I'm afraid this is a big RANT!
My grandmother is sadly in the last stages of dementia, a condition she has had for many years.
Many years ago, when my aunt left her husband and children for another man, she moved back in with my grandparents (leaving her husband to raise the children) where she has remained for the last 15 years. During this time she has contributed nothing towards bills etc and goes away on holidays every other month. She loves kittens and puppies and now has four dogs (all living at my grandparents) and three cats. Every time an animal is no longer a baby she buys another, younger one. The cats aren't cared for well at all and often vomit, urinate etc throughout the house.
My grandparents are very elderly and really do need to be in a home where they can get the full time care they need. My mum goes over there every day and they have some wonderful carers who come in twice a day but its not enough. Every time anyone tries to suggest they look to go into a a home my grandpa's answer is always "We have to stay here as 'aunt' will have nowhere else to go'.
My grandpa hates being alone and isn't coping well with my Nan's condition but every time he stands up to my aunt she tells him she will leave and they he'll have to cope alone which sends the poor chap into a panic. She does NOTHING to help them. They have had to hire a cleaner on their limited income as she won't even contribute to the housework!
Now here's the bit that really gets to me. She puts endless posts on Facebook about how much she does for my grandparents. She boasts that she is there only carer and its such a struggle. Not a word of this is true. As soon as there is an issue she calls my mum to come over and sort it, day or night. Her friends are clearly none the wiser as they comment that she is a saint and deserves so much better when in reality she has done nothing other than call my mum.
When her partners mother died she 'announced' the poor woman's passing within ten mins of her taking her last breath! All is a bid to get attention!
A few months ago my Nan was taken into hospital and my dad popped round to sit with my grandpa whilst my mum sat with my Nan in the hospital. My aunt came home from work (in the car that he paid for) and my grandpa asked if she would drive him to the hospital later. Her response was "No, I'm tired call a taxi if you want to go that badly" She then disspeared off to her room with a bottle of wine and the fish and chips she had fetched for herself (she didn't ask if my grandpa wanted anything) and left him with my dad. (Don't worry, dad fed grandpa and Nan was home by the evening) An hour later shes back on Facebook with "Washed out after spending afternoon comforting dad whilst poor mum in hospital" SHE NEVER LEFT HER ROOM!
She drinks a bottle or two of wine and night (well, she can afford it!) and then posts on Facebook the following morning that she "suffering another one of my crippling migraines and feel awful about missing work again". Again, endless sympathetic comments from her friends.
The final nail in the coffin came this week. I am 21 weeks pregnant with my first and its being a tad stressful leading up to the 20 week scan and my husband and I were really looking forward to having our minds put to rest. Anyway, on the morning of my scan the doctors informed my mum that my Nan only has a few weeks left. Knowing my aunts love of Facebook she polity asked her not to post anything as she wanted to call me after my scan, once I was home, to break the news gently. My aunt agreed. Ten mins later 'Just found out mum has only a few weeks left to live but I'm planning to stay strong and make sure they are the best weeks' on her feed! Cue the "you're so wonderful" "thinking of you" comments from her poor unknowing friends!
This has been going on for years and years. It devastates my poor mother but she won't say anything as she doesn't want to upset my grandparents. Not that anything she said would be listened to anyway as my aunt has complete control over my grandpa.
I live three hours away but I visit as often as I can. I've wanted to say something 1000 times but my mum always begs me not to. I've muted the silly women on Facebook but I hate the thought that she uses it to declare to the world that she is a saint when really she's nothing more than a manipulative sponger!
What would you do?