Another birthday party dilemma.

[secretsoutherncomfortdrinker]

It's coming up to my ds' birthday and they'd like to have a laser tag party, I've found a venue but can only really afford to take 8 kids including my dcs, they are fine with this and I've told them they can choose 3 friends each.
Now my dilemma is how can I invite these children without the others feeling left out? I usually do a whole class party, but because it's so soon after Xmas it starts to get too expensive.
So wwyd?

Are your DC twins? If not, how come the non-birthday child is allowed as many friends as their brother?

Yes they're twins!

It just gets to a point where they don't have everyone in the class to the parties. They pretty much all start having smaller parties so it generally evens out. They just invite their closest friends and the rest don't get invites. There is nothing else you can do.

I can't see a problem with not having a whole class party - surely not eveyone does that?

At some point, you do have to cut down and choose just a few. I find as they get older the party becomes experiences, which are more expensive (and logistically harder to manage)

Is 3 friends each not enough?

DS1 is unfortunately in a large, close crowd of friends so I can understand - he's had the same 9/10 friends to every party in the last 4 years...however, at a pinch I think I could make him choose the closest out of them.

Phew! (Sorry, I just thought it was really odd that non-birthday child could invite the same number as the birthday child and had to check!)

It will be fine. So long as they don't make a big deal of it in front of others people will understand.

Of course 3 friends each is more than enough, I think it's just my own guilt I don't like leaving kids out.

It’s fine, they just say “I was only allowed to invite a few people.

I have twins and they are different classes, as a result we’ve never had a whole class party as 60 children is far too many.

How old are they?

Mine are in y3 and they wanted a pottery painting party last time. They had six each so plus them it was all the girls in the class. I would have felt uncomfortable leaving only a couple of the girls out.

If they're older it wouldn't even cross my mind. While class parties were only a thing in reception here.

Just dont give the invites out at school,then they are none the wiser.

They'll be 8 so are in yr3.
As I said I've done the whole class party thing where I've had anything up to 80 kids which included both dcs classes along with friends and family.

@dustarr73 This is my problem, where do I give the invites out?
They plan on giving out Xmas cards so maybe I'll put them in there so nobody knows?

We had a lazer tag party, 8 is enough as they get very excited. It'll be fine, fairly normal to have a smaller group at this age for parties.

I'm curious - do you not have the contact details of the parents?

I'm not in the UK. Invitations aren't done here - it's usually just an email sent round to the mums of the children who are invited. So you know who is and who isn't.

But we agree at the start of the year to share our email and/or phone numbers on the class list (you can refuse but no-one does) which is incredibly helpful when your child wants to invite another over and you don't know the parents well.

Don't feel worry for the other children who aren't invited. That's the way it goes. And I bet your DC don't play with all the children.

Yes, put them in with the invited children's Christmas cards. I've done that at this time of year
I'd also say, with small numbers, do the invites early so that if one friend can't come, there's time to invite another without it being super obvious that they are a replacement.

DS is 11 and has done smaller parties for a few years now - they quickly get too old for inviting the whole class (thank god!).

We get around the whole issue of not inviting everyone by sending "save the date" emails to the parents followed by digital party invites. I've not sent hard copy invites for ages.

@TchoupiEtDoudou no I only have one mum's details, this is a fairly new school so don't really know many parents very well.
In their previous school we had a class whatsapp group, as well as a private Facebook page which was very helpful.

I'm going to get the invites out this week, their birthday is the first week in January so I would need the rsvps either just before Xmas or straight after so I can book it.

My DD is Y2 and so far the parties this school year have only been for small organised events compared to last year where it was class parties. I think now soft play etc is getting boring and the more adrenaline type activities are in so I would feel guilty.

I think you are fine. I don't think it is so hurtful when the majority of the class are missed out and only a few go.

Unless they are in a class of 10 or something like that!

I've got the invitations to give out today and wanted to know if this was too much info re an R.S.V.P

to child 1 xxx would like you to join him on xxx date for a fun day of laser tag.

Dear parent of child, As this is a pay per child event, I would appreciate an R.S.V.P on or before 27th Dec, so I am able book the and pay for the day.
We will be travelling on the day via train, however you are more than welcome to drive/travel with us if you feel more comfortable doing so. Again as i will be booking in advance, please let me know what you would prefer to do so I am able to pay for the children.

Regards,
Southern.

Does that sound ok or a bit much?

Hardly anyone has a full class party by yr3. Just hand them out, unless they wave them above their heads no one will notice .

Perfect OP