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Original poster

age gap

11 replies

queenofgoogle · 08/12/2018 17:41

would you say an age gap of 6 years between the youngest 2 children is too much?
I really want a baby before I leave it too late, I.e my age and also I don't want too big an age gap between the DC but now I'm thinking I've already left it too late.

OP posts:

Iknowthatguy · 08/12/2018 17:45

Too much for what?

dangerinthemanger · 08/12/2018 17:52

Not too much

Gaps here of 2, 6, 2 and 10. Smallest is 4 and her bf at school has a sister 28 years older

If you want another go for it!

driggle · 08/12/2018 18:03

DS and DD have a 7yr age gap. Bigger than I would have wanted but that's the way it was. DD is only 3 months old so they don't really play as such yet but DS is very helpful with her. He'll watch over her if I leave the room, strokes her face when she gets upset in the car, shows her toys, fetches nappies, muslins, dummies etc for DP and I. He likes to push the pushchair. So there a lot of ways they can bond and as she gets older and can interact more, I know DS will be straight there with the toys to play with her. Go for it!

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Families

Maryann1975 · 08/12/2018 18:05

It doesn’t matter what is right for other families, only what is right for your family. For us, we wanted our dc close-ish together there is 4.5 years between our eldest and youngest with one in the middle. But I know families with children 20 years apart and they seem to get on really well. It just means different dynamics but that’s fine.

mortifiedmama · 08/12/2018 18:11

I would. There's a 6 year age gap between me and my sister and I don't think it helped our relationship at all and was a difficult ages gap- there's few things suitable for both ages (films, toys, days out, activities etc), they aren't in to the same things, once the older onnis in high school the difference becomes even more obvious and the gap bigger and the younger sibling even more irritating!

On the other hand, my friend is middle of 3, with 6year gaps on either side. They weren't close growing up but are now they are adults.

hidinginthenightgarden · 08/12/2018 18:13

If I had a choice I would have had mine much closer together. As it happens, life doesn't always go to plan so we didn't get that.
Doesn't mean we aren't happy with what we have though.

Original poster

queenofgoogle · 08/12/2018 18:24

Thank you for your replies.
I am feeling like I need to have one soon as i know I'll regret it if I don't have another but honestly it doesn't seem to the be the right time at the moment, too much going on, but then if I leave it any longer I'll resent going through the baby stage again when the others will be almost done with primary school.

OP posts:

mastertomsmum · 08/12/2018 18:39

7 year age gap between me and DB. My DH is one of 4 - 4.5 years gap between eldest and youngest and they would have been even closer if MIL had not had a miscarriage between 3rd and 4th child.

DH gets on ok with his siblings but didn’t esp as a child. He dies instigate contact with one of his siblings but not with the others unless it’s time for a family get together.

I always got on with mine and felt there was not sibling rivalry. I definitely felt that I had some of the advantages of being an only child but with the plus of actually having a sibling. Sadly he is no longer alive but it’s a comfort that we were close and did not argue and I do think the age gap was part of that.

I also think that you get what you get and/or what feels right. We have one son, it took us 10 Yrs to conceive and it felt right not to try for another. I have a neighbour with 3 children 4,3 and 2. The older 2 boys are so close in age that they looked like twins in the double buggy until recently. I know I could not have coped with that.

snowone · 08/12/2018 18:49

Currently pregnant with DD2 - there will be a 4.5 year age gap.

DavedeeDozyBeakyMickandTich · 08/12/2018 18:56

Try not to overthink this. The worst thing you can do is have a baby when you're not ready. If it's not the right time, wait until it is. Don't worry about the age gap, ultimately it doesn't matter. I know people with a less than two year age gap to their siblings and despise them and siblings with ten years between them who are best friends. Whether you go back to the baby stage now or later, again makes not much difference it's just as hard. You might enjoy having just one at home to think about whilst the other is at school or old enough to be out with friends, doing their own thing, and even to help out from time to time. Do what's right for you, you are the one raising them!

Orangecake123 · 08/12/2018 19:04

There's 3 years between me and my brother, but 9 and 11 years between my younger sisters. My sisters and I also shared a room growing up which wasn't ideal. I'm closer to my brother though and feel like I can actually talk to him about what I'm going through, whereas with my younger sisters it's the other way around.

I don't think 6 years is too much though- it's about what's right for your family.

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