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Loneliness

1 reply

Proudmummy2018 · 08/12/2018 23:45

Hey
I’ve been with my husband 19 years and married 14 I just feel so lonely we have 2 amazing kids and there brilliant company but I feel lonely in my marriage. My husdand works long hours and work during the day when he’s at work but he just doesn’t give me any time when he’s at home. Basically when the alarm goes in the morning I always get up with him dispite him waking at 5 and me not needing to wake till 7 but he never gets up with my he stays in bed for 15 minutes on his phone then gets up dressed and out the door, when he comes home he says hello to me and kids then will sit on his mobile phone for ages then depending on time when kids go bed he will spend the night on his phone or he falls asleep and there is no time for us to have any alone time not just for sex although that’s a very rare occurrence once every 3-4 weeks or even longer, some times would be lovely just to have his full attention and sit and talk but that never ever happens. For example this weekends Friday and Saturday night. The last couple weeks I’ve worked all weekend and he’s worked Saturdays this weekend we were both off Saturday and I’ve got to work few hours tomorrow (Sunday) I thought it would be lovely to have a nice evening together Friday night got us a little drink and though we could snuggle up on the sofa but nope that didn’t happened. Saturday he said we would spend the evening together got the kids all settled and in bed we put a movie on he left his phone up on the side but within 30 minutes he was asleep so nothing again. I don’t want to be the one who’s always grumpy but I feel really unhappy with having no time together. I get him being tired when he’s working as he works so hard and physical work but he can’t doesn’t be even stay up and awake with me when he’s off. He’s says I’m just grumpy all the time but it’s not themat I’m grumpy I’m so up happy with not getting anything or any time from him I can’t just act happy and act like everything is perfectly ok
Thanks for listening

OP posts:
Hendricksandtonicplease · 11/12/2018 10:13

Hi Proud,

I can relate to your post as my partner works long days the majority of the time and this includes weekends and evenings. He also accuses me of being grumpy at times and, similar to you, I am unhappy that we don't have enough quality time together.

I have found that speaking to him when I know he's in a good mood is the best way to get him to listen. Also, planning date nights and letting him know well in advance is the only way we ever spend quality time.

Do you plan date nights? Also when you speak to him, make sure he knows how much you appreciate how hard he works etc. Etc. And just tell him that you miss him because you don't spend enough quality time together.

Good luck, it is so tough.

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