Can someone explain funeral etiquette please

[donkeyteeth]

As in what happens editor and during church service. The funeral cars leave the persons home and go to the church... what happens then? Who follows the coffin? When do friends do? Do they follow the funeral procession or should they already be sat in church? Who enters with the coffin and behind it?

Very much a case of whatever the family wants. Generally i think most people other than those very close to the deceased would just go straight to the service and be in when they arrive.

Usually the undertakers direct the mourners, so if it's the family's wishes they will direct mourners to take their seats and then organise the procession to follow the coffin.

Sadly I've been to a few this year. It does rather depend on family wishes and local tradition.
If you are not close family you would normally just go straight to the church. If you are close family you should ask whether they want you to go to the house and follow the cars.

You do whatever you like.

My DM died last month, we had no funeral cars, everyone made their own way to the crematorium. Everyone gathered in the waiting room, the hearse arrived and the coffin was taken into the chapel, then everyone went in afterwards and sat down.

For my FIL, people went in and sat down in the chapel, then they brought the coffin in. No funeral cars for that funeral either.

It depends which part of the country you're in. I know it's totally different here in Scotland to where I lived in England.

If you are invited to the house before the hearse arrives you should follow after all the funeral cars, otherwise make you own way to the church /crem and wait outside with the other mourners to be directed (especially at a crem where is a bit of a conveyer belt of services and there could be one in progress when you arrive).

If it is a friend/work colleague sit further back to allow family in the first few rows, if it is busy, and you are able to, stand at the back to allow any older mourners to sit as the services can be/seem long.

If you are attending a crem/burial after a service either follow the hearse or again make your own way their depending on where you got parked, just don't overtake the hearse if you end up on the same road!