SAHM

[momomia]

Hi! First post please be nice! Trying to figure out finances want to stay home with daughter, trying to see if we can survive on husbands salary. He earns £60,000 and our mortgage is £1000 a month plus high bills of about £2000 a month but that's everything inc travel and food I think?

Any other SAHM out there? What does your house earn so you can stay home? Thanks so much

It sounds do-able if all expenses are met within £3000p/m.

However it doesn't leave much disposable cash for savings, holidays, Christmas etc etc.

What is your lifestyle like now? Could you cope with the change in expectations?

Without massively going into finances, I stay at home with our 2 boys and have done since the first was born, for us it works because childcare costs are so high that it's barely worthwhile for me to be working. We did it as a lifestyle choice, I wanted to look after our children and didn't want anyone else looking after them! Our mortgage is £600ish a month, bills not as high but have "healthy" spending habits... etc, financially it works just fine. The 60,000 will be more than enough to live comfortably depending on where you are in the country, but I suppose the deciding factor is whether your salary would more than enough cover childcare if you were to be working

£2000 for bills other than mortgage, and presumably no childcare costs if you're a SAHM, sounds enormous.

Does your DH commute cost a lots? Have you minimised all your essential expenses as much as possible?

One thing you can do as SAHM is use the time to budget and manage your finances well, cut all your essential costs and it should give your disposable income a good boost.

Have a look at the Moneysavingexpert Money Makeover for a systematic run through of your finances to see what you can save where.

Basically, you should be trying to reduce as many expenses as possible. Also think about how to reduce your grocery bill and be aware of what meals are expensive to make, and try swapping them for some cheaper ones.

Also make sure you are claiming child benefit, even if you don't take the money (I think you can do it this way) to get the NI credits.

What are your bills??? That’s high

That’s do-able but as PP has said, not much room for disposable income, savings etc. We do it on around that, but I spend a lot of time shopping around getting the best deal on everything, we don’t go out much and not too many holidays.

Your bills sound extremely high, is there any scope to bring them down?
I don’t think I’d do it with those incomings and outgoings... it wouldn’t leave much wiggle room for emergencies/savings/luxuries.

Is it what you both want?

What would you say if he wanted to be a Sahp?

What is your future plans? To move? What age do you both want to retire? Will you have a pension? What if you divorce?

Where do you both see yourselves in 5 years? 10 years? 35 years? Is that possible on this income?

He's really happy for me to stay home as we want more children soon and this means no trying to navigate maternity leave somewhere. Our bills are high, council tax is ridiculous and commuting costs £550 a month for my husband. Thinking about meals is really helpful thanks as we tend to do lots of dine in for £10 nights which adds up over the week and he eats out for lunch most days.

That leaves you (after tax) with £500 pm.

Only you can decide if that's sufficient.

I earn 60k and after tax, am not left with much more than 3k/month. I would say it is too tight unless you can cut those bills down.

Bear in mind that you will spend money as a SAHM, you'll probably want to do stuff to get you out and about and keep the kids occupied. My toddler really needs to do something everyday and free stuff only gets you so far.

Also - worth factoring in that if interest rates go up, your mortgage will (unless you are on a long term fix)

There are people doing it on a lot less. Would you be happy cutting down on food spending (suppers and DH’s lunches out)? That seems like a major expense at the moment.

I think it sounds a bit tight with your outgoings but if you're prepared to live frugally you'd probably be okay.

In your financial shoes however, i would go back to work at least part time. It's nice to have a disposable income when kids get a bit older so you can get some weekends away or activities / days out in. Also if you want another baby you would get mat pay if your company offers.

Up to you of course but it does sound a bit stressful financially

My DP earns less, and our rent is more expensive than your mortgage. Most months we cope fine and are able to save money each month and go on holiday each year.

However, I no longer spend much money on things like haircuts/highlights, make up, clothes, we have no gym membership, we rarely have take aways or meals out, DP goes out with friends once a month-ish, me less often (but I have quite a few sahm friends so can socialise during the week). If we wanted/needed the above we couldn't cope. So it depends on the sort of lifestyle you want. On paper it sounds a bit miserable but I don't feel like we go without.

If you are a SAHM you should be able to cook meals cheaper than the £10 deals, I have always batch cooked in a massive pot so I have extra for the freezer to use on busy days. Also his eating lunch out will really add up...even a £3 meal deal is £60 a month that could be cut down by taking his own. If he eats at places like pret/gets take away coffees he will spending much more. Things like changing utility suppliers/shopping around for insurance deals can save £££ too.

Thanks so much, lots to think about! So sad I'm away that £60,000 isn't enough as it sounds high but life is higher I guess!

I suspect you're spending a lot on food and drink, both in and out of the house.

Fine if you're happy for that to be your luxury but definitely an area to look at cutting down on, to free up money for other nice things too.

I have recently become a SAHM. Definitely do the moneysavingexpert calculator. We do have to spend less now.

You also need to think about your pension plan.