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Original poster

Getting breastfed baby to sleep without me

16 replies

Babyfg · 05/12/2018 21:47

My 11 month old dd has been breastfed to sleep since birth which has been lovely but due to a change in circumstances to our lives I’m hoping to get her to settle without having to feed her. The only thing is I have no idea where to begin in doing this! So just wanted to hear of how other mums went about this! Dd co sleeps with me and was also thinking this might be the time to get her into a cot as well as it might make her think of the boob less 🙈!

OP posts:

cheshireagain · 05/12/2018 21:49

Watching with interest!!!
Exactly the same boat with 10 mo DS xxx

fedupandlookingforchange · 05/12/2018 21:58

I’m still feeding my 16 month old to sleep, once he’s fast asleep I lift him into the cot. I weaned him off being fed to sleep fairly easily at about a year old. If I wanted to stop feeding to sleep at night I’d make sure he’d had plenty of high calorie food and plenty of exercise outside so he was tired but not overtired. There have been nights when he’s fallen asleep without being fed.

SazCat · 05/12/2018 22:16

I fed DD to sleep til she was 16 months, it was the last feed I kept and we decided to stop to see if it would help her sleep longer through the night (it did).

The first night I didn't feed her she did really cry to begin with, then fussed and moaned interspersed with dozing. Took about 2 hours of cuddling/gentle rocking for her to get into a deep sleep, at which point I put her in the cot (and she slept through for the first time ever!)

Next night was just a bit of a cry, then it just got better and better - she seemed to accept there was no more feed before bed after only a few days. My husband started sharing bedtime duties (which he'd never been able to do before as she wouldn't take a bottle) which was a great relief!

Unfortunately 4 months later we still hold her until she's asleep, after storytime and lights out. It only takes 15 mins ish tho, then we put her in cot and she sleeps through the majority of the time.

I just don't really know how to make the next step to getting her to fall asleep in her cot. But I'm so grateful for a good nights sleep, such a change from when I was BF! I'd do it again though despite the lack of sleep, as I loved the bond and felt it was best for DD

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Firstty · 05/12/2018 22:20

My 9 month old usually feeds to sleep but if that fails I just put her in her cot and let her cry for no more than 5 mins. 9 times out of 10 she's asleep within the 5 mins. Took me ages to do it as I hate hearing her so upset and we live in a terraced house - but Its only 5 mins in the evening once or twice a week.

Original poster

Babyfg · 05/12/2018 22:36

Thanks for all replies. The crying worries me as I’m so weak I give in to stop her crying 🙈 @sazcat 15 minutes sounds amazing. Did you substitute breast milk for water in a beaker or would that just be an unnecessary step? I’m thinking I should definitely sort the cot out (it’s currently being used as storage space for nappies 🤣)

OP posts:

SazCat · 06/12/2018 06:45

It was really hard to se her crying at first, but I'm glad I preserved as she got used to it really quick.

I suppose the difference is my DD was 16 months so I just started taking a beaker of cows milk up to bed which she'd drink during story time. I also made sure she had a late snack.

I'm not sure if it helped that my DD was a little older? I don't know about your DC but mine wasn't that interested in food at 11 months, so I think it was easier once she was and having plenty to eat plus cows milk in the day.

SazCat · 06/12/2018 06:46

Oh and yes I'd definitely sort the cot out, we had DD in a next to me til 7 months and although it was hard moving her into her own room, the night waking definitely improved after.

Original poster

Babyfg · 06/12/2018 21:45

@sazcat she’s really into her food and isn’t breastfeeding much during the day even though I’m trying to offer it to her, just mostly at night. That’s a good idea about feeding during story time- I think I will try and give her a fed before we go into the bedroom. We have a two year old that she will be sharing a room with eventually (another reason To get her to go to sleep without being fed) and getting both to sleep together in the same room is an adventure I don’t think I’m quite ready for yet so unfortunately she’ll be in our room for a bit longer I think (although hopefully in a cot lol)

OP posts:

SazCat · 06/12/2018 22:48

Good idea, I don't think you need to stop feeding her just separate it from bedtime I guess. I think it just happened to work out that I was ready to stop totally at 16 months. But it hindsight we may have had better sleep if I'd stopped feeding her to sleep earlier- I could have just done it earlier in her bedtime routine.

Aneira11 · 06/12/2018 22:58

Same situation here. Feeding 7-month old to sleep...and then we co-sleep, so milk is always on tap when he stirs. I haven’t slept properly in forever

Original poster

Babyfg · 07/12/2018 20:53

She’s not playing ball feeding her earlier or putting her in her cot... she’s definitely is happy with the current routine 🙄 and doesn’t fancy the change!

OP posts:

SazCat · 08/12/2018 12:04

She won't go to sleep at all without that last feed? It's so tough. I know it's not helpful but I think my DD would have struggled at 11 months too. They change so quickly.

Original poster

Babyfg · 08/12/2018 22:27

She wouldn’t go down so I fed her beside the cot and kept saying every so often, when you go to sleep I’m going to lay you in the cot (and having spent the afternoon putting her in it and telling her what would be happening to get her used to the idea). So when she fell asleep I put her in the cot and she woke three times in a right panic. She was so panicked I thought she might make herself sick even though she was only crying for a minute or two before I went in. I think I’m going to try once every week or two until she’s ready maybe. I agree, they change a lot once they turn into toddlers. I’m thinking forcing her might make things harder in the long run and I don’t think learning through fear is the way to go🙄 I was hoping the breastfeeding and co sleeping would make her so secure she’d just roll with it lol!

OP posts:

Clevs · 08/12/2018 22:32

I feed my 8 month old to sleep but need to stop somehow because when I go back to work I won't be around every night for bedtime so he's going to have to get used to daddy putting him to bed.

Original poster

Babyfg · 10/12/2018 08:51

Sam faiers seemed to be able to do it quite easily on baby diaries but it’s beyonf me 🤣🤣

OP posts:

GinUnicorn · 11/12/2018 18:56

It’s so tough.
I’m currently trying a combination of gradual fade and pick up pit down. My 14 month has never slept through and always breastfed to sleep or cuddled to sleep in the bed with me. Moved her to her own room now and when she cries
I stroke, soothe, say I love you and it’s okay and sleepy time with a lot of shushing. I’m now sleeping on a mattress next to her cot whilst patting her and soothing but not letting her cosleep or breastfeed.

It’s really hard as I hate seeing her cry and want to give in and cuddle her but at least I dont feel like I’m abandoning her. I’ll let you know if it works.

It’s so hard isn’t it. You love them so much but I think I’ll be a better mum if I’m less exhausted and I need to be able to focus for work.

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