Seriously sleep derived :(

[MummaJ1]

I've never posted on anything like this before, bit I'm so exhausted and desperate for advice!
My 20 week old baby is still waking every two hours in the night to feed (EBF) and suffered with silent reflux - which has got much better, but I still have to keep him upright for 20minutes after a feed. All this is leading to me getting an hour and a bit sleep between each feed. Also the last 3/4 weeks he's been waking up in between those too! Not to feed, but needs cuddling to sleep. I feel like I spend all night, every night awake and I feel completely broken. Any advice on how to get him to go longer? And stop this new habit of waking every half hour 40 mins?

Another with no idea how to help but your not alone. Mine is 8 weeks and the longest sleep I've had was 2 hours. Feeling so low and totally broken. Not helped by the fact I'm surrounded by people whose babies all sleep. So clearly it's my fault and I'm doing something wrong. just destroyed my confidence.

It's not any of your faults, some babies sleep, some don't!

My boy had this (now 1yrs) and the only thing that worked for him was sleeping on his tummy, I know I know..... we had to buy the angel care breathing monitor. Was the best thing ever!

Pressed send to quick.... I too before tummy sleeping was up every 45mins or soo as he was feeding every 2/3 hours and he needed a few breaks when feeding and had to keep him upright for 45mins to a hour... putting him on his tummy helped the reflux and he immediately stop the straining etc and would even burp on his own while lying dwn on his tummy

Not what you want to hear, but sounds quite normal for a 20 week baby. It's incredibly hard though, I remember it well

How's it normal though @jellybean2017. Genuinely? Do all these people I speak to lie? Everyone says their baby slept 4 hour stints or all night bar one feed. Am I surrounded by liars? Are they they strange ones? I just don't get it.

I don’t think it’s normal at 20 weeks. My DD slept through from 3 weeks and my DN is 8 weeks and only wakes up once a night.
OP it must be horrible but you are doing all you can.

Thank you ladies, I wasn't expecting so many replies.
Found some comfort in knowing I'm not alone. For him i'm not so sure it is normal...I know he can go longer, he's never been a fantastic sleeper, but would always get a good four hour stint at the start of the night and then three hours after, but now it's just gone so south lol. It's so hard, and I really sympathise for all of you in the same boat. Guess we just have to hang in there.
xx

Is he on meds for the reflux?

I hear you, OP. DS had silent reflux and was a terrible sleeper. It turned out he had CMPA, have you ruled that out?
www.allergyuk.org/information-and-advice/conditions-and-symptoms/469-cows-milk-allergy
If it's CMPA it should help for you to go dairy-free.

Do you have a reflux wedge? We have a wedgehog which helps, although going dairy-free made the big difference for us.

Also... 20 weeks you say? That's 4 month sleep regression territory. Could well be a combination of the reflux issue plus sleep regression. Absolute killer.
www.babysleepscience.com/single-post/2014/03/12/The-Four-Month-Sleep-Regression-What-is-it-and-What-can-be-Done-About-it

You aren’t alone! My 22 weeker is showing signs of coming out of it now but it’s been a long old slog. Like you she is EBF and had been doing longer stretches but it all went tits up about 15/16 weeks and we were waking every two hours for feeds through the night. Also has silent reflux is on ranitidine and confirmed not CMPA.
Anyway things which have helped - I’ve been working on her going to sleep in the daytime without a nipple. Roughly two hours after waking and she’s a pro now. This is definitely helping at night as sometimes she stirs and I can just give her a shush and a pat and she will go back to sleep. She did 7-4:30 this week and I could have sobbed. We are back to every two hours again last night but it is happening albeit slowly.
Oh and yes to tummy sleeping though she can get there herself so I’m not as worried. I do have a snuz-n-go clipped to her nappy though as I’m a bit paranoid.
Good luck. Keep doing what you’re doing it is a phase I promise. My two year old was the same and he’s a dream sleeper has been from about 8/9 months old.

Ug could be the 4 month sleep regression! Google it...

homemadegin They aren't lying, just there is a huge range of normal. Just like some babies walk at 8 months and some walk at 18. Waking every 2 hours at 20 weeks is completely within the range of normal. My 14 month old only sleeps 10 hours in 24 and wakes three times a night to be resettled. He's healthy, happy, meeting all his milestones (in fact he walked really early!). His sleep is improving slowly, in that a couple of months ago he was waking 5 times minimum.

That said, it's exhausting and I feel for you OP. They do sleep eventually, some just take longer than others.

Did suspect sleep regression, this has been going on for a while now, Soo hoping he'll go back to 'normal' soon!
Have often wondered if there was an allergy of some kind, he struggles terribly with wind (bottom end ha!) Farts like a trooper and they seem to make him so uncomfortable, poor little love. Not to mention they stinkkkk foul 🤮 not sure if it's not already for bf babies? Might have to bite the bullet and cut out dairy... Not sure what's worse, no sleep or no cheese?! HAHA!

Normal*

Well I do miss cheese (and other things) but I prefer sleep!

Best practice is to go dairy-free for 6 weeks. If symptoms improve, it's likely to be CMPA, and to confirm the diagnosis, you eat some yoghurt (or something else high on the milk ladder) and see if baby has a reaction. If they do it confirms CMPA.

There is lots of useful info and advice on this blog
dilanandme.com/2018/01/15/cmpa-faqs-1/

I think at this stage I resorted to having my baby sleep face down on my chest, then I figured out it was more about being face down than about me, and started putting him on his tummy to sleep. It's not recommended by the NHS, but check the ISIS sleep research site to weigh up the risks for yourself-with a bf, full term baby in a smoke free home I was ok with it, and in the end he rolled a couple of weeks later and then self-selected for tummy sleeping. You could try putting him on his tummy for naps and staying right there to start with. Try not to worry too much about what everyone else is doing, it's a difficult stage it really is-the adrenaline has really worn off and the baby is not sleeping!

I have 3 dc. One slept ok, one slept brilliantly and one didn't sleep until he was 3.5 years old! We did pretty much the same with all of them so I think some babies just don't sleep rather than you being able to change something and they sleep. We literally tried everything we could and ds still didn't sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. Bloody awful isn't it! I genuinely look back and wonder how I got through it. So no advice but wanted you to know you aren't alone

@homemadegin as others have said its in the range of normal. My DS is 16 months now but I had a long running thread on here with lots of other mums struggling with similar sleep problems up until he was about six months old. So it's normal for some. They're all different. It's bloody hard work though. I didn't think I'd ever sleep again and fought and fought to try to find out if something was wrong with DS. I went dairy and soya free, tried cranial osteopathy, got a paediatrician referral. But he just didn't like sleep... 😶 He still doesn't sleep through. Also I do think a lot of people actually do lie as they think the baby not sleeping well is somehow a reflection of their parenting abilities which obviously it is not.
to all xx

The 4 month sleep regression can be a doozy as their sleep can permanently change. Have a look online. Good luck! Zzz