What do you ‘fund’ for your teenagers?

[teenfinances]

Dd is 17. No job (has been trying to find one to be fair). At college full time mon-fri
Her allowance per week covers travel and either lunch or luxuries (£5 per day)
There is plenty of food if she wants to take a packed lunch but she likes to eat out so the money goes on lunch 9/10

We pay for her phone and we provide basic things at home such as basic toiletries that we all use, the bathroom cabinet is always well stocked with sanitary towels etc.
The thing is she thinks that things I’d consider luxuries to come out of her allowance are actually essentials and we should fund them. For example she has a skin conditions and uses a special skincare regime and wants us to pay for it as apparently it’s ‘medical and a necessity’
She wants us to buy her specific vitamins etc rather than her having the multivitamins we all have .....I could go on
I’m just wondering what other parents do as I just don’t know if I’m right or wrong

Also, if she decides she wants something ridiculously expensive but not essential she would be told that she would be paying for it.

When we hit teens we got given our child benefit allowance each month so about £80, a student travel pass we got for college and a basic phone contract. We were expected to contribute at home to get that and had food at home provided and standard toiletries shower gel etc. Anything additional we brought, including snazzy toiletries lunches on college days. Driving lessons if we wanted them & Clothes etc. We promptly realised how far it didn’t go and both got jobs. First thing I did on earning my own money-spoiled my parents at Christmas to thank them for everything they had done for us 😊 but once working they stopped paying our phone contracts and once working and not studying/when doing loads of extra hours in summer we paid rent of £25 a week-I felt it worked well and definitely gave me an appreciation of how things cost!

Another way to compromise regarding the skincare regime is to decide how much you would be willing to contribute towards it.

Say for the sake of argument that you offered her 50%. She then funds the other 50%. You offer whatever you are willing to.

DD year 10 gets her mobile paid for, (20.00 a month) all toilettries including vitamins as shes a vegetarian and skin products from the Clean and clear range, clothes and shoes. Extra clothes and treats have to purchased out of her own money. She gets a weekly allowance from my parents. I pay for a youth club thing she attends on a Friday evening. I will give her money for outings with friends if she has done her chores and behaved.

DD is 17 living away from home. She gets an allowance and she has a part-time job.

I pay her mobile phone contract and her annual travel card. I would help out if she needed to spend any extra for genuine medical reasons eg a skin condition, everything else she has to budget for.

I wouldn't pay for the special vitamins; for the skincare it would depend what it is and whether it's reasonable.

Mine has a job, waitressing. I asked at a coffee shop where we stop when dog walking if they need extra staff (she was with us), had interview did a cv. Yes I'm cheeky but if you don't ask you don't get

She has a car, we pay for it all plus a tank of petrol a month she puts in any extra.

She's in uni, she pays the tuition fees but we cover everything else (phone, gym, dental, accommodation costs, food) she has an allowance too on top of her wages. If she needs extra money she asks and we "loan" her cash.

My ds is working p/t and studying p/t we support him exactly the same.

Its not cheap but we always knew that we'd support them financially no matter what.

(Misses point)...what is the skincare range? Love knowing about things that work. Dermalogica?

Cost of all activities (one does music, one does dance)

Phone.

Basic clothes (neither have very many clothes, tbh, and it tends to be on a 'it has holes in - get a new one' basis) and shoes, including school uniform.

£10 into their bank accounts each month - I agree this is tiny, but their need for cash is small because both have very p/t jobs.

All food. They have packed lunches, so have no need for cash for food, and they walk to school.

Toiletries come out of the family grocery shop. DD buys her own makeup or occasionally gets it as presents.

Sounds mean but her face products unless on a medical prescription are luxuries as pp.
Simply if she has no job she has no nice skin care routine.
I haven't gone to the hair salon in years, can't add the expense and my hair needs a bloody cut. I've had to go to primark, for makeup even though it can dry my skin and I earn my own money, but bills and dc come first.
Teach her this young or else she will not understand money.
Or you could add an additional chore and when it's complete you buy the products.

She needs to go back to the gp/ dermatologist and get something on prescription that works.

£30 pcm for skincare is too much.

But if I had a dc this age I would pay their phone, travel, £2pd lunches, basic clothes and shoes and basic toiletries.

I wouldn't fund the special skincare regime. I pay for phone, lunch money (£15 a week) and an allowance of £70 a month. I'll buy toiletries if they're part of the grocery shop. (e.g simple face wash). I'll buy trainers etc if I'm feeling kind. My older 2 teens have jobs.. my 15 yo is just starting to sort babysitting etc to fund these things.

17yo DS, I still pay for everything. £9 a month on mobile, £25 into his bank for pocket money, guitar lessons. He isn’t very high maintenance.

Sadly £25 a week doesn't go very far but it all depends on what you can afford as a family. 35% of her monthly allowance on skincare is a lot too.

We pay for DD's skincare, basic make up, all toiletries, school lunches, clothing, phone, school trips/dances and £20 a week for socialising, treat make up/extra clothing etc.
She also receives treats for birthday/Christmas/holidays etc.

