Inspired by those mners who are younger and struggling with certain aspects of life and remembering how that felt and wishing I had the knowledge I have now then.
Some lightheartedness but also some serious points.
1 how to be assertive - it's a HUGELY beneficial skill that I wish I'd developed many years ago as a way of dealing with those particular personalities that are used to and like getting their own way almost constantly
2 just because you're related to someone doesn't mean you have to like them or even have much, if anything to do with them.
3 NOBODY gets parenting exactly right. Most are learning as they go and making mistakes along the way and wondering how the fuck the poor buggers are still alive!
4 a well paid job that makes you miserable is not worth doing, better to be in a lower paid job you're mostly happy in (also all jobs have pros and cons)
5 it's ok not to like everyone you meet and it's also ok that not everybody likes you.
6 speak with care - because once it's said it can't be unsaid (admittedly still a learning curve for me)
7 everybody's "hard" is different. Doesn't make it less hard.
Eg I have always loved kids and been looking after other people's kids for donkeys years in various forms so I found being a sahm relatively easy. Because I'm suited to it. BUT that doesn't mean it is for everyone. When I then became a working single mum I found that incredibly hard as it wasn't suited to my personality at all but I had people in real life and on another forum think I was unreasonable in finding it hard - yet they couldn't have coped as sahm's. I also have OCD. I've found it very useful when coming across people who are less than synpathetic to find out what their fear/phobia is (OCD for me at least is a TON of phobias) I've then presented them with a scenario in which they have to spend every moment of their lives overwhelmed by the thing that causes them the most fear - eg if spiders "ok well imagine from as soon as you wake up until you go to sleep at night everything you do you are having to be surrounded by tarantulas, every task you have to clear tarantulas out the way" then they kinda start to get it.
8 equally - don't make your life harder than it needs to be. On mn this is often stated as "lower your standards". Your home doesn't have to be perfectly neat and tidy all the time, use shortcuts if they'll make your life easier in other ways there are no prizes for being a martyr. I don't iron, I've recently discovered how easy dresses make life!, it's not going to do anyone else any harm if I occasionally have a bowl of cereal for dinner!
9 pick your battles - especially with kids. (Again still kinda learning this one myself) It's all too easy to get mired in ALL the little annoying things a child/spouse/partner does. Sometimes it's the thin end of the wedge - I get that - but sometimes it's just different standards to others.
10 never feel ashamed of what you enjoy.
There's a lot of snobbery in society around certain hobbies/pastimes. I love watching tv as in I really genuinely enjoy it and get very involved in learning about the shows I watch and their development and the actors, directors, writers etc. I used to be embarrassed of this as being "just a telly addict" not any more. Gaming, LARP & I'm sure others I can't think of right now are treated dismissively by those not into them, as long as a hobby/pastime doesn't prevent you from being a responsible adult in the rest of your life how you choose to relax is entirely your business and nobody has the right to shame you for it.
11 friendships just like relationships require effort. Value your friends and thank them when they have gone above and beyond. It can be hard to make the time for friends when you're newly partnered and possibly in early days of parenting. But it is good to make time for yourself and for friendships inc with those friends at different life stages to you. It maintains the friendship (remember you're friends for a reason) and gives you a different perspective on life from the life stage you're currently in. Which can be really good for your mh and help you remember who YOU are when you're not busy being someone's wife or mother.
12 that doesn't mean you have to put up with poor treatment though. Someone who treats you poorly without consideration for your feelings or difficulties is not a friend.
So... What do you wiser/older mners wish you'd known as a younger person?