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Original poster

Tell me what's great about your child being in childcare

23 replies

ABitCrapper · 12/12/2018 14:22

I'm going back to work on January and being really wobbly about putting my 2 year old in childcare.
I'm going back to work for me. I'm fed up of not having money, I'm bored, and I want to be a grown up again.
But it feels really selfish as we don't actually NEED me to work - we can manage. And my 2 year old has never really been left with anyone before - only dh for a couple of hours. So he's going to be really upset.

So if anyone could tell me what their child has gained from childcare, that would be really helpful.

OP posts:
Thestral · 12/12/2018 14:23

Confidence, social skills, and he gets to play with glitter regularly without me needing to clear it up.

EssentialHummus · 12/12/2018 14:26

I'm fed up of not having money, I'm bored, and I want to be a grown up again.

This is a good enough reason imo - you’ll likely be a better parent for doing it.

DD has 1.5 days of childcare a week, at 16 months. I get another adult’s input into her development and she has the opportunity to play with another child the same age and get used to listening to/being with another adult. This is a nanny-share, but fwiw babies I know in nursery/childminder settings are coming on very well. It’s controversial on here but I see the benefits.

FlyingCat · 12/12/2018 14:26

Brilliant manners, confidence, sociability, better routine than i ever managed, the example of a working mother proving that women can take on either role in a family...

And your ds may surprise you and love nursery. Both my daughters have.

Interested in this thread?

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Childcare & nursery Families
randomsabreuse · 12/12/2018 14:27

Doing craft without me having to be involved!!!! Socialising with other children. Happier mum!

90mammasophie · 12/12/2018 14:40

My dd is now 4yo and just started school nursery. She was with a childminder (at childminders home) since I went back after maternity. She was approx 8months old.
It was a lovely set up, home from home environment. She became very happy and comfortable in their home, with their own child and a few others. All the kids stayed for the few years before nursery and are now in the same class at the school. They really love each other and are so brilliant at sharing / playing together nicely.
It lovely to see. A lot of its down to the childminder who provided a nurturing, happy environment.

I think the child being looked after in someone's home is much nicer than a nursery. A family environment.

Rainshowers · 12/12/2018 14:53

My daughter started at a similar age. She loved nursery. It helped her social skills, her communication and she learnt a lot.

For me it meant I got cute handmade mother’s day cards, two days where I didn’t have to think about food (she loved nursery food!) and my house stayed tidy when we were all at work/nursery!

Like you I didn’t have to work, we could manage on DH’s salary but it meant we could afford extras and on my days off I curls really enjoy spending time with DD

mygrandchildrenrock · 12/12/2018 14:59

I work in a Nursery School that takes children from 2-4 years old. We've always taken 3 & 4 yr olds and started taking 2 yr olds a few years ago. I knew we'd be doing a service to parents/social workers etc. taking 2 yr olds but I had no idea how much the children would love it.
2 yr olds are in a ratio of 3 children to 1 adult, they genuinely enjoy coming to nursery and playing with or alongside other children and the staff. We have more space than most homes and a large outdoor area with a sand pit they can get in and dig. We have more toys than most homes, plenty of paint and paper and everyday the 2 yr olds smile and have fun, even if there are a few tears at drop off!
I often think how much fun they seem to have and am so glad we take little ones.

gamerwidow · 12/12/2018 15:02

The biggest positive for DD as an only was being able to play with other children and learn how to share and take turns.
Our CM is amazing she does so much more with DD in terms of activities than I’d ever have time to do.

Camomila · 12/12/2018 15:04

DS 2.8 absolutely loves nursery, he only ‘needs’ to be there for 1 day so I can only my uni stuff but we scrimp on other stuff so we can still keep him doing 3 days like when I was working.
He has a very outgoing personality and loves the hustle and bustle of nursery and the giant garden (we live in a flat).
His nursery have a lot of extras included in the fees like music sessions/tennis/Spanish....stuff that would be harder to organise by myself (non driver) plus expenisve!

I think it depends on their development as well, a ‘younger’ 2 might benefit more from a cm/nanny but I think a lot of older 2/3 year olds like thinking that they go to ‘school’ like big children.

Starface · 12/12/2018 15:52

My daughters went to childminders. They loved their friends. They enjoyed a mix of ages so they knew people at the school when they started. They enjoyed the focus on play and less attention on chores that I had. They got used to it, and after a short time both went in happy and came out happy. However I echo previous posters in that it is totally dependent on the detail- find childcare that you are happy with. This has crucial to my satisfaction.

I was happier when i was with them, so they got a better experience of me too. I needed to work financially, but we are set up that way because I knew I mentally need to work so we could put ourselves in that position. Absolutely the most important thing for the child is a happy mum. A depressed mum will be less able to be the mum they want and need to be. So prioritising your self-care is actually prioritising what your child needs too. The two do not conflict, actually they go hand in hand.

