Does anyone else just feel guilty about Christmas?

[gunge]

The expenditure, the waste etc

I'm trying my best this year to spend less but now I'm thinking I should have done brown wrapping paper and not bothered with cards.

Normally I'm well into it all with gusto but I've lost someone close to me and I'm exhausted/low. So the guilt is even greater.

I have young children so I also want to treat them and make it nice for them of course.

I love Christmas but have started to notice the waste and excess plastic particularly that comes with Christmas.

I'm making some small changes this year:

Wrapping paper that is recyclable and made from recycled paper

I'm not buying any plastic toys for toddler DD (so she's getting a wooden tea set and solid wood table and chair)

I'm in the process of researching what eco friendly Christmas crackers are available

I think the things I object to the most and have been noticing for a few years are the shiny wrapping paper that can't be recycled and the plastic shite tat in Christmas crackers that ends up in the bin by the end of the day.

Next year I'm going to make my own crackers. And buy all eco friendly paper. I've just not had the energy this year to think outside the box.

i dont do many christmas cards and only buy plain ones that can be recycled no glittery ones, i put presents in gift bags and any i get in gift bags i keep them and uses them again, dont do crackers waste of time and money, i use linen napkins on christmas day, give my grandchildren money so they can add it to any other money they get and get one big present from several people instead of lots of small tat pressies, god i sound like the grinch but im not just trying to make christmas simpler as im working most of it any way

Don’t worry! Just do your bit, that’s enough. Small changes matter.
I am sorry for your loss, and hope some Christmas magic finds you.

To be fair I'm sure my wrapping is recyclable. I've not bought any bows or ribbon. Haven't bought any more decorations either. Advent calendars are card and recyclable.
A few plastic toys/stocking fillers unfortunately but not many.
Food will be mostly homemade and not wasted.

Thanks RickOShay

Despite grief I am still looking forward to the things that matter I think.

I have bought brown paper which I will stamp with a Merry Christmas stamp. I also make my own decorations for presents out of foliage from the garden. I recycle Christmas card into labels. I make my own cakes and biscuits. I have bought a Christmas jumper from Oxfam. All my cards are from Oxfam. It isn’t much but it’s a start.

I agree OP. I'm using up all my cards, wrapping paper, crackers from previous years (actually we probably won't pull the crackers, i think I've them for about 5 years at this point!) and next year it'll be brown parcel paper, significantly reduced card list and no glitter on the cards i do buy. In fact, next year I'm going to go all in on reducing our wasteful ways (we're not super wasteful, but could definitely do better). Problem is my 2 year old loves plastic tat! I want to try to influence her to reduce waste at a young age.

Sorry for your loss op, and i hope you have a merry Christmas with your children

Great ideas. I will keep cards this year and make them into labels for next year. We use greenery/foliage to decorate the house too.
It's all the packaging on presents I hate.

I’m glad it’s not just me. I work in a place that encourages Christmas excess. By the end of the day I’m just in a state of dismay at the waste of materials and money.

I definiately buy less "stuff" now. I used to but a.lot of things just to make a present or to equal out what I'd spent but I dont worry about that now.

I am bothered about my team at work though. I need around 20 'token' gifts and I know that whatever I get no one will really want/use it. Even if I get chocs or wine there will be some who don't want it.

I recycle cards as labels for the following year, and recycle last years wrapping paper either for stocking filler wrapping or to wrap baubles in to protect them.

I have always hated gimmicky presents. DH buys them for DC every year and every year I find them unopened half way through the year. This year I had words with him not to, but he's still come home with some chocolate 'pizzas' for DC. At least they are edible.

Also had to nag DH not to buy a massive turkey. There's only five of us. He says he wants meat left over but there is always meat left over and we feed the fox in the garden expensive turkey every bloody year. Though I suppose that's only a waste of money, not food, as it's still feeding a creature in winter.

I volunteered on Oxfam over last January and the amount of stocking fillers and Christmas themed stuff that arrived by the 1st week back to school was astounding.

It made me determined stockings would be consumables and things that they'd want anyway. Wrapping paper is all recyclable and I'm not going to bother with ribbons.

I'm currently struggling with the fact dcs need Christmas jumpers for their school Christmas lunch day, except both won't wear them again over Christmas period so it's a massive waste. At least last year I got dc1 a jumper that was too big by accident so it still fits this year, but I need to buy one tomorrow for dc2 and it feels so wasteful, dc2 doesn't like jumpers (oddly hot all the time child), so it won't get worn other than for the lunch.

