Partners tells mother everything

[Nkj8912]

Me and oh have a 6 month old baby we have been going through a bad patch and just seem to not be able to communicate or get on, the littlest thing can go on for a day or 2 and silent treatment is a regular thing, we have been trying to get threw this but every now and then we are straight back to the start. We do not argue but the atmosphere is there and its unfair for our baby. What is irritating is that our problems are never kept between us my oh tells his mother everything he always plays the victim and due to this we no longer talk, his mum always eggs him on which then leads us to not being able to sit down and speak as adults as he is constantly told he is right and i am wrong, when i was talking to his mum she would always say that she would remain friends with me regardless but soon enough i saw that to be a lie as she would say one thing to me and then tell him i was out of order. If me and oh were not on speaking terms i would not hear from her even when i reached out to her, what we go threw is not her business it has ruined mine and her relationship and me and the oh can not seem to sort our differences without her opinion, i have told him to stop doing this but he cant seem to help it,

I tell my mum most things, and certainly anything I'm worrying about in my relationships (except sex life). I wouldn't like to be told by my partner that I couldn't talk to her. And after any break up of course you can't expect to remain friends with your ex's mum. She shouldn't have told you otherwise, as her first priority will always be her own son.

However, he shouldn't be using her opinions against you in arguments / disagreements. What she thinks can help him form an opinion, but it irrelevant to you. He needs to stop telling you what she thinks unless you specifically ask.

Finally, silent treatment isn't okay. You don't say whether it is you or him, but either way it needs to stop. It would be a red flag for me.

The silent treatment is on his side it used to bother me i'm passed it now.

Him discussing our issues with his mum has caused her to talk inappropriately about me to other family members they then have an opinion of me without knowing the facts, although i respect that he confides to his mum he can only tell her on his behalf, i respect she gives him her opinion but she also passes judgement and he then uses that to make me feel foolish.

He will seek his mothers opinion before we even try to solve the issue ourselves, she will always tell him he is right and criticise me, after all of this when we finally do talk, hear each other out and come to a resolution we both look ridiculous.
I learned to not confide to my mother about issues as issues can usually be resolved fairly quickly however an opinion tends to stick

Send him back to mum. There is three of you in this marriage, two of them are biased and it won't work.

Send him back to mum. There is three of you in this marriage, two of them are biased and it won't work

I think so. One thing is to talk to his mother about his problems, which is reasonably natural, and another thing is that she is not being at all helpful.

Personally I never discuss any negative feelings I have about a friend or relative with someone who hates them, as that is just adding fuel to the fire. I seek out someone who loves them and will help me see their point of view.

I hate to say it, but his foolish mother seems to be determined to separate you both.