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Original poster

Moving us all into one bedroom?

54 replies

RadAsHeck · 15/12/2018 19:22

...to defeat the cold?
Hiiiiiii. 'All of us' is me + DD + cat + hamster. We live in a very old, draughty cottage (rented) and every winter it's freezing.

I've just been up to DD's room (attic) and thermometer shows me it is 12 degrees. When the heating is on it creeps up to 15/16 but because the loft is so poorly insulated and the floors so draughty and the windows so badly fitted (cheap landlady) it gets cold very quickly. By contrast, my bedroom is slightly warmer. I'm thinking of moving DD's mattress into my room along with the hamster so we can all at least sleep comfortably. I can't keep the heating on all night - it goes off at 10 and comes on 2-4 at the moment. Her rooms is almost unbearably cold. She has a winter duvets, hot water bottle and a blanket.

I don't mind squeezing us all in together, but I feel bad for DD that she has to do it. I feel weird about it, like I'm letting her down by having such a shit house (it's nice in the summer!)

OP posts:
Twickerhun · 15/12/2018 19:24

How old is DD? I would if she’s ok with it. I share with my two at the moment - they both love the snuggles

gamerchick · 15/12/2018 19:27

I would. You might regret the hamster though if you're a light sleeper.

Original poster
RadAsHeck · 15/12/2018 19:30

gamerchick Ha! We did the same last year and the bloody thing went on the wheel approximately a billion times a night.

Should have said, DD is 8. That's why it feels a bit weird. It was alright when she was younger and it was a bit of an adventure to camp in mum's room for a few cold weeks. Now I just think it must be a pain in the arse for her. But also, it's freezing!

OP posts:
Homemadearmy · 15/12/2018 19:32

Ask her?

LakeIsle48 · 15/12/2018 19:33

Is there any chance you could look for somewhere else in the new year? I lived in a freezing cold flat when my DD was a year old. It's true that cuddling up is lovely.

Luckily enough the landlord decided to sell up and I moved into a really tiny, but cosy, flat. It's 20 years ago and I still remember how cold it was.

Could you make an appointment to see your local council about alternative housing? Perhaps your health visitor/GP could support your application.

Have you any relatives who could help you. Sometimes it can feel shameful to ask for help but don't let that stop you for asking for help.

I'm thinking about you and hope things change for you. You sound like a really loving mum x

Original poster
RadAsHeck · 15/12/2018 19:34

homemade She said she doesn't mind, so I think I'm going to. It's me that feels bad, not her.

OP posts:
jjemimapuddleduck · 15/12/2018 19:36

Can you not cuddle up together in your bed rather than dragging her mattress through? That will be much warmer. When DH is away, my big kids (11 & 9) take it in turns to sleep in with me.

Skatersbeskating · 15/12/2018 19:36

Ask the landlady to apply for a grant to insulate the loft properly.

Has the attic room passed all fire regulations?

If the landlady is cheap, I would look at the safety aspect of it.

Sorry Sad

FiveNightsAtMummys · 15/12/2018 19:39

I'd co sleep if u were you, my beds so cold now my youngest doesn't co-sleep (it was like having a electric blanket lol)

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 15/12/2018 19:39

I live in another country but I am renting, too.
Have you talked to your local tenants union (vocab.?)
My landlord has to make sure that 18°C at night and 20-22 ° during day time can be reached with reasonable effort and costs - otherwise I can after a warning period reduce the rent and pay the withheld part into a separate 'rent reduction' account (to show I am willing and able to pay the rent) until the problem is solved.

Original poster
RadAsHeck · 15/12/2018 19:39

LakeIsle That's a lovely message, thank you. We're not actually struggling financially, it's just seasonal when the temperatures drop! Last year there was ice on the INSIDE OF THE WINDOWS. I remember that from being a kid myself in the 70s, I've always lived in weird old houses that don't quite fit together properly. I suppose I didn't want that to be a memory for her - and also, how uncool are you sharing a room with your uncool mum who snores?

Every year I say 'I'm not living here another bloody winter' and then spring and summer come on through and the house is warm and sunny and I forget all about it again.

OP posts:
NannyR · 15/12/2018 19:40

Is her sleep being disturbed or is she complaining of being cold? My bedroom has been around 12 degrees the last few nights, but I've got a good, warm duvet and blankets and I don't actually feel cold in bed.
Would an electric blanket help?

