Wwyd? Funeral and works christmas do.

[TulipsInbloom1]

Need help deciding what to do. I should prefix this with me saying I want to attend work christmas drinks. I know they arent everyones cup of tea but we are a small team and ive only been there a year.

A close family friend lost his dad last weekend. His dad is someone we have holidayed with, and seen at wider family events (theirs and ours). I would like to attend. The funeral is 11.30am.

Work drinks start at 2.30, for a couple of hours, then along to a bar near the office. I need to be home by 7.30pm.

I want to attend both, however cant decide-

1. Head into work for 8.15am, work til 11am, take flexi to attend funeral, then back to the office for 2.30pm. I dont think we are allowed to be "on the clock" for the drinks so I wont clock back in.

Or

1. Take a days annual leave, attend funeral from home, taxi over to work for 2.30pm for drinks.

I dont want to use a days leave, to then go in to work as it just feels a waste. But option 1 is a right faff.

I have a couple of jobs I need to do that morning at work, but a colleague would pick those up for me if asked. I feel guilty asking, even though I know theyd be fine.

Tbh there is every possibility the funeral will affect my desire to have drinks, it was a shock, and the gentleman who passed away was such a character! He was adored by everyone.

Im probably overthinking this. Wwyd?

I don't know how long your working day normally is but opting for no.1 would leave you owing a considerable amount of time. If you regularly work over your normal hours or already have time accrued then fine.

I would probably opt for taking annual leave and not dashing back and forth.

You say the office drinks start at 2.30 and you definitely want to go, so I wouldn't consider it as taking AL in order to go in to work.

I'd just go to the funeral. Work will be there next Christmas.

I'd just go to the funeral. Work will be there next Christmas

I think deep down this is what I want to do. I think this is why Im struggling.

Why can't you do both? How long is the wake likely to be if the funeral is 11.30?

You posted a question about the practicalities of doing both.

Are you saying you feel bad leaving a wake and going on to a happy work event? That's a very different question.

I think I would attend the service only if wanting to do both. I want to do both. I feel like I ought to just do the funeral.

If you are unexpectedly more upset than you think you might be, heading to work drinks might not be the best idea. Work drinks are a funny one. Supposed to be social and fun, but it is ‘work’, and you’re ultimately expected to behave in a way that reflects this.

You can decide on the day whether you go to drinks, can't you?
Go to the funeral, see if you want to go to work drinks or not.

Regarding flexi time etc, can you be bothered to go into work for less than 3 hours?

Is there a gathering in a pub or something after the funeral? There was after my great uncle's and we were there for several hours. It was lovely catching up with people I don't see often and reminiscing, even though the occasion was sad. I'm glad I went.

Ask yourself what your friend's dad would say?

You said you feel you "ought" to go just to the funeral. But why? If you don't feel up to going to the work do then call and say so.

But I see nothing wrong in paying your respects and then going on to your work function after.

This must be a wind up.

I’d just go to the funeral, but if you don’t want to use leave then 1., and decide on the drinks on the day.

User why? Because someone can want to do both?