is this what anxiety feels like?

[spaghetticarbonara]

I wouldn't class myself as a worrier. I do find this time of year quite depressing though - i'm in Scotland so it's not light until after 8am and dark again by 3.30pm. I don't enjoy Christmas and it's just a rubbish time of year.

On top of that, we are having fairly major issues with water coming into the house through the roof. This leak has me so worried and anxious even though that in practical terms, we have the money to pay for fixing it, we've spoken to a builder and they will be over as soon as it's dry enough. I feel physically sick, with a knot in my stomach. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on other things. I work from home and when I'm supposed to be working all I can think of is the drip drip drip through the ceiling. I woke up about three times last night and it was my first thought.

I've never really felt like this before and I don't like it.

I think everyone would feel some degree of anxiousness with those circumstances.

However, anxiety and panic attacks are not necessarily or are always triggered by specific events or problems.

Anxiety for many sufferers is something that can happen for no rhyme or reason or even be triggered by something mundane.

I've had anxiety and depression for years and I'm afraid it does sound like anxiety.

when I first had it, there were also problems at home, it's so hard isn't it. SAD makes it harder.

do you want to go to the doc or would you rather deal with it differently?

one thing I have found is that SAD lamps don't help me - I have very full on bright lamps that I use in winter and have to keep them on as much as I can.

I'd rather not medicate. I really don't think it's that bad. I know what strategies help me - things like getting out for a walk in the daylight whenever I can. But there's so much going on at home I just haven't been able to get out. Maybe I should go out even in the wet. I was looking at online CBT stuff but really have no idea where to start with it.

Have a look at Mindfulness OP. It has really helped my anxiety and it can be 'done' anywhere.

I agree with getting out when you can to get some daylight.

It sounds like anxiety to me, though if you've never really suffered before, hopefully once you've fixed this specific issue it'll let up. I'd try not to worry about being worried on top of the general winter blues etc.

See how you feel after the roof is fixed. Mindfulness might well help you relax in the meantime - the Headspace app is good and has a free trial that might tide you over till the builder's been!

And I feel for you on the drip drip drip - that's the first sign of an anxiety flare up for me, lying in bed and hearing water. All because of a fairly minor flooding incident where I left a tap running. Once. 5 years ago. Still haunts me 😅

Thank you all. It's just come at the worst time of year for me, a time when i'm already struggling. And the short hours of daylight, holidays and shitty weather means the builder might not be able to do the work for a month or more.

We're persevering with puppy pads to soak up leaks and I've ordered some special plumbing spill soak strip things. Next week is looking dry so even if the builder can't come, we're not going to have issues with water.

I think this all stems from when I was about 10 - I grew up in a very old house and in December one year the ceiling fell down because of a leak. It wasn't fixed properly and a few years later my parents discovered dry rot. Any sort of water getting into the house scares the hell out of me. And the powerlessness - i can't do anything to make it better.

I second Headspace - I have had really bad anxiety after a tough international move and it's really helped me. What I would say is: do something about the anxiety NOW while it's manageable and there's only one main source of it (the roof). Otherwise I found it tends to spread to other areas of your life 😕 I started out with a fear of flying, but then a really pressured time at work led to feeling anxious speaking in meetings etc, and then a scary drive meant it started creeping into my driving ... I hate it. Don't let it become an easy habit for your mind to slip into.

I fully understand your fear. I had a boiler 'go' on me once when I was alone and with a newborn baby and an almost 3 year old. It was in the middle of the night as well.

The immense rush of water gushing out like a waterfall was awful and I still feel sick remembering it.

I haven't overcome my anxiety about things like that but I do certain things to help calm me so that I don't have a full blown panic attack once my mind starts to spiral with the worry or anxious thoughts.

Thirding the mindfulness, or meditation (not sure how similar the two are, but there's lots of info online).

Can you get a daylight lamp? If you can't get out in the real sun, sitting in front of a daylight lamp could help, too. Limit screen time, especially in the evening.

Have downloaded the Headspace app. I have done a little bit of this sort of thing in the past at yoga classes and it does help to clear your head out a bit. Even if it's freezing next week I'll try to get out and walk if it's dry, it really does give you a boost.

DH is lovely and very supportive but is very much of the "it's just water, it will be fixed, we just have to do what we can, it's not your fault, why are you getting so upset over this?"