SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER.

HopeHopity · 17/12/2018 19:41

Thank you @Deeedeeee 😫 we are at the constant tantrum stage with my little one 😫

Original poster
cjt110 · 17/12/2018 19:41

I cuddled him, said I was worry for shouting and that I wouldn't shout again. He apologised to me for being mean (he said "thanks for nothing!" when he got into bed. No idea where hes got that from) and I let him fall asleep next to me on the sofa. Scooped him in to bed and tucked him in. Also apologised to DH for being an arsehole.

I made him cry. DS I mean and that's the worst bit.

Thanks for accompanying me on the arsehole mummy step.

I hate being cross. Im exhausted after a mad busy weekend as DH was working and also I have M.E.

OP posts:
HopeHopity · 17/12/2018 19:43

Oh OP I am so upset about it
His tantrums are constant and I wish I could promise to stay calm from now on, but...
Maybe I need a mantra
Help?!

Apileofballyhoo · 17/12/2018 19:46

Look what a really lovely mother you are to be so upset about a mistake you made. Flowers for you and for all of us because we've all done what we didn't mean to.

Original poster
cjt110 · 17/12/2018 19:47

Hope I found the toddler stage hard. You just have to switch off with tantrums. Go in the next room after checking they (and you)are safe. I have hidden myself in the bathroom, towel in mouth to muffle my cries/screams ... I think it gets easier as they are able to communicate better.

I'm soft with DS on stuff that doesn't matter. DH will say he needs to eat the potatoes but I'll give in and give him weetabix. I think I was more cross because I'd proven DH right.

OP posts:
GreyGardens88 · 17/12/2018 19:47

I'd put the weetabix in the fridge and make him have it for breakfast

Original poster
cjt110 · 17/12/2018 19:48

Apileofballywho Thank you.

I hate him being upset. Even more so when I'm the cause

OP posts:
ABitCrapper · 17/12/2018 19:48

Mine is constantly tantrumming as well, and destroying whatever his sisters try to do. I've taken to just ignoring the wailing and getting busy with a job as otherwise I get so frustrated. But the wilful distraction triggers rage in me that I find difficult to control, and I can't walk away from him or he will destroy more of their stuff. So I have to manhandle him etc.

Original poster
cjt110 · 17/12/2018 19:51

We'd be lost without them all wouldn't we...

Remember.. Like a PP said I'd we didnt care we wouldn't ne 'fessing up

We are only hoomans after all...

OP posts:
Deeedeeee · 17/12/2018 19:56

Hope I did a parenting course called the incredible years, supposedly to help with managing the behaviour of my DS who's now 11 - didn't help with him as it turned out his behaviour was due to autism, BUT it made me so much better at dealing with my DD when she got to the tantrum stage, lots of helpful strategies.

www.incredibleyears.com
There's a book too, by Carolyn Webster-stratton, could probably get from library.

HopeHopity · 17/12/2018 19:58

OP you are lovely Smile
Thanks @Deeedeeee I shall have a look
Smile

babyboyHarrison · 17/12/2018 19:58

You apologised for doing something wrong. That is teaching a good example. I know I'm not perfect and have shouted at my kids but always say sorry when I realise that my reaction wasn't fair. My 5 year old often says sorry now when he's done something wrong and realises he was wrong once he's calmed down.

Miljah · 17/12/2018 19:58

Actually, in the big picture, it doesn't necessarily 'damage' DC to see mummy, occasionally, proportionately lose her shit! It teaches them that you, too, have limits. You are not their punchbag.

Mine are now 17/19 😊. I 'lost' it probably 3 or 4 times over those years. Each time- I was not necessarily proud of myself, but it brought their behaviour back into line pretty damn quick, at least for a while! And my 'apology' was 'If you push enough of my buttons, despite requests, then warnings- not to; I am human and you pushed me too far. This is why I shouted'.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 17/12/2018 19:59

Losing my shit with the dds. Prolonged flu/cold and now puking dog when I really need to do uni work. I am horrid

Miljah · 17/12/2018 20:20

queen mis-spelling of horrid when you meant 'human'....

Original poster
cjt110 · 17/12/2018 20:31

@miljah 👍❤

OP posts: