Share your shit Christmas presents

[SophieSellerman]

I give you a tin of tuna and a set of paper napkins. Thanks, Granny.

An electric tin opener Thanks Dad. Haven't quite worked out if that's better or worse than the roasting tin he got me the next year....

I raise you USED pillar box red tights

Random shite I've received from ex-h's grandparents. (It's nice that they'd got me something, and they have given me really nice things, like the V&A teapot and sugar bowl/milk jug set) but they've got me some dreadful things. The kids jewellery making craft crap kit, the pill box with the puffy leopard print glittery stuff on top, a white plastic and pretend gold necklace that looked like a ship's chain, a pen with my name on it (there are three pens I use with any regularity, a plain bic biro in black, my Hufflepuff pun that I got from the Platform 9 3/4 shop, and the rose gold one I got from Sainsbo's. The latter two have the bonus of being refillable.) Stuff that's all gone straight to the charity shop. They also gave me a personalised silver plated trinket box that tarnished in about a month, can't get rid of that. I suppose it's the thought that counts.
Last Xmas my inlaws gave me some horrible fluffy slippers that looked like tiger's feet. They went to the charity shop too, they were massive! I then felt guilty when they asked me why I wasn't wearing my slippers. Oh, and a box of Milk Tray, despite my open and fierce hatred of Cadbury's. They're generally pretty good at gift giving, so I had no idea what they were thinking!

I am laughing out loud at these.

I now wish I had suggested some of them to the woman at the side of me in Home Bargains today. She was in a right old state about having to buy something for her “sodding mil”.

Still reading this thread for the joy of ‘I opened it in 1985, Molly’ wahahaaa!

1984. Whatever!

A slinky black minidress, size 8.

At the time I was 16 years old, size 14, and lived in baggy jeans and band hoodies. Which the giver knew.

Thirtyfuckingfour years ago, Dustand the memory remains.

1984... OP, maybe you need to let it go!

Actually, one of the plus points of being old surely must be the ability to do random dotty things like wrap up cans of fish and dole them out as gifts.

I can just imagine the old lady chuckling to herself knowing you'd have to politely say 'Oh thanks Granny, that's really lovely'.

My FIL gave dh (who he ought to know reasonably well, what with being his dad and all) a book called Toilets of Cornwall.

My mum once put the yarn and needles in my stocking for me to knit a scarf for my dad. When I said that I didn’t think this was really a present for me, she guilted me into keeping it by half-heartedly offering to give me the money but adding how much my dad would have loved a scarf knitted by me.

Suzanne the flux capacitor twat surely needs a thread all of her own.

I've been given a humungous clown suit already this year

The kind you need stilts to wear

About size 32 or more probably (I am about a 18-20 so not slim but still 😂)

I've never wanted to be a clown... but have a kind thoughtful granny who obviously thinks I should be one.