How to support anorexic dd?

[LadyGodivasOperation]

Dd 17 is in outpatient care for anorexia.

What can I do during this refeeding period to be more supportive and make her feel better?

My heart is breaking for her. What else can I do for her? Ive bought her nice bath things, soft pjs, lots of little treats, made more time for her.

What practical things can I do for her to help or make her feel better?

Sometimes it is like that- relief at being stopped because then it's not you betraying anorexia, it's because you 'have' to.

I'd find the daily notes difficult because my self esteem at that time would twist all the meanings. It's hard to explain but due to nutritional deprivation anything can be twisted to serve the AN and it's hard to think outside of that until you're out of famine mode at a reasonable BMI.

Just keep on keeping on, OP. And no shoulds or coulds to yourself either, those I should have or could have or musts are actually the standards that drive anorexia. You always do your best and your best is good enough. You don't have to be perfect, being fine is completely fine.

My DD is also suffering from anorexia. It is a horrible illness and I tried to juggle everything in the beginning to help her. She is also a very bright, perfectionist girl and I'm learning that this is a trait of the illness.
I have found that spending time together is really helping, not necessarily doing anything extravagant but being in the same room as her just is making a difference. It's a long road to recovery but one that we will get through.

She just had a total meltdown after two good days.

I dont think I can handle this at home. She needs inpatient treatment. I gave her the chance to do things this way.

I love her. She will not be happy but she isnt 18 yet, and I can force this on her.

I am not happy in her rollercoaster, hopefully she will rest and calm down.

Im not trying to control her. The anorexia rules her, not me. Im just trying to save her from it.

yyou arent failing her op.i don't think there is one family suffering that wont have the forcing arguing battle ground over food ast some point or many points! your otherwise essentially being told to watch your child die.and that wont happen esepcailly at the begiing when its all you instantly think it is about.
is she getting emotional health.becasue as much as the food is the issue its not what bought her here so that needs help too otherwise the cycle of thing go wrong-food,bad feeling-food,past trauma-food. will always keep tormenting her.

I think you are right to tell her about 18 cheeriosthis isn't on and her illness will push her sometimes right in front of you to have less especially so someone will save her in a wobbly moment and say "no no come on it ok,have the right amount" because in hr head there will be "have a few less.you see she didn't say anything you got away with it,you see you fat cow she doesn't want you to eat.now a few less,feww less stil lshe wont notice or isn't saying" and some days she will either thank you for rescuing her or hate you for it because shes still haing to then battle the feelings if that makes sense.
to her sibling try and remind them that this is like the sisters tumour.so that invades the body and makes all sorts of changes and ill health that the suffer cant control.this is the same with the mind.this illness is the tumour had invaded her mind and take control of how she acts and think.and her self worth suffers and so she just cannot fight it or doesn't believe she is worthy of it.
the illness wants her lonely wants to make her feel like the most hated,loathsome unlovable being. how hard must that be and how scary to feel this way.
its never easy.you are battling an abuser in her head.abusers as we know are clever,manipulative and aims to trap its victim in it clutches.
she does love you.more than she will every be able to say.her violence and rage and despair is at the situation never you.
its a desperate illness to have to live with and live alongside.
but you know the one thing this illness doesn't have?LOVE. love love love love.and it can never steal that.so hold her tight and tell he rit cant never steal your love therefore it can never ever actually win or steal you.

It’s unfortunate OP but meltdowns are completely a feature of eating disorders. Whether she’s an inpatient or at home, they will happen. Even if she was on her own they would happen. It’s not your fault (although the blame may well be pinned on you as an easy scapegoat). It’s hard to describe, and I don’t know if being young and hormones and all that added to it but this complete and utter panic, fear, anger and sadness all at once would erupt. I’ve had panic attacks as an adult but the overwhelming feeling out of control as a teenage/young adult anorexic was something else completely. Like an explosion in your brain. And they happened at my parents, in hospital, out of hospital, when I was in my own accommodation, whilst I was a “normal” weight but bulimic...they are awful.

Are you getting any support yourself? My mother and I went to a volunteer led support group that catered for parents/carers and eating disordered people. I think BEAT ran it.