My local Oxfam had rows of Christmas jumpers in perfect condition for sale.

I refuse to buy Christmas jumpers. We have Santa hats/Rudolph antlers which get worn every year instead.
Last year my very creative DD made a Christmas pudding badge to pin on a nice red cardigan which she wore anyway

I have ditched the non recyclable paper, will use a stamp as a tag and have bought mainly wooden / classic toys for DC. Everyone else is having what they have asked for and nothing else. Taking a gamble when buying a present is potential charity shop donation nowadays because everyone already has everything they need.

I LONG for the day that this happens to us in return. My eldest DD was specific about the presents she wanted from family members this year and I have insisted that she is not bought additional 'extras', but have been told that other stuff has been bought for her including a fucking Xmas Disney jumper to be opened and probably not worn on Xmas day

I don't feel so guilty about Xmas this year. I used to though and that's why I made a change this year. I will get better each year too

Sadly our charity shops didn't have jumpers in dc2's size. So we went for a sweatshirt style that wasn't too Christmassy, hopefully will get worn a few times over winter before being outgrown.

Fighting the tat is hard. My parents seem to think dcs need a number of parcels to open, regardless of how wanted things are.

Same and a very close relative died this year too. I've been more aware of 'pointless' things than I was before and things that aren't worth the pressure I put on myself.

I was considering not doing Christmas at all (no dc yet) but then went with a downsized Xmas instead.

Smaller tree and only one, instead of the three we usually get (living room, dining room and outside front door) and no wreath.
Cards addressed to whole families instead of individual ones and not sent to eveyone I've ever met. (Felt like that some years)
Not buying new paper etc as I have some from last year's sales.
Not as many presents and they're all useable things so stuff to wear, eat or stationery/books.
Not getting food in 'just in case' on top of the extra food we actually have plans for.
And no pressure to do any of it if I didn't feel like it.

It still feels just as festive around here. The smaller tree is much better than the huge beast we usually get. Presents beautifully wrapped and cards were written in about 15 minutes instead of 2 hours. I don't feel any overspending guilt like usual and I'm not worrying about getting things done because it doesn't really matter.

I think I've stopped caring as much but in a good way!

Can imagine it's 100% trickier with young dc though. There's so much Christmas themed everything everywhere. The pressure to buy stuff must be huge.

I try and not buy too much plastic-y tat for the kids stockings etc and get stuff which is fun xmas morning - but also for a few months after e.g. colouring stuff, baking sets.

EnidButton even with three young kids I've managed to cut back and simplify. We've actually had some lovely times just walking and watching a Christmas film together. Even though I'm grieving, I'm a much calmer mum because I'm not putting the pressure on myself. And that rubs on the kids in a good way

I agree with the charity shop comments, I also work in a charity shop and we will be inundated with unwanted gifts (especially teacher gifts) in the New Year, sometimes we get presents with just a bit of wrapping paper ripped off as if the recipient has had a quick look and decided they don’t like the gift . I also help in a Food Bank and we get given loads of boxes of chocolates, excess Christmas cakes and puddings, all sorts of ‘hamper gift food’, at least most of this can be given away to people who will appreciate it.

The excessive waste and consumerism at Christmas is really quite shocking.

gunge those are things people remember when they grow up. I do anyway Giving ourselves permission to be more relaxed about it all is definitely a good thing.

Yes - guilt guilt guilt! I'm going to be careful this year with regards to tat and packaging as much as I can. I'm also feeling guilty about all the plastic crap that is currently in my house that the children no longer play with. Most of it will be destined for re-use, hopefully before it is recycled, but I keep imagining this multiplied by all the homes in the country and it's a bit mind blowing!

I've just moved some furniture and found an enormous plastic bag thing - have no idea what it was for it where it came from and now I don't know what to do with it- will try and recycle. I guess it's great that I have finally woken up to the problem but now can't help seeing waste everywhere.

I think 2019 is going to have to be the year that I change my ways once and for all with regards to waste because just recycling is no longer enough - I need to stop this stuff coming into my home! My goodness it's going to be a major culture shock though because it's literally everywhere!

Ps, I stopped sending cards years ago, after a few years of writing and not sending - glad that finally have a damned good excuse for that one!