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Useless fucking DH

7 replies

Notmytelescope · 11/12/2018 18:42

First of all I am not (quite) ready to be thinking of LTB but could do with some strategies...

DH has lost his job (again) recently so is at home full time. I have recently returned to work part time after 5 years as a SAHM. Dh has in theory been taking on the childcare on the days I work, although we still have them in school/ childcare as we have already paid up till the end of term.

One day he takes and drops off kids, the other days I leave at 7 to drop kids on my way to work then collect at 6 on my way home. he has 2.5 days at home without kids. the rest of the week I am also at home.

On the days he has taken them to school I have found that they have been taken in dirty uniform. Buttons not done up, hair not brushed DDs teacher has had to redo DDs hair on several occasions. Today was DS xmas show and although DH went to watch he didnt send DS with the required Xmas jumper.

So far this week he has been to the supermarket twice but there is still nothing for dinner tonight... and most nights I end up throwing something together after I get home at 6.30.

As a result of these I am turning into a massive nag. All I want is for him to think for himself and do a basic job. He says I am too fussy!
(I am not putting this in AIBU because I know I’m not!)

How can I get him to buck his ideas up without just having a rant everynight? And if this cant be resolved LTB might seem a more desirable option in the future?...

OP posts:
Simonsaysitschristmas · 11/12/2018 18:48

Have you asked him to remember how he would feel being taken to school dirty, or being the only one who couldn’t wear a Christmas jumper. He isn’t being fair to your children (or you!)

Aquamarine1029 · 11/12/2018 18:51

He offers absolutely nothing positive to your life. Why are you tolerating this? Send the cocklodger packing.

BlankTimes · 11/12/2018 18:55

Show him this, show him he needs to step up, you are not his manager, you should share tasks equally.

english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

CircleofWillis · 11/12/2018 18:55

Not to downplay the sheer uselessness of your husband but do you think he might be suffering from depression? Losing two jobs in quick succession might be affecting his MH and his ability to cope.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 11/12/2018 18:59

Blank, I was going to post that. It sums it up perfectly. Tell him he has to learn to think and not let home affairs wash over him.

Leeds2 · 11/12/2018 19:04

This would annoy me beyond belief. I would hate for my DC to go to school unkempt/without the correct clothes etc.

But, do you think OH is feeling depressed about losing (another) job? Is he focusing on applying for new jobs? I think it would really hit me hard if I lost my job in the run up to Christmas, although I would hope that if I did I wouldn't let the DC suffer unless it was unavoidable.

DragonMamma · 11/12/2018 19:07

Fuck that shit. I wouldn’t be putting up with such ineptitude.

Why has he lost another job? He sounds lazy/incompetent as hell.

My DH pled ignorance to all things school related so I made sure he was on the school texting system so he has no excuse. He’s better now.

I will no tolerate or enable pathetically useless men.

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