Does she use a canteen that has thumb/pre-paid card facility? I give DS enough for 3 days a week meal-deal at the canteen onto a pre-paid card and if he wants it more often or extras posh coffee & croissants for breakfast everyday he has to use his own money to top up.----
I see travel/food allowance as continued parental responsibility until he finishes education and keep it separate to any spends he might get.

Quite a lot it seems!
They both get £50 a month and are still at senior school, the older one has a part time job.
They both have phone contracts paid for, all
School bits paid for including trips to Iceland and elsewhere.
Clothes and shoes - I take them twice a year to to a spring/summer and autumn/winter shop and they can choose what they want pretty much. I’m talking topshop, new look, Hollister type shops,
not designer!!
Cinema trips and lunches out I tend to bung them a tenner and pay either for train or bus money.
All toiletries are paid for including things like face masks and moisturisers etc. Hair cuts every 8 weeks, dd goes for an interim shave as she has an undercut type thing.
We don’t really go shopping as a day out activity but if we are at the shops and see something they like, I’ll get it.
I don’t know, I had absolutely nothing as a teenager, had to buy my own sanitary protection and underwear from being about 12 which I used to do by saving my birthday and Christmas money so I do treat my kids a lot. They are lovely, well mannered and polite girls and although we probably do spoil them with trips and treats, they don’t act spoilt. Never expect anything, always thank us and anyone else who gives them presents or takes them to places. They are helpful around the house and help out with their little brother, keep their rooms relatively clean and tidy and can cook and clean so I do feel like they are becoming well rounded people. I am now wondering if we are ruining them

Don’t doubt yourself because of this thread @cakeninja. Sounds much the same as here. Plenty of time for them to fend for themselves.

Thanks Nick.
Dp and I had very different upbringings but we both want our children to know we will always support them in any way we can and that includes financially but i do sometimes wonder if we do too much for them.
And then I think, ffs they’re our children and they won’t be here with us forever to spoil and enjoy and carry on with my day

she always gets coffee and lunch out

As an adult, at work, this is never something I have been able to afford. She's taking the mick. If she chooses to splash out like this, that is her choice. She could take a packed lunch and have £25 in her pocket every week (for 'skincare regime' or whatever else she chooses to spend it on).
I have a 17 yr old dd - she has £2.50 a day to get herself her meal at school which is plenty. She gets £17 pm pocket money from us. She pays for her own phone contract.
She has got herself a PT job and uses the money from that to pay for her driving lessons / going out / occasional clothes / train fare if meeting friends (she has a bus pass but to some places the train is quicker / more straightforward, so again, that is a choice thing / and things like Christmas presents.
We buy most of her clothes, toiletries etc.

Think you should pay for skin care op if you can afford to, as that could affect self esteem and confidence.

We fund DD monthly mobile contract, a decent winter coat, decent shoes, basic clothes ( not named brands), school lunches, trips, school bag, pens and files etc. Basic toiletries, a monthly allowance of £100 plus taxi money if we cannot pick her up from a night out

Also funded driving lessons and brought her her car.

DD works weekends, so if she wants branded clothes or high end stuff she buys it herself

Ds is 19.
He in full time education. We fund everything from hus car, petrol,clothes and beer money and everything inbetween.

dd1 is 16. We fund everything to do with her college expenses (she is a fashion student on an art course so lots of extras). She has a part time job at the weekends and earns between £240 and £300 for 8 - 12 hours works. Half of her wages she puts straight into a savings account for a car, the rest she spends. We are currently paying her mobile phone but she is due to take over this when her contract ends in May.
For context as a family we are skint- but we are firm believers in teaching our children the value of money and how to budget well. I honestly don't think throwing vast amounts of money at young adults equips them well for adult life. Money should be earned and young people need to learn to live within their means.

Younger teen here but I pay for everything, phone, clothes, music, tennis, swimming, special skincare for sensitive spotty skin that costs more than mine, parent pay top up for food at school. £40 a month allowance.

Bit like CakeNinja I had very little growing up and worked in a supermarket from 14 at weekends and then worked all through uni. If I can possibly afford to fund DD I will.

I would pay for the skincare, finding something that works isn’t easy and making troublesome skin better is a confidence booster.

My daughter buys her own clothes, phone contract, taxis and nights out. She also contributes to keep.

At 17, she should be in education or a job.

DD is 16, at sixth form, no regular pt job, would be difficult to fit round her extra curriculars. We fund school expenses, ( but expensive history trip to Germany will be her birthday present from us and GPS next year), dance lessons, scouts, basic clothes ie underwear, couple of pairs of jeans, few hoodies, a few options of going out clothes, phone contract (though this was a birthday present). She gets £30 per month allowance - this is to cover lunch at school if she wants to buy it, there is plenty of stuff in for a packed lunch so this easily covers the odd lunch at school, extra clothes in top of what we buy, and any going out to the cinema or whatever with her mates. She often has vouchers or cash for birthday from family to supplement her funds for new clothes, but as she likes 'vintage' ie charity shop, or primarni a few pounds goes a long way. We also buy her the odd bottle of cider to take to a party, and Dad's taxi to get her there and back.

I wouldnt fund lunch. i would make a packed lunch.
Skin care, how much does it cost?
can it be got on prescription.
phones, yes pay for.
travel yes - although we were able to reclaim