Please help me make a decision regarding these hours

[Isthechangetoobig]

Would you consider working 4pm-midnight M-F if you have young children?

I have been a SAHM since eldest was born (she's nearly 4) and I'm looking to get back into work. The evening job appeals to me due to childcare costs.

Due to location I wouldn't be home until between 1am-1.30am. Then up again at 7am for preschool run.

2yo would join nearly 4yo at preschool for 3 hours a day which allows me to nap. I would have a few hours with them after pick up before taking them to a child minder who will have them until DP picks them up after work, so 2-3 hrs (roughly 3-5/6pm).

Once my nearly 4yo starts school in September I won't have any solid time with her until the weekend and this is making my decision very difficult. If I get the job and all is well I would try to request a deduction in hours so I can pick up DC1 from school, no longer need a child minder, spend a bit of time together and then head to work once DP is home.

The financial aspect is brilliant. The sleep pattern is not. And not spending the evenings with my family M-F is very upsetting. What would you do?

Lots of fathers do night shifts/ evening shifts. It’s a sensible way if sharing childcare and not ha Jung massive childcare bills. My husband and I used to do the same. Sleeping may be an issue though- you may not be able to nap easily in the day.

Bluewidow yes this is what I've been telling myself too. It's just such a big change but I think a positive one all round.

I think that sounds really difficult. If you could sleep longer in the morning jog it could work but realistically you won't be asleep until 2/230 (and that's assuming you can switch off and sleep pretty quickly) so you're looking at 4ish hours sleep. I think that would break me.

What is the job is it physical / stressful / mentally exhausting?

Shift work is a great blessing when you have a family, and you can spread the care between the two parents. I did it for years - evening and night shifts - and it worked really well. Once you get into a pattern , everyone gets used to it and it becomes "the new normal". You'll really appreciate the weekends and make the most of them. Give it a try - and best wishes !

These are very similar to my hours. I do 5 - 1am, but i don't get to bed until 3 and am up at 7. It's not for everyone, but suits me as I have all day in the school holidays with my daughter and in term time, still get to do drop off and pick up (which I wouldn't if I did a 9 - 5).
The lack of sleep and not being around of an evening sucks, but needs must.

Thanks for your thoughts babysharkah. It isn't a stressful job in any way. It's a desk job specialising in the production of documents. Something I enjoy actually.

The pay is better due to the unsociable hours but with DP continuing to pay the bills I could use my earnings to pay for childcare, contribute a big chunk of it to a deposit for a mortgage and we'd both have some money left for luxuries. So the financial aspect is very appealing and a very positive one for us as a family.

I guess with the sleep I'll just pray I get used to it, hope I fall into a pattern where I'm used to napping etc. And if all else fails hand my notice in!

Birdie6 Thank you. You're right in it becoming the new normal. I guess it just takes some adjusting.

My thoughts too regarding the weekend.

Thank you and same to you

I think it’s a foot back through the employment door, so it’s a start.

Is there scope for flexibility in hours? I wouldn’t go in ‘expecting’ it, if it’s not that type of company/job.

And I don’t think it’s relevant thats lots of fathers do night shift, as that doesn’t affect you at all. It all depends on what is right for you.

I think if you don’t try you’ll never know. Assuming you have 3-6 months probabation, that gives you time to get to know the company and the likelihood of flexibility in the future etc before you emotionally commit yourself to the job if that makes sense.

Thank you Biggles398 I didn't even think of that! Being able to spend the school holidays together I mean. So that's made me feel brighter already!

boringlyboring I think there could be some flexibility but not until I'm in there first. You are right, the probation period is a good chance to see if it works well. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I work those hours, but only 3 days a week. I'm up at 6am for the DC. It works for childcare, being able to go to school assesmblies etc and for getting stuff done in the daytimes, ie food shop.

I think it helps if you're an evening person. I'm not, more of a lark, so I find it tough going. When it comes to my first day "off", I'm tired and good for nothing, snappy and in bed by 9. DH also misses me in the evenings.

There's pros and cons as with everything really! You can only give it a go and see how it goes.

I would really struggle with not seeing my DD in the week and not seeing DH. At the moment I work full time getting a very short amount of time with DD in the evenings but it’s really precious for me.
I can see the benefits tho for during the school holidays so I guess I would balance it with that.

I'd give it a go. But from the very start I'd be strict with myself about sleep times and that weekends are 100% family time. No housework, no supermarket trips.
Get a cleaner. Do online shopping. Have a rota which distributes chores evenly and fairly.