DH is a coach for our local junior football team. He is also Chairman of the whole club (a voluntary, unpaid role). DS1, who is 10 next week, plays for said team. Every weekend they are out of the house training on Saturday from 8.30am-11am, then playing matches on Sundays at various times, but it usually takes up the whole morning, e.g. today it is 9.30am-1.30pm. Then when they get back DH spends the next hour or so messaging people to dissect the games & they both have to get showered etc, so it will be 2.30pm before we can do anything as a family.
DH also attends 4 evening meetings a month for various football things. Then when he is not working (which can be for weeks at a time as he works contracts), he is often down the club most days, doing general maintenance. At home, he has been constructing a website, which has taken up most evenings, although this is now done so it has tailed off somewhat. When he is working, he is out of the house 8am-8pm, so sees the DC for maybe an hour a day. I am a SAHM, although I'm due to start a zero hours job in the New Year.
Then roughly half of all weekends they spend another couple of hours watching their team on TV. Once every 4-6 weeks they travel to see the team, which takes from 11am-8pm (team is 2.5 hour drive away).
I also volunteer a morning a week at the local library, but this is 4 hours on a schoolday, so it means that it does not affect the DC. I don't do it in school holidays. I have recently spent some time setting up social media pages for the library & this month have had weekly meetings, during school hours, for a seasonal event we participate in. DH says that this is the same as him volunteering for football.
I get rather fed up that I am then left on my own with DS2 & 3 (4 & 7, but 7-year old very like 4-year old as he has ASC) for large chunks of the weekend, and because they take our only car, we are unable to go further than our village. So, most weekends we will do reading & homework & sometimes baking or craft, or we will go to the park if the weather is decent, which it often isn't at this time of year, or to the library. I sometimes take them to watch the end of a match if it's at home, but they are very hard work there & it is not enjoyable for any of us. I really miss having weekends or even days away as a family, and I also find it hard work with the little two. DH says I am being unreasonable for being fed up, and that we can still do things for the rest of the weekend. We do do things as a family of 5, but they have to be very local, because by the time they are ready to go out anywhere, we only have a couple of hours of light left.
I guess that I am wondering if he is right & I am being unreasonable to get so fed up. I feel it is healthy for DH & DS1 to have a hobby, but I just wish it wasn't so all-consuming. Is anybody else in a similar situation? Sorry for the rant 