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Original poster

Nightmares - is there literally nothing we can do?

26 replies

cjt110 · 06/12/2018 10:48

DS is 4. He's an OK sleeper but since starting school I would say wakes up, at least once a night, most nights having had a bad dream.

Lions. Monsters. Friends at school. Us.

The other night it was 4 or 5 times in one night.

Today is was once but at 4.30. He wouldn't settle so ended up with us in bed so we all ended up with no more useful sleep.

I can't cope with the bad dreams. Is there anything we can do to help?

As an aside, DH says once we have settled him, like this morning to just leave him be. Even if he's crying or shouting for me. DS has always shouted for me because he knows I'm soft and can't deal with him being upset and DH thinks this is an extension of that and we should allow him to essentially cry it out. This morning I settled him and within moments of getting back into bed, DS was crying out for me - whinging as opposed to crying - with a few crying type bits in between. DH went in, told him it was nighttime and to go back to sleep. He immediately stopped "crying" and was quiet for a few moments then started to call out for me again.

In the end I called for DS to come in to us and he did.

Any advice on either issue?

OP posts:
Knowivedonewrong · 06/12/2018 11:01

My DS who is now 21, had bad dreams when he was small.
What I used to do and it may seem daft, was to take away the bad dreams by putting my hand on his temple and taking them away.

Then I'd put good dreams in his head, again at his temple.
It was a regular night time ritual that he called: "Bad dreams, Good dreams."
Even my parents and brother did it for him when he stayed with them!.

Anyway it worked! He very rarely had bad dreams after that.

Original poster
cjt110 · 06/12/2018 11:10

Knowivedonewrong That's a great idea. Anything is worth a try! Perhaps I could try it at bedtime, so he knows he's going to bed with good dreams. And of course, if he wakes, we can take them away and give the good dreams?

He never suffered from them, in so far as I remember, before starting school.

OP posts:
Original poster
cjt110 · 06/12/2018 13:44

bumping for any more advice

OP posts:

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BitchQueen90 · 06/12/2018 15:12

No advice but do you think there's something going on at school? Is he unhappy there?

Fatted · 06/12/2018 15:18

I was going to say try to encourage your DC to talk about their day at school and anything that could be upsetting them there.

My DH sleep walks and talks etc when he is tired and stressed. 5YO DS is showing similar signs. He has bad dreams and also wakes up in the night just crying hysterically but he is totally out of it when he's like that.

Try to avoid letting DC get overtired. DS is always bad on a night he's been up late or physically exhausted before bed. He also tends to be restless on the nights if he's been watching something on the telly too close to bed time. Really try to help DC wind down after the busy school day.

Tumilnaughts · 06/12/2018 15:18

She I was little I suffered as well. My mother got me a dream catcher to put in my window- this is where the bad dreams came into the room- and thus, I stopped having bad dreams.

This is along the same lines as pp who 'takes the bad dreams away'. As dreams are all psychological it's worth a shot!

Tumilnaughts · 06/12/2018 15:19

She should be when!!!!! Stupid phone.

AltheaVestr1t · 06/12/2018 15:22

Perhaps some mindfulness type practice on self settling would work? It can be difficult to quiet the mind after a bad dream, even for grownups. If you could leave a mindfulness recording in his room and practise it a few times with him he would have a strategy to use to put himself back to sleep.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 06/12/2018 15:24

Do some visualisation. .. imagine all the stressful thoughts and bad dreams going up in littlw bubbles and floating away. Fill the space with white light and happy dreams. Take him to a place in his head where he feels happy, sunshine on his face, breeze in the trees, listening to a story. My kids have some beautiful fairies who bring them the most wonderful dreams and stories.

Oddsocksandmeatballs · 06/12/2018 15:27

I had a dream catcher and a worry doll for my daughter when she was small, she had terrible nightmares and both of those things seemed to help.

jazzandh · 06/12/2018 15:31

My DS wake with bad dreams when they are over tired. Seems to make them more unsettled.

Try to get him to bed early for a few nights to catch up.

ikltownofboothlehem · 06/12/2018 15:43

I used to do similar to @Knowivedonewrong. I 'take' the bad dreams out of DS's head and throw them away. Then I'd kiss good dreams into his head.

dangermouseisace · 06/12/2018 16:17

My daughter was like this. I bought her a dream catcher and a special herbal pillow. Obviously they have no power to stop bad dreams but they helped her psychologically. The special pillow still has to go under her pillow even though the herbs have long stopped smelling!

statetrooperstacey · 06/12/2018 16:26

I can highly recommend a hypnosis cd. We got something called 'the little elephant who couldn't sleep' or something like that anyway! It's for kids and has a book and a cd. It knocked my husband out as well! It's very relaxing and very effective. It was about £8/10 off Amazon .

Original poster
cjt110 · 06/12/2018 16:34

BitchQueen90 He is happy at school and we haven't had any issues reported by him, or staff.

I've lately been putting him to bed with Audible on reading something like Peter Pan or Jack and the Beanstalk in the hope it would soothe him into sleep although it doesn't seek to be helping.

Thanks for all your brilliant suggestions xx

OP posts:
Her0utdoors · 06/12/2018 17:03

Dd has been having lots of nightmares since going into reception, there's a lot of new stuff going on in her world and she's working really hard at school. Give him all the cuddles he needs and this to will pass.

youaremyrain · 06/12/2018 18:56

Try a bedtime meditation, there's free ones geared towards children online and through apps

Nightmares - is there literally nothing we can do?
Original poster
cjt110 · 09/12/2018 07:28

I've "taken" his bad dreams the last few nights and he's slept through. Coincidence perhaps but who cares!

OP posts:
KnittingSister · 09/12/2018 08:26

We had 'the owl who was afraid of the dark'
And an owl soft toy and a couple of other books which really helped.

TickleMyPickle · 09/12/2018 08:37

When DD went through similar I would dance around her room last thing at night singing “bad dreams bad dreams go away, good dreams good dreams here to stay”

TheMythicalChicken · 09/12/2018 08:41

Does he sleep on his back? When I was a child I had terrible nightmares which were so bad that I had to see a psychiatrist. I was eventually put on medication. Nothing worked.

Then Mum had a chance conversation with a woman at work who suggested it could be because I was sleeping in my back.

So I started sleeping on my side and did not have another nightmare for years.

TheMythicalChicken · 09/12/2018 08:42

*on my back

thenewaveragebear1983 · 09/12/2018 13:55

Haven’t read the whole thread so it may have already been said, but I swear by a swipe of vicks under the nostrils for bad dreams. My mum used to do it for my brother, and I’ve always done it for my dc.

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 09/12/2018 14:00

I'm suffering from post traumatic stress and find that the nightmares are less frequent when I leave the radio on in my room overnight. Only very quietly and on a relaxing station. I use Smooth.

scrolling123 · 09/12/2018 14:11

I'm nearing 40 now and I can still remember my dad saying 'bad dreams out good dreams in' and the feeling of him blowing on my ears. Soothes me to this day. Xx