Kidslox internet restrictions

[Cobblersandhogwash]

We've just bought Kidslox and applied it to our dcs gadgets. Vodafone wasn't really helpful in parental controls.

They get 3 hours internet access per day during the holidays and it shuts down at 9pm for them. They are 13, 11, 9 and 6.

If they delete the app on their phone they lose it for one day. They do it again, they lose it for one week. Again, they lose it for a month. One more time, they lose their phone indefinitely.

13 year old has kicked off because of this. Gone crackers. Smashed his 'phone by flinging it on the ground. It's been confiscated.

He has form for raging. He's just started to see a counsellor.

It makes for really unpleasant weekends but we feel it's really important to have proper restrictions on what they can access and how long on the internet.

Do your dcs really resent your restricting their internet access? Do you just ignore it?

You have the same restrictions for a 6 and a 13 year old?
I'd think my DS would have kicked off as well and I would have had to agree with him.

They all get three hours a day. 6 year doesn't access the internet really anyway. He's not interested.

And he's in bed by 7pm.

So?

I think 3 hrs for a 13 year old is plenty. An hr for the 6 year old.
If more parents parented rather than using tech as a babysitter society would be in a much better place right now.

@Prokupatuscrakedatus so you condone his throwing and smashing his phone then?

Cobblers I’m with you on this. I think your times and method of control are reasonable.

@Cobblersandhogwash
I was not talking about his reactions spcifically but about the things I assumed could be the reason for them - percieved injustice being one of them.
You also mentioned that he is in process of possibly being diagnosed.
My DC - now both older teens - are on the spectrum and / or have ADHD, so possible - and normal - reactions for them are probably different from what your are experiencing with your DS. I had to learn a totally different approach to parenting over the years to eliminate these reactions. The measures my common sense or parenting courses for NT children dictated did not work.

@Prokupatuscrakedatus who diagnosed your dcs?

We do need help with him.

@Cobblersandhogwash
My experiences will not help you, because I am in another country:
Kindergarten and school flagged up concerns, we as parents noticed problems (thats's when I took those parenting courses that didn't help). We collected our concerns, asked our GP what the next steps could be. We checked out waiting lists and decided on an approved children's psychiatric center + contacted our school district's psychological service.
They were diagnosed fairly quickly - thorough physical health checks, check of their environment to exclude abuse or other maltreatment, family history, questionaires for everybody (kindergarten, school, playgroup etc). Then they got help (social courses, aids at school even medication) and we had to learn a new approach to parenting.
DD is in her final year of school and on her way to university, DS is in year 10 (16y now).

Does your 3 hour limit include the time that the Internet is needed for homework? Because if so, I would reconsider. My DDs get the majority of their homework in a format that has to be completed online. And they get a lot of homework. At age 13, the amount they get can really ramp up, so I would look into this in a bit more detail.

Getting your 13yo help with his anger issues is a good idea.

@pointythings he does all his homework at school and they regulate his access there along with the other boys.

It's purely for when he's at home

I'd say that's fair enough then.