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What is actually the best way to actually help my SIL?

2 replies

TheKitchenWitch · 12/12/2018 13:52

I've posted about her before, she'S in the process of divorcing her husband, has a 6yo dd, and they've moved in wiht her mum while she gets back on her feet. She has also started a business, doing something which she's always done on the side but will now be her main source of income. It's a specialist area, mainly online but she has to have premises/shop for stock and occasional visitors.

Anyway, she has been very reticent about getting the business up and running, so her sister (SIL2) has offered to come into the shop once a week and help with anything that needs doing, sending out packages, dealing with new stock etc. and I offered to help her set up a website and FB page. She never got back to me about it, so nothing happened until a month ago when SIL2 phoned and asked me if I'd come over and discuss it with SIL1 and get it done. She basically asked me not to let it drop, but to just get on with it. And all of it has to be free, she has no budget whatsoever.

So I did it. Took photos, setup the website, did the layout, made a logo for her (to her very specific instructions), all of it. It's ready to go, she's really pleased with it, the only thing it needs is text, because at the moment it's just got dummy text in it (I obviously don't know exactly what she wants to write for each bit). As soon as she's done it, I can do her FB page and start looking to get her registered and linked at various places.

And this is the dilemma: for 3 weeks now, everything has been done and I've been waiting for her to send me text. Nothing. Every time I ask (the 3 of us have a whatsapp group to discuss work things) she has excuses. I even offered to go down to the shop and she could dictate the text to me (!), but she was busy on the only days that I could do it. So she said she'd do it last weekend....and today is WEdnesday and nothing. SIL2 has just phoned to ask me what's going on. So I've put a message in the whatsapp group detailing exactly what she needs to write (how much) for each page on her website....

I want to help her, I really do, but I'm wondering whether actually I'm not just making it worse. It now looks like I'm pushy and not understanding how busy she is and how hard everything is.

What is the right thing to do here?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 12/12/2018 14:36

You need to leave her alone. You're not her mum or handler. If she wants to delay her own progress, that's her prerogative. She knows how to find you if she wants.

TheKitchenWitch · 12/12/2018 15:38

I was (or rather, we were) leaving her alone, and nothing got done, hence SIL2 getting involved. And she (SIL1) always accepts the help - she's never said no thanks, I'm fine.
I would feel really bad if this failed and I felt we hadn't done anything to help. I would also like her to be able to move out of her mum's - they have a very difficult relationship which SIL1 has often complained about to me.

OP posts:
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