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I have a question about anger

4 replies

WaterBird · 09/12/2018 22:14

I didn't grow up in an angry household, but a close family friend whom I saw often was very short-tempered. As a result, I find any kind of anger extremely difficult to deal with, even when it's just someone complaining about something like being cut off by another car earlier that day, because I know that if I were to do/say the wrong thing, the anger could very easily get turned to me.
Now as an adult, my typical response to someone who is angry is "Calm down" or "I'll talk to you once you've calmed down."
My XBF would sometimes get into very passionate rants, and has told me that my response of telling him to calm down was really minimising his feelings. I'd really appreciate if some of you could tell me how you have dealt/deal with individuals who get angry easily.
Thanks.

OP posts:
CottonTailRabbit · 09/12/2018 22:17

Stay away from the uncontrolled angry people. Do not spend time with them.

Practice letting your own anger out in a normal way.

WaterBird · 09/12/2018 22:33

Thanks.
Luckily I don't have any contact with these particular individuals.
I let my own anger stay inside me a lot, and need to work more on that.

OP posts:
CottonTailRabbit · 09/12/2018 23:05

Maybe make a point of not running when someone is being normally angry like ranting about some idiot driver who nearly caused an accident or such like. Listen and empathise. Watch how other people react. Do not tell them how to feel (no "calm down").

If someone is ranting at you about you then refusing to talk until they can be civil is prefectly fine. Your ex might just have been a twat.

WaterBird · 09/12/2018 23:13

Thanks. Yes, he most definitely was a twat in lots of other ways.

OP posts:
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