Longdistance · 15/12/2018 19:41

Electric heater in her room. Hot water bottles. 15+ tog duvet. Rugs on the floor of her bedroom. Draught excluders on the windows. Fleece pyjamas, socks for nightwear.

heather1 · 15/12/2018 19:44

Yes I would. I’d leave the hamster where it is though. Buy plastic sheeting and stick this with masking tape put this around the window frame of DDs room up to the windowsills. This will at least keep some of the warmth in - my parents did this when I was growing up and it helped. Other option is to get an plug in oil heater - Argos sells them. Quite cheap and energy efficient too.

Original poster
RadAsHeck · 15/12/2018 19:46

jjemima she does sometimes climb into my bed, I just thought it would be nicer for her to have her own, even if it's in my room!

skaters STG this house was a death trap when we moved in. I insisted on a gas safety check (one hadn't been done for years) and they condemned the boiler and the cooker. Landlady was fuming. I insist on getting one every year, along with a proper carbon monoxide detector and every time I do she mutters about selling the house. She has a handyman who takes on the role of every tradesman (badly) and I wouldn't trust him to lag a pipe never mind the whole loft. He's useless. When we moved in I had the firemen come over to do a fire check and fit smoke alarms and they seemed to think it was okay. That was mainly for DD's peace of mind as they'd been learning about the Great Fire of London in school and she was paranoid :(

Fivenights Honestly, the most important self-care I can think of is a warm, comfortable bed. Blankets, hot water bottles, throws. I love it.

Prokup I will look into a tenant's union but as I said, she is not a very proactive landlord. She threatens to sell whenever I approach her with a problem but ironically the house is in such a state she knows she'd sell at a huge loss so she won't probably won't!

OP posts:
llangennith · 15/12/2018 19:50

When it's really cold put a duvet over the bottom sheet and sleep on that with a duvet or two on top.
Duvet below and duvet on top really works

Original poster
RadAsHeck · 15/12/2018 19:51

nannyr she falls asleep ok as heating is on, hot water bottle in bed etc but always wakes cold in the night, whether heating on or not. Then she comes into bed with me. I got an Amazon gift card for Christmas might go mad and get an electric blanket. Will I ever leave my bed again? Probably not tbh

longdistance I got her some thermals the other day so she's wearing those in the evenings. I'll look at the electric heaters but I always worry they are a fire risk

heather I remember my parents doing the same around the windows, and stuffing the cracks with old newspaper. I have to bring hamster down as sadly they go into hibernation and can die if too cold for too long :(

OP posts:
Original poster
RadAsHeck · 15/12/2018 19:52

llanganeth Yes! I do the same but with folded fleece blankets. It's a tip I got from Mumsnet, actually. Along with fleece blankets sewn on the underside of curtains.

OP posts:
Kikidelivers · 15/12/2018 19:52

If I were you
I would deal with the draughty. That is unacceptable and can be resolved. Or least vastly improved.

And then I’d swap rooms. So I’d have the colder room

Beamur · 15/12/2018 19:53

It's a legal requirement for a landlord to have an annual gas check. Electrics every 5 too.

ginghamstarfish · 15/12/2018 19:53

A bit late now but I think you as householder can apply for grant etc re loft insulation - may need owner's permission but she should jump at it if it's no cost to her? Call your local council etc as I know some of them have schemes to do this at very low cost or free. Agree with the clingfilm stuff over windows, I did this in a grotty flat I lived in and it made a difference (buy at Amazon or ebay etc) Buy cheap rolls of foam draught strip and stick it it whatever gaps you can (even just poke it in with a knife etc) - round windows, skirting boards etc.

Original poster
RadAsHeck · 15/12/2018 19:53

Similarly, if anyone else is in my situation and looking for cheap solutions Ikea do fleece blankets as cheap as 1.50 and they are good for putting under sheets, over duvets, over windows etc

OP posts:
cheesywotnots · 15/12/2018 19:54

Oil filled radiators are good, some have thermostats and timers. I'd rather move somewhere where it's warm, I hate the cold. Your LL might be able to get heating and insulation grants, for now I'd all bunk in together, it's going to get colder. Have you got insulation tape around the windows.

ginghamstarfish · 15/12/2018 19:55

Forgot to add, I would really look for a new place come spring! Winter is so long here, it's horrible to be cold for such a long time even if the house is ok in summer.

Original poster
RadAsHeck · 15/12/2018 19:57

Beamur I know, I can't believe she thought I wouldn't press her on it. She was genuinely annoyed that I wanted it done. I wouldn't not do it now, knowing she is how she is.

Kiki I hadn't thought of that. I will see how she feels about it.

gingham You've just reminded me I have some of those foam strips for doors and windows! Thank you!

OP posts: