To feel others cope a lot better

[Bahumwinterbugs]

A bit of a self indulgent moan. I just feel on my knees with exhaustion. I have three dcs, work part-time, very supportive dh etc. I am very lucky and this is a small problem in comparison to many.
I just fucking hate these winter bugs with a passion and honestly find it v hard to cope. Basically I have had two really bad sleepers in the last 4 years so think this has made everything worse. My older two sleep great now but my 20 month old still wakes regularly, we literally have tried every. We usually think it’s a mixture of teething and just general toddler wakefulness. 3 weeks ago he really ramped it up with numerous wakes a night, tempatures etc. I found out he’d been around another dc with chicken pox so I guess there was an explanation and he was just cooking it up. 2 weeks later and no spots, still very out of form, I noticed a weird smell from his mouth and brought him to dr to find he has bad tonsillitis. I felt very bad he had suffered but I thought he was incubating the chicken pox and didn’t want to expose other patients.
I am dreading us all getting tonsillitis which has happened a few times before. I have woken up headachey and exhausted today (so hoping it’s nothing) and I just don’t feel I can face this.
We have loads of plans over Christmas. When I talk to other parents they seem so casual about illnesses and they just breeze through them. For me I just struggle as it usually means several wakes a night with maybe more than one dc.
I also think my immune system is now fucked. I had just returned back into running and yoga but two weeks ago I had an infection after root canal and had to take antibiotics and this set me back again.
I also hate this as it probably lowers the immune system but I can’t weather through infections right now as I just don’t have the strength and I have 3 young dcs to take care of.
I am very conscious of food and proper nuitrition , we grow our own and eat a varied diet.
I just feel a bit weak and pathetic if I am honest. I could cry this morning as feel I could be coming down with the tonsillitis too and I get really ill with it. Even the thought of having to go to the dr with dcs in tow😫
Am I pathetic or do others struggle?

I don’t have any useful advice op but I do sympathise. I have health anxiety and I don’t cope at all well when me or the DC are ill.
I had CBT a few years ago to see if that would help but it didn’t.
All I can say is just try to accept it is what it is (easier said than done I know). I found that fighting the feeling of not coping just made me feel worse. Now I try to accept that even though I do all I can to keep us all healthy, realistically I cannot prevent all illnesses and if plans have to be cancelled and we all stay in until we are better then so be it.
It’s so hard, I know. Sending

Thank you for your message. Sorry to hear that you suffer with health anxiety. For me it’s not so much worrying about illness as such it’s the reality of having to deal with it when it happens.
I feel like I am already running on empty and then when these things hit it just feels all the harder. I got tonsillitis before and so did two of my dcs and had to go to the dr. There was a long waiting time, I had a very high temperature and just felt awful and I really struggled to just keep it together as I had to look after my dcs. It’s not like I could just go home and climb into bed. I get that’s what parenting is about but I think the last few experiences have made me really dread these things so much.
I know it gets easier as they get older , my 8 year old is fine when sick, chills in bed but my 20 month old can’t sit still for a second even when ill and I find this hard.
I just feel like others cope a lot better and thought I’d be stronger than this but I was crying this morning at the thought of getting sick this week. I necdr thought I’d be like this before kids as I was usually a lot more resilient and positive..

And please don’t get me started on drs advising bed rest with a 20 month old and three year old...

I sympathize and I only have two dc. Dc 1 was a terrible sleeper til 2.5 but now sleeps well and dc2 is a terrible sleeper and is 22 months. I don’t think I cope well, I find it very overwhelming to look after them, keep the house clean, on top of washing etc and work part time (teacher so lots of marking at home etc). However I do also have support from dh and Parents nearby so I should be fine but sometimes I get so stressed and yesterday was in tears a LOT!!!

So you’re not the only one and you’re probably doing better than you think.

The only thing I would say that helps me is getting some sleep - a lie in has helped loads today. And usually exercising but recently I haven’t had the motivation or energy!

I totally get where you’re coming from. We have a two year old and a 5 month old and both are shit sleepers. DH and I both work full time and have no family in the same country.

DS1 has just finished a course of antibiotics for a throat infection and DS2 was diagnosed yesterday with bronchiolitis. I woke up in the night last night with horrendous diarrhoea and vomiting and have spent the whole day feeling like death warmed up.

I would give anything for 48 hours of pure rest without having to cook, clean and even think about anyone else. Last night I even wished I ended up needing hospitalization as at least then I could have a break

On primera I really feel for you, that’s really tough. I think also when you are sick it’s so important to sleep properly and to be sick on top of frequent night wakes is just rough. Hope you all make a speedy recovery.
I have lots of family but they have never given any practical help ever, lots of supportive text messages though ...
Sorry for the moan, I think everything is easier with some sleep so here hoping for a sleepy 2019