I feel so lonely and sad and there seems to be nobody I can call

[CountessVonBoobs]

Am upset with DH. Not even angry, but sad. He's out again tonight and got arsey with me for being disappointed and I just feel so taken for granted and lost. I don't want to tell him not to go because he cancelled going out recently to look after me. I have two kids to look after and I just want to crawl under the covers and cry. And I can't think of anyone I could call to talk to. All my friends without kids now live far away, all my friends with kids are relationships too new and fragile for me to call them and wail about my slightly nonspecific woe.

I don't know. Maybe I'm having a hormonal meltdown. Maybe it's delayed onset PND. But I just feel like I've discovered like I'm alone in my relationship and that I've sacrificed every other relationship that I could talk to about it.

Phone one of your friends. Phone them all if you have to. With or without kids, if they're your friends they will want to help. Don't moan the whole time though. Tell them how you're feeling for the first few minutes, then ask them about their lives. Talking about something else will help you feel better. And the old saying 'If you want a to have a friend, be one' might help you forget about your woes, real though they are, if you find that one of your friends is having a similar shit time.

You're right, I know. I think I will call one of my sisters and/or a friend tonight.

I really don't know why I'm reacting like this. I've definitely lost perspective somehow.

I'm sorry to hear your feeling down. Being a Mum is really exhausting at times. If you've two little one's I'm sure your sleep isn't great and that really does affect everything else. Try to do something nice for yourself and definitely just having a chat can give you the lift you need sometimes. Maybe you need to have a night out too. Even if it's just to the cinema for a break.

Perspective is right.

What a black mood does is cloud any true sense of relation or friendship or happiness so when you look around you think you have no where to go and no one to turn to.

Please call your sister AND a friend and also make an appointment with your doctor

I should go out more really. And it's not that DH wouldn't enable that. But I don't want to go out all the time, I want to be there for bedtime when I've been at work all day. And that's what's bothering me. I sometimes feel like DH had kids just because he thought it was what you do and although he loves us, he lives for the times he can get away from us and not the ones when he can get back to us.

Your DH is finding it difficult in his own way. There's no point expecting him to feel exactly the same as you. If he's usually a good dad and husband and needs some time on his own occasionally, then that's completely normal. If, on the other hand, he's out every night and doesn't give you the chance to meet your own needs in the way that suits you best then you need to have a conversation with him about how your relationship with each other is developing now that you are parents as well as spouses.