wwyd.... getting into teaching Vs getting pregnant

[Needadoughnut]

DP and I really want a baby we're not getting any younger so the sooner the better... We leave in a fairly rural area and I come from a corporate background so finding jobs hasn't been the easiest. It looks like I could do a PGCE with a bursary... But what would happen if I'm pregnant in the middle of the course? Or even before I start? Of course I could do it once baby is born (what I think I would do) but I don't know the bursaries will be available by then. Any experiences with this type of programme would be very helpful.

Sorry not to tell you what you want to hear, but I did my PGCE and NQT in my late 20s. Like you, I had parents who had been secondary school teachers. The job is now unrecognisable from what it once was - my parents were really shocked that I worked every evening and weekend and half of the holidays for 5 years straight. This wasn't because I am a perfectionist, but because of the increasingly complex needs of some children, and the really high standards that were demanded of us every day, for every lesson. I also found myself "making up" for lacking resources with a lot of my own time and money. Watch the BBC documentary school for a genuine insight into the situation across the country. I had a lesson observation the after my father's funeral - cosy it is not!

Eventually I left because I did not think that I would be able to have children while working at this rate.

I say this not to rain on your parade, but to urge you to consider very carefully the impact that a teaching career will have on those you love, including your children, and your own well-being. If I had known then what I know now, I would be five years further on in my new career and not working up from the bottom again.

DS teaches MFL. He actually found the NQT year harder than the PGCE year. He works long hours in school and always takes work home. He loves it but who can say what he will feel in the longer term, particularly if he has a family.

Don't forget you'll have £9k fees to pay out of the bursary or take a student loan, if you are eligible. The bursary is tax free so it's a bit of a come down when you actually start being paid, Especially if you have a 1st so get the maximum amount!

Me again! You say you want to pass on your own knowledge and have a better family life, which are common reasons for getting into teaching but what will you do when bottom set year 9 Friday last lesson rocks up and spends the hour telling you that French is a shit and a waste of time, that everyone speaks English anyway and that their mum has said languages isn't a useful skill? Or when year 7 just dont grasp how to conjugate the verb you need even thought you've shown them hundreds of times? Or you just want to go home to your husband and kids after a week of observations and data inputting but there's one of your form members crying outside your room and you know shes vulnerable right now so you have to spend 2 hours speaking to her and filling in CP forms. Your comment about teaching first years so have basically taught teenagers before shows that you may want to get some work experience in your local comp first.

I got pregnant during my PGCE year and had baby the following Autumn. Financially it was horrendous as I hadn't started working so wasn't entitled to any maternity support. I joined a supply agency when DS1 was 10 months old and did a few days a week and then got a permanent job when he was 20 months old. It's tough, you need support around you to get everything done but it's doable. I'm still teaching now with 3 children ranging from 14-3months and although hard sometimes I love it, love the fact I get regular holidays with my children in the school holidays rather than having to negotiate leave with other colleagues.
I'd say do it but be mindful that it will be no picnic. Good luck!!

@Needadoughnut i wish I'd trained to be a TA. You have a lot less work to do outside of hours. I'm now working in a nursery setting which means when i leave at the end of the day, I'm not taking a suitcase of books with me!

If I were to look for another job then I'd probably find myself in an admin role in a school. Keeping to holidays etc to suit my kids, but just less pressured outside of school hours. I don't know how mum's and dads manage to be full time teachers and then be parents when they go home! They are truly amazing people. I just felt for my situation that I was missing out on my kids early years and there is plenty of time for me to head back into teaching when they're older and more independent.

Spanish and French are definitely in demand.
I did school direct when my 3 children were finishing primary school and dh took a sabbatical. During training I did nothing at home - no drop offs, clubs, shopping, housework and everything went well. During my NQT year dh went back to work full time and it nearly broke the family.
You need to go into this with your eyes very wide open, as pp suggested go and observe in a local comp over a week or 2. Shadow a full time classroom teacher for a day and follow them everywhere. Make them show you Year 9 bottom set French on a Friday last lesson. Then decide.

I'd have your family and then train when you're in a routine or train and then have your family after your NQT year.

ITT and NQT years are steep learning curves and can vary from the tough buy doable through to the very stressful. I wouldnt advise anyone try to so them and add a baby in (if someone already has young kids of 3/4/5 then it seems to have less of an impact).

It sounds very much as though you are contemplating this because you think that with the amount of study you’ve already done,a PGCE will be easier or more straightforward and lead to a long term career.

You need to do a PGCE because you have a calling to work with young people, because you want to share your passion with them, because you want to be part of growing young minds.

I don’t get that from your posts. What I get, rightly or wrongly, is that you think a PGCE can’t be harder than a Masters, that you think it will be a secure long term career, that you think you relate to teenagers and are on their wavelength. It isn’t, it won’t be and you aren’t.

There is a recruitment crisis, MFL is not a core subject, a hefty percentage of people leave within five years and there is no job security. Contracts are generally fixed term and you can find yourself on capability at the drop of a hat. One less than favourable observation and that’s the start of a slippery slope.

If you have such an academic background, why are you not working in your initially chosen field.

I second going to shadow in a school for a while OP, I don't think you really know what it is you think you want.

If you have a KS3 class of 30 in front of you, they will likely not be set. Some of them will not really be able to read or write so they can't get on with an independent task, some will have attention difficulties and not be able to listen to you or work on a task for more than 3 or 4 minutes before they start messing about, some will have social communication difficulties and anxiety and frequently become emotionally disregulated which may mean they cry/ shout/ swear, some will have SEMH which mean that they will wilfully test your authority and intimidate other pupils. Some will have demand avoidant profiles that mean they will oppose whatever it is you ask them to do.

