Why am I like this?

[imawfulyes]

I don’t look after myself.
I rarely leave the house.
I don’t do what needs to be done.

Don’t look after myself. I don’t brush my hair or look after my teeth. My diet is horrendous.

I rarely leave the house. Can go for weeks without going out anywhere.

I say to myself that I’ll clean the kitchen and the bathroom today, etc. Then I sit there and say I’ll do it in a minute and then the days gone and I’ve done nothing.

This pattern will continue for months on end where I’ll bury my head in the sand and ignore everything. Then suddenly I’ll think, wtf am I doing?! Right. Tomorrow, I’ll book a dentist appointment, I’ll sort my diet out and clean the house, etc. Something’s got to change. Then I wake up and I’ll bury my head in the sand again.

Why am I like this?

It sounds like depression to me. Have you spoken to a doctor about how you are feeling?
Neglecting yourself isn’t good, as you well know

It is depression in my opinion, having been through it I can see the patterns.
When I start sleeping more and not bothering to do my hair then I know I'm going there again, so I force myself to take care of my self and treat myself to flowers etc, it helps.
Treat yourself well and you'll feel better about yourself.

No ive not spoken to a Doctor.

I don't feel depressed.

And I've been like this for as long as I can remember. Certainly since I was a teen.

Could you have ADHD? I don’t want to diagnose you but you do describe some of the symptoms.

I find a quick run in the morning can help freshen up my brain and get me on track. If not I have to force myself to get up and do things and keep a mantra running through my head about not wasting the day.

It does sound like depression but it also sounds a lot like ADHD. Maybe it's a bit of both.

Do you work at all?

I have a 5 month old baby now so a morning run wouldn't work for me. But honestly, that would be an excuse anyway. I wouldn't go for a run even if I didn't have the baby. My diet is so bad and I'm so unhealthy that walking up the stairs to fast can knacker me.

I did work. Full time. I'm on maternity leave at the moment. But won't be returning because childcare would essentially cancel out my wages anyway.

Even when I was working I was the same. Some days I'd have bursts of activity and my boss would think I'm amazing and other days I just had no energy to do anything. (Most days) and it was like 'I'll do it in a minute...' and then the work just kept building up and up.

I've had comment from bother my previous and current employer about my appearance. Telling me to brush my hair or tuck my tshirt in that's showing out from under my uniform which was my pj top that I'd slept in

I did this for the longest time, is throw on clothes on top of whatever I was wearing during the night,go out and do errands then come back and take the clothes off again and lounge in pjs.
Honestly I never felt like I had depression either but obviously I'm not a Dr so I suggest you do go and talk to your Dr who knows you much better and can give you a diagnosis.
Even little things like taking care of my appearance or tackling one room at a time will make you feel better about things.Eatign right will also make you feel fresher and more energetic.

You sound so much like me!

Seriously, read up on ADHD in women and see how you feel. Only you can make yourself do the things you need to do though. There’s no magic cure unfortunately.

@Sausagefingers9 I just had a look and it sounds exactly like me