any other single mums alone with kids at christmas?

[yummytummy]

so, as usual it's just me and 2 dcs over christmas. it has got easier to deal with over time and we have come up with how to make it a lovely chilled out day. but i do feel sad that they aren't going to get that big family feeling ever. they are lucky in the sense that their dad and his partner have got them some nice gifts etc which are bigger things than i can afford but the one thing i can't give them is a big "advert" family. is anyone else in this position? how do you deal with it? maybe there are ideas i haven't thought of!

Yes im in the same boat....my 3 are 21...20 and 15 and up until 5 years ago we were a family....my husband left and ive been on my own since....we eat lots...drink lots and just chill out together x

Do you have friends or others who are alone at Christmas? Or other single parents? Our families are both overseas and I always missed our big Christmases, so now I make a point of inviting people who would otherwise be alone for the lunch, so we have a family morning, then a lateish lunch with guests, then the DCs watch a movie or kick a ball while we clear up and chat as adults and then have the evenings to ourselves. We are a little picky now about who, after we once invited an elderly near neighbour who turned out to be incredibly grumpy and a bit racist (we're a mixed race family, so it was a slightly awkward lunch), but generally it's been so much fun to have new people! We ask for no gifts but some food that's traditional for them, or a game to play. It's not added much to our costs to have one or 2 people over, but if it's more you could easily order a lot of the food premade online and split costs too.

No don't know anyone else who is alone. The single mums I know all have wider families to be with and all other friends have some sort of relative. It just makes me feel like no one else is in this situation but there must be some

Yes. Just me and my 3 year old for Christmas this year

Honestly OP a kind and loving family of the three of you is a lovely thing. There are lots of people in terrible DV and toxic family situations and for your dcs having a safe loving envrionment will be enough. Nice food and movies and maybe a board game or jigsaw.

Thankyou superstarburst that's so sweet of you to say. I just hope kids don't look back and feel they missed out on anything

Not a single parent but only child in very small family here. Growing up, Dad worked away a lot so it was often just me and Mum at Christmas. No relatives to visit and friends all had typical 'family' Christmases (they probably weren't all perfect, it just seemed that way).

So Christmases were very, very quiet. We did the traditional things though and I remember it all as a happy festive time. Yes it would have been great for things to have been different, to have the big, boisterous, social family Christmas the media tell us we should be having - but however wistful I might be, I have never once blamed my parents for it, there was nothing they could have done, it was simply the way our family was. We couldn't conjure relatives out of nowhere!

Plus, as PPs have pointed out, that media imagery isn't the case for all. I'd rather my tiny but happy Christmas to a large unhappy one any day. What I'm trying to say is that I get your concern... but it sounds like you already make Christmas festive and fun for your kids and that's all that's needed. You don't need to try too hard.

I was on my own with my two young kids last year. It was bliss after an extremely stressful December.
We cuddled in bed opening stockings, broke all the 'no eating in bed or chocolate for breakfast' rules and had a very peaceful day. A few neighbours popped in for drinks but to be honest we just wanted to be together on our own.
I always get a new game that 'santa' gives the family to play in the afternoon which helps and a new movie.
I feel sad they and I don't have the big family thing but they will remember love and fun and laughter which is the main thing. And so will yours

It's just me and the DC's on Xmas eve, day and boxing day. Although we will stay with family over the new year.

I'd rather just the three of us than a miserable family day. No trouble fitting around the table or getting the roast in the oven.

“Family” Christmases are the worst!!! Seriously, the kids and I are much happier without having to travel, or be stuck in a small room with people we don’t like. Real life isn’t like adverts. We’ve had to do “family” Christmases in the past and hated it, as you can probably guess...don’t feel sad, you’re doing fine as you are!

oh bless you thanks for all the lovely replies! i guess when you don't have something you imagine the ideal picture perfect scenario but i'm sure it could be stressful to be in a tense family environment too. the grass always seems greener! but we love being together and the kids love snuggling up and watching films etc so thankyou for making me feel better about it!

The alternate years when it's just me and dd, we have such a lovely time! She chooses whatever food she wants us to have for the whole day - one year we had indian picnic bits for our lunch - we watch films, play games. 2 years ago I planned a treasure hunt for 5pm ish with a couple more presents at the end. If you are happy, they will be happy :)

Op the advert family is that, only in the ad and like every other ad its not true and heavily edited.

So so so so so many people can't stand the family adverts.

Your dc will never miss what they don't have. Their Xmas is what's the norm to them and unless you moan about mo big Xmas they will never miss one. I'm sure you make it special for them and they will have memories to treasure.

Op I have many deceased relatives on my side, last year I felt we should try again with dh family for that big Xmas. I had thread on here today saying what a disaster it was.

I have much more confidence in our own Xmas now. Honestly..

I have kids 14, 2 and 5 months old. 16000km away in Australia. So no family. But going to a bbq with friends Christmas Day which will be lovely. I never find it a sad day. Ex and his partner will have the kids for 5 hours Christmas Day so will have a few drinks and relax while they're gone. Taking my eldest volunteering Xmas eve and we are going to wrap presents for a local charity. I can't wait. Firmly believe you can choose to sit and wallow or you can make it what you want.