Help me make up and interesting fact about myself.

[bingirl]

I need your help!

I am due to go to a wanky team building work event next week and I've been given the heads up that we will be asked to introduce ourselves and tell everyone and interesting fact about myself.

The problem is I don't have one, I seriously have been racking my brains for the last two days and have come to the conclusion that I must be really boring as there really isn't anything 'interesting' to report, although I did have a few interesting one night stands in my single days but I don't think that would go down very well.

So plan b is to make something up, it obviously has to be believable and not too far fetched so I would welcome any suggestions.

You are the egg and spoon champion for your primary school since '94. Many children have tried to take your medal over the years, but you remain undefeated

You play real tennis? You were born in a caul? The last native speaker of Cornish was your ancestor?

I used to like blue cheese but since I've had children I can't stand it.

My second cousin was a Miss Helen on romper room in Canada.

I rang into Saturday swap shop and got speaking to Keith chegwin.

You are a descendent of Mary Boleyn, Anne Boleyn's sister.

I only recently found out quite how many people are. Including Marilyn Monroe, Ted Danson and Winston Churchill. Seriously, it's almost like it's unusual if you're not.

Say your aunt did the family tree and bingo.

Go through your memories thinking of ultimate moments, eg - what's the bravest thing you've ever done, what's the nearest you've come to death, what's the kindest thing anyone ever did for you, what's the weirdest thing you've ever seen in real life, what's the most heart warming moment, the most challenging, the silliest thing you ever did as a child, the craziest job you ever did etc. What have you done (that's suitable for work discussion) that no one would realise to look at you? And pcik something that is a bit uplifting if it's for team building.

You are allergic to Evian.

Or say this particular aunt used to work at Bletchley and was part of the Enigma team.

I'm loving this aunt.

Datun - I'm related to that aunt. She took me fencing in her younger days.

Your great great great grandmother, as a little girl, presented a bunch of flowers to Queen Victoria.

You would be 345th in line to the French throne - if only they still had one.

You were Miss Knobbly Knees at Butlins in 1997.

You can communicate with cats via body language.

Datun - I'm related to that aunt. She took me fencing in her younger days.

Ha! That's awesome. In my mind's eye she's partial to tweed and pink gin.

I had a colleague whose totally imaginary "interesting fact" in situations like this was that his childhood home had previously belonged to Bernie Taupin (Elton John"s lyricist). Obviously you could switch in another celebrity of your own choice.

Do you have any hobbies or belong to any clubs or groups?

Actually, just steal Tragically’s name and tell them that your interesting fact is that you’ve never owned a yacht.

I always hated this type of wankery. I couldn't be arsed making anything up so I've always relied on "I know how to milk a cow by hand as I did it every morning between the ages of 10-14". Most people don't believe me!

"In my spare time I lift weights with my vagina"

Don't elaborate but if questioned, use a few quotes from here -

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3429696/amp/Intimacy-coach-lifts-objects-big-surfboards-vagina-teaches-women-technique-claiming-improves-health-makes-look-younger.html

I've just remembered that around 30 years ago at one of these stupid get up and talk about yourself things a young woman talking about her Buderigar.

She was completely dead pan as she extolled its virtues and it was excruciating sitting there trying not to laugh.

Oh my, some of these are brilliant and made me spit my coffee out.

I will update you all after the event to let you know what I said - I have ruled out the weight lighting vagina one though