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Sister shuts me out even at Xmas

8 replies

dogsbodymum · 16/12/2018 19:17

I've felt so let down by my sister particularly this last year! She's always been a bit flakey in our relationship. There is a 9 year difference which hasn't helped but since she's met her latest partner who she's been with now for 8 years, she's seemed to push me out even more. We used to see each other every Xmas maybe not xmas day but usually Boxing Day or the day after. It would give me chance to see my niece and my dad when he was alive (mum died 18 years ago), but then one year she just didn't seem interested in seeing us and now doesn't see us at all. She moved house about 3 years ago and I've never been invited around, don't you think that's weird, I was constantly around the other house.

This year I got married, I was so upset she didn't come to the wedding or even be interested in it. I basically got married with no family there. My niece now in her 20's doesn't bother either. I have just been getting in with my own life, it does get easier but now xmas is coming it's thrown up all sorts of emotions again , why has she just tossed me aside? Why doesn't she want to know us anymore, why didn't she come to my wedding or wish me luck!

If I ever ask her these questions she just says I'm being over emotional or making a big thing out of nothing. I know her controlling parter has a lot to do with it!

What do I do do I send her a xmas present or say enough is enough and just walk away?

OP posts:
PanamaPattie · 16/12/2018 19:20

Walk away. Your sister has made her feelings quite clear.

dogsbodymum · 16/12/2018 19:23

It's just she does text me now and again asking how everyone is but that's as far as it goes!

OP posts:
allthingsred · 16/12/2018 19:36

I have a brother like this.
He is awful to my children, nothing at all at christmas not even a card on their birthdays. I made a decision last year after begging to meet up with him so I could see my nephews & being ignored. to let it go
I always send cards & pressies to his boys ( still nothing from him for mine!) I still text hi fortnightly, so he knows the door is open but I will no longer beg to see him.
It's sad. I've always thought because he has a good job & he's done well, he thinks we are too beneath him.
We have cousins (again all in good jobs & own their own homes in nice areas of the country)that he is amazing with, treats their children wonderfully, but doesnt bother with his own nieces & nephews.
It's hurtful but keep the door open, so when she does reach out, it's OK.

dogsbodymum · 16/12/2018 19:42

Gosh allthingsred that is so hurtful! I do think my sister has always been jealous in some way, not that she has anything to be jealous of. She's got the big house and good job, I do have a nice house and an ok job, she did seem to go weird when I said I was getting married tough and when I moved into this house she avoided coming down to visit! It was all very odd!!

OP posts:
allthingsred · 16/12/2018 20:01

It is. As there is no reason at all.
No big fall out, Ive never pulled him on missing my children's days or Xmas. Not even to other people. It breaks me when I see how wonderful he is to our cousins children. Ive genuinely never asked him for anything. But its like hes embarrased about the life he came from of which im a reminder. after breaking down to my partner last year about it. I made a decision not to let it get to me anymore.
I always remember his boys, as I never want him to think that the estrangement as come from me.
It breaks me when I think about it too much. So I've simplified it....he's just weird!! 😂😂😂 But he's my little brother. & I desperately want my kids to know their cousins so I will keep trying

dogsbodymum · 16/12/2018 20:13

I know I'm the same, I try not to let it get to me and carry on but every so often it just does. Xmas is one of those times

OP posts:
dogsbodymum · 16/12/2018 21:03

I just think I get so upset by her constant rejections it's time to move on

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dogsbodymum · 17/12/2018 16:21

It's absolutely ridiculous I feel the way I do, I have a husband, 2 children that adore me, 2 gorge doggies, lovely friends! It's just the family thing mum died young which changed things particularly at Xmas, dad died 2 years ago on the 28th dec and my sister has turned her back on me. We have so much planned with my husbands family sometimes it can be a bit daunting oh and I have 2 teenage step daughters that pretty much hate me so I just get down sometimes 🙄

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