NeopreneMermaid · 12/12/2018 16:00

I felt like I was outsourcing my motherhood when I went back to work. Within a month I realised that DD actually benefited from not being with me all the time. She became a much less fussy eater, more social and bilingual (CM spoke another language with her at our request).

MiseryLoves · 12/12/2018 16:01

If you can afford (and depending on when I’m january you start) it I would see if the nursery/childminder will take him for a morning/afternoon once or twice a week to get him used to going. Going from never leaving you to always being apart from you is a huge thing (presuming you’re going back full time)

OlobobTop · 12/12/2018 16:10

DS was a slow talker but since he started nursery he has learnt so so much, you can have a proper conversation with him now. He absolutely loves going, has made lots of friends and has learnt to play well with others. He used to scream when we dropped him off but after a few weeks he was running in and barely looking back to say goodbye. Now he screams cos he doesn't want to come home 😂

Original poster
ABitCrapper · 12/12/2018 16:13

Thanks everyone.
He is a very bright, active, and social little boy. He hates toddler groups as he doesn't like being confined to a room, so I've changed my mind on nursery, and am now looking for a childminder instead.
I have 3 weeks of January to settle him in gradually before I start 3 days a week.
Being able to hand over glitter and paint duties is definitely a plus! Grin

OP posts:
Sashkin · 12/12/2018 16:27

Somebody else gets to do messy play, somebody else gets to enforce turn-taking and sharing, they have far more toys and play equipment than we could ever offer (it’s not worth buying every toy going for one child, but if you are buying for twelve children you can have a huge range of options). Big outdoor space, games with other children.

He eats a much wider range of food at nursery than he does at home (peer pressure). And sits nicely at a table for nursery meals, helps with nappy changes, helps with getting dressed and undressed. He knows he can play the baby with us but nursery won’t pander to him. I was shocked when I saw him come in from playing outside and take his own coat and boots off - he just flops on the floor and whines for me to do it at home!

There are downsides - the big one is that I miss him, but he is also being brought up “their way” not my way IYSWIM (I’m quite happy with the nursery but it is a bit sad when he is taught something that I would have taught differently). And there is stuff like nappy changes and eczema creams which I take far more care over than they can with twelve toddlers - his skin is always much better when he is at home for a few days. You have to accept that childcare is more impersonal than Mummy.

Overall though he is happy. He runs off to play without a backwards glance when we arrive in a morning, and has to be dragged away from the toys at night. I do think that the ideal would be 3 days in nursery and 4 days at home, but that isn’t an option for me currently.

LostMyLidlFudge · 12/12/2018 16:30

I'm a better mother because my children are in childcare. Definitely agree about the glitter and craft activities Grin

A good nursery shouldn't have them confined to one room, they should be outdoors regularly and (relatively) free to roam.

Sashkin · 12/12/2018 16:31

Look around the nurseries - ours has a couple of different play “zones” and free access to the outdoors whenever they want. So it doesn’t feel like one room. It’s far bigger in sq m than our flat, more like a sports hall. Childminders are far more likely to just keep them in the living room!

tissuesosoft · 12/12/2018 16:36

DD is with a childminder full time. She is so happy. For her it has improved social skills like learning to share (only child), she goes to soft play (I hate soft play), playgroups, a lot of outdoor play in parks, woods etc. We looked at nurseries but preferred the ‘home’ feel and going out every day

LilyRose16 · 12/12/2018 16:37

Don’t write off nurseries because you think they’ll be confined to one room, I almost hired a child minder and I’m so glad we went with nursery in the end. (No disrespect to childminders of course!)

The best things are:
Your child learning independence
You having some independence back
They are great at teaching manners
Structure
Messy play that you don’t have to worry about
Then gaining confidence
learning how friendships work
How happy they are to see you at the end of the day even though they will have had lots of fun!

Original poster
ABitCrapper · 12/12/2018 18:05

Thanks again.
I have looked round the nurseries and they are all one room with a free flow garden - but they are just an outdoor space with toys. He likes visits to the park, library, shops, museums etc, which he will get with the childminder I have found, but won't get with all our local nurseries - Ive looked round 6!

OP posts:
mortifiedmama · 12/12/2018 18:09

DS adores nursery. They do so much more stuff than I'd do at home. He teaches me new songs, he gets to play with a massive range of toys and they learn so much more than I'd think to teach him. He's so well stimulated there and I barely have to feed him!

I'm going on mat leave soon, and despite having 14 months at home, DS will continue to go to nursery as he loves it so much.

Love51 · 12/12/2018 18:10

If you are poorly you take a sick day and the child is still in childcare, so you get to rest. Best thing about childcare imho!

Buggeroffbingbunny · 12/12/2018 18:12

My DS is just 2 and goes to a childminder 3 days a eeek. He goes out most days, to craft groups, forest school, the library, toddler groups, the park etc and he loves it. He loves playing with the other children, the routines there are really good for him and I like that he does lots of enriching activities that I just wouldn’t have thought of at home!

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