Then some will be really bright, and desperate to learn. Those ones may really resent you if you can't engage the others in the class. They and their parents might lodge formal complaints.

Then there will be some quiet 'middle' kids whose education you can see slipping away.

When you get that class through an hour of learning... the next one sit down- and they are actually a difficult class.

Repeat that 5 times a day every day for weeks on end and you will, I think, understand a new depth of emotional exhaustion.

And, dealing with that stuff is the GOOD bit of the job. Don't get me started on the stooped hoop jumping we have to do out of the classroom.

If you can sit down with a class like the one above, and genuinely love to be with them. Enjoy the adrenaline rushes when they throw chairs across the classroom and the oxytocin overload when they actually learn something, and have the resilience to do it over and over again even after you've carried a baby around between 2 and 4am, you will be ok.

If not, advance straight to M&S.

@foxy job opportunities here are scarce. There is no real need for my language skills other than teaching. I was a problematic child myself (I once set my classroom floor on fire) . Even though there's a university I need a PhD to teach, which if I had a grant I'd probably go that way.

I began my pgce with a toddler and got pregnant during/ took maternity leave. I'm.half way through my NQT.

It's made it very difficult to get my foot in the door for NQT really, and it was hard returning to Pgce after mat leave. I would train first then have a baby after nqt but that really depends on your situation.

@Merry getting pregnant isn't as easy as we thought it would be, this trying.to.get.on with it asap.

You have to do what works for you, it will.make getting into teaching more difficult but if you have to do it that way to complete your family then 🤷

We thought our second would take a longer to conceive as our first took a little over a year. Then I caught quickly 😂

Well I can't see many other options... In the meantime I'll get into care to make some savings until the bursary kicks in.

I trained with a 14 month baby and it was brutal. I came from an academic background too and it's not the academics that's taxing, it's the sheer time you have to devote to it to pass. You're juggling lesson planning, creating resources and other time consuming tasks with teaching a hefty timetable with assignments from the university. It's bedlam.

I had HUGE parental support whilst doing this and still struggled. By Christmas I was in hospital with pneumonia and against advice I discharged myself to finish work.

Remember you'll be in front of teenagers, maybe 30 to a class in key stage 3, several times a day. It's frantic, it's brutal. I was going to bed at 1 and waking at 4 just to keep up.

OP, don't consider it with a newborn or even a young baby. Train first!

Just RTFT and I can see that this is t what you want to hear. Sorry to add to the pile on but we all speak the utter truth. It's a rewarding job but your training puts massive demands on you. Good luck OP.

I won't repeat what everyone else is saying about you going into it for the wrong reasons which I agree with.

You say jobs where you live are scarce because you're rural...what on earth makes you think you're going to find an MFL job in a nearby school? With cutbacks in schools, MFL is one of the departments which are being made smaller so very few teachers. Or worse MFL teachers spending a lot of time teaching subjects that aren't their own. How many jobs are out there for you?

I don't think I've ever heard a 100% happy teacher, my mum had teacher friends, exmil was a teacher and DPs Ex is a TA / getting a degree from the OU and not even one has said it's easy. I know it won't be easy, dealing with a teenagers day and night who frankly would be rather bee on their phones and see my subject as a complete waste of time must be a exhausting. Now that I remember I know another teacher who instead went on to be a policeman. But then again... I'm fluent in two other languages, have worked as a journalist and written academic papers. Passing any of that knowledge would possibly be my biggest reward. Again, not many opportunities here, and working at ASDA (M&S closed down!) seems just as physically demanding obviously sans making my brain work. I want something that is mentally challenging and teaching does tick that box.

I'm in the middle of my PGDE year and I have 3 children. I cannot imagine doing this with a newborn. It is a constant and relentless struggle to fit everything in.

It's not a question of coping academically, it's finding time to do everything to a standard you're happy with. It's a year of compromising on family life and also feeling like you should always be doing more study/reading.

But I'm having a ball! I love it! You've got to really really want it. Don't do it because you think it's a convenient job or you'll be miserable.

@wombat I just did a quick search and there are about 10 within commuting distance. Depending on the level I'd be happy to teach many of the humanities subjects

Another mature entrant to teaching with a family.... now ex teacher.

I'm going to be blunt.

OP, you're not taking on board any of the feedback you're being given here. You clearly haven't a clue what you're going into. You have no idea of the pressures and demands. And you're not planning on finding out! You're just going to dive in because there's a bursary.

I don't think you'll get through the selection process. You've got no commitment, no interest in checking whether it's right for you, and ... and this is a really crucial bit .... you're apparently unable to accept feedback and reflect on your practices.

I think saying that it's just for the bursary would be quite reductive. I know what is available to me, most of the other employment options don't offer any space for quality family life. Particularly with my DD who I have shared custody of. From the new year I'll have to have two jobs to make ends meet, one will be working every other weekend. I think as part of the recruitment process they'll make me sit/shadow some other MFL teacher which will make it clear if it's the right thing for me. I am very confident I have a lot to give to prospective students.

space for quality family life not in teaching!

working every other weekend kiss goodbye to the free weekend!

shadow you need to sort that for yourself to demonstrate some level of effort & interest before you even apply.

You're not listening. Reflecting & changing your behaviour in response is a key part of how you learn to teach and you are failing this aspect spectacularly.

Teaching is not family friendly, very far from it. I'd rather work 2 jobs in a supermarket than go anywhere near the job again.