Parents, and the effects of phones on children's development

[echt]

I read this today and couldn't post on it as the thread was closed:

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/dec/07/mother-on-instagram-baby-fell-down-stairs-parental-phone-use-children

What struck me was how the idea of "looking" as the literal act was at the centre of what was compromised by the attention paid to phones. We speak of "looking after a child" or, in what I think of as the Scottish idiom, "watching". This makes it plain that eye must meet eye, full attention paid. The headline of the child falling downstairs was silly, as this can happen anyway, and not directly phone-related. The later research, based on repeated behaviours, is more interesting.

My own immediate connection was a remark this morning, made by a dog walking acquaintance who noted my new puppy's behaviour: He'll be a good dog, he keeps looking back at you to check." Previous to this I've often noticed walkers who are on headphones/bluetoothing/on phones walking hundred of metres ahead of their dogs, never looking them in the eye. The ones who don't are constantly interacting with their pooches, playing, checking. Oh, and seeing when they take a shit on the other side of the field.

I'm not claiming any superiority here as my child was raised pre-phones.

Yes, this is a serious issue. Same here, my son is grown now, a baby 20 odd years ago. I remember him in new situations/people he'd just look around at me and check out my face/eyes for reassurance first of all. I read about it years later being a natural inbuilt instinct/reaction. Same with dogs as you've pointed out.

These things are very subtle aren't they. Easily missed if engrossed in a phone or wearing headphones. I've seen it many a time. A child trying to gets it's parents attention. Repeating over and over something they want acknowledgement of.

Hopefully we'll realise before it's too late.

OP thank you so much for sharing this. I now want to change, that story and the research is heartbreaking. Off to google to look for tips on weaning my screen time (Scweaning?!)

My parents both ignored me, in the pre-phone era, with their noses buried in newspapers and books. Even while walking. It's not a new thing.

I agree with you, RollercoasterOfLove, and the books/newspapers undoubtedly existed. But how many modern parents walk down the street reading a book? This is the point of the article.

I was on a bus recently , two young mothers got on with their babies in slings.Both mothers engrossed in their cellphones totally unaware of their surroundings.The two babies both aged about 9 months did their utmost to engage with each other .That reaching out and babbling but because of the lack of attention from their mums nothing happened and no friendly contact was made between the two eager and friendly little souls.It was so sad to see.

I feel horribly guilty about this. First step is to wean myself off MN, ironically, as it’s this that constitutes most of my screen time.