Do you ever sit and think about your past and the things you wish you'd done/not done?

[JustWingingLifeAsUsual]

Just having one of them days where I am thinking about the past and the shit things I have done. Of course we cannot change it now but I can't help and think what I should've done differently. I had a good friend from school until almost adulthood but I ditched her and made friends with someone else, who then ended up ditching me and started to become a horrible bitch to me and obviously haven't spoken to her since. Now I am almost 30 and I have no friends apart from one who I've been friends with ever since Juniors school and a couple more who is more like a hello/goodbye and meet very rarely. I am a family woman now with 1 DS and a husband but still... It's karma to be honest! After the way I've treated someone, I deserve it but I just sat here silently crying about how much I regret it. I feel like messaging her and just apologising profusely about the way I've been with her even though it was years ago... Is that a good idea? I don't even know anymore. so many things I wish I could change and make better! My anxiety is through the roof today that's probably why I'm feeling like this!

You could. Would it make you feel better? Be prepared for the following to happen:
a. no response
b. positive response
c. negative response

How would you feel about each of those senarios?

I think your energy might be better spent on the future rather than the past. What would you like to happen in 2019?

“Anxiety is fear of the future, depression is holding onto the past. Live in the moment”

Not sure who said this but it made sense to me.

Are you thinking about this friend because you feel lonely in the present maybe? Would you be concerned with contacting them if you were content now? I am thinking that this is not the solution to your current situation.

It is easy to look at where we are and blame our past actions for it. But really look at where you at now. Is it so bad? What can you change?

Thank you both for your lovely replies! I was having a moment of madness there. I will not be contacting her as she has moved on with her life now and so there's no point digging up what's happened.

I think I'm just not happy with how things are. We are having financial problems and we've had not a break for a long time because of it so I think my husband and I are just burned out.