First day back at work after miscarriage how do I do it?

[NewYoiker]

Title says it all really. I had a miscarriage whilst on holiday 2 weeks ago and had an erpc on Tuesday. I rang work on Monday to tell them I'd be off and the first conversation I had was 'call me after you've seen your gp I want to know if you'll be back in this week' the second was 'okay well I'll see you on Monday' not the most caring but never mind. I've had all week to recover but I'm still really sad and feel shitty :( but I'm going back tomorrow. How do I tell people? There's no point lying and saying it's the flu even though I do sound pretty ropey, as I'm a shit liar and I don't think flu makes you cry randomly.

How do I get through tomorrow? I'm shitting myself.

I probably wouldn’t go back yet to be honest. GP will sign you off for another week at least and in that time you have time to process what’s happened and be more ready to put on your brave face when you have to face people in work.

Didn't want to read and run, my only advice is to take the time you need. I was rushed back to work after my MC and I hadn't had time to process it. Do what feels right for you.

Sorry that you are going through this. You need time to process it. Your GP might sign you off for a bit longer. However if you do go back to work, I'd probably just say you've had a miscarriage; the more support you can get the better. You might find some people don't know what to say in response but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to tell the truth about what's happened.

Get signed off for another week. My gp was brilliant, she just said you go back when you feel ready.

Do work not know you've had a mc? I only ask because any sick leave you've had which is mc related is classed differently from an hr point of view. It is classed as pregnancy related so doesn't affect your usual sickness record. So can't be used against you basically. Sorry if I'm waffling, but I'd tell Work the real reason if you haven't yet.

Is your manager someone you would be willing to confide in?

I asked my boss to let people know what had happened. It was a small team and everyone knrw i was pregnant. I also got a colleague to meet me outside so I didn't have to walk in by myself. I don't know why this was important but it helped.
The first day back will be the worst so get it over with.
Good luck and be kind to yourself.

If you are still randomly crying you are not ready to be back at work.

I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Unfortunately this happened to me some years ago. I would say that if you don't feel like going back today, do go back to your GP and get a certificate. If your employer has stringent policies in place relating to sickness absence, remember that your reason for being off is related to pregnancy - and I don't believe that you could be penalised (we would take this approach where I work).

It can be difficult to tell your co-workers, as you can't predict how they will react. I worked in a predominantly female team and they were a huge source of support to me at the time. Is there anyone who is supportive within your workplace, who could let your co-workers know what has happened before you return? The most difficult thing is when you go back to work and someone asks you a question about the most mundane matter, when you are grieving. If you are not sure, do consider getting a certificate for another week and see how you feel after that.

No I told work I had a miscarriage because I didn't want to lie and didn't think I could not tell anyone. I'm not going in today. Going to the gp for another note