Tips for bonding with your pre-teen?

[satsumahammock]

I feel like I'm losing my son since he started year 7. He doesn't want to participate in family life much, rarely wants a cuddle, doesn't want to play board games.

Can anyone suggest some good/fun things I can do with him to help us bond?

I always think cooking is good for this. It doesn’t look too try hard, good skill for him to learn and can take as long as you want.

Do you drive?

The car is your friend! Secondary school typically means new friendships who live further away = child needs taking to and from playdates etc and will be although mine wasn't super-grateful for the lifts. PLUS time in the car = good for chatting!

(and giving lifts to friends means earning lots of parent points AND the opportunity to ear-wig on their conversations, because they forget you are there, listening madly!)

I agree with the car.
Also try some new things - he will come back to family times and board games eventually I promise. My 20 and 23 year olds will join in all the family games over Christmas.

You have to find mutual interests, which in effect means you have to be interested (or pretend to be) in what he enjoys. There will be things he loves, don't dismiss them as they matter to him now and however hard it is you need to feign an interest in the music / sport / computer games that he loves.

Some suggestions - find a good box set that you can both watch, mine liked some quite corny stuff at that age like Friends. Bowling, skating, cinema, food of any description. Escape rooms are a brilliant family treat but a bit expensive to do often.

Definitely car trips
Watching a Netflix tv series together (ds and I do this for half an hour most evenings)
Dog walks

Also pub meal out just the two of us once in a while

He won't come on dog walks very often but I will keep trying. I agree that the lack of car journeys since he started secondary has contributed to the loss of our closeness. Why do kids love to chat on car journeys so much?!

Any recommendations for good Netflix series we could watch together?

We watch IT Crowd, Big Bang Theory, Blackadder, Designated Survivor on Netflix. Also Modern Family, Apprentice, Dragons Den.
Some of these are a 15 certificate, I know.

Box sets can be tricky if you don't want to be faced with Unexpected Adult Scenes. I still hate that now DSs are adults.
Time travel, super powers and Armageddon seem to go down well with pre teen boys.
I enjoyed all these, they are not aimed at children but are family friendly.
Scorpion crime fighting team with genius powers
Frequency - Father and daughter cops talk to each other through time portal.
Travellers - people from the future come back to